How far are any of you from Shellharbour?

My friend (no I haven't) works over there. It's not his fault he's from Widnes, but his little girl is proper, proper poorly. They are in Wingywangylambylambstermaloo Hospital (yes I made that up) and she had 3 fits last night, and she is only ickle.

She likes bears. (I'll try and attach a photo - I am pushing 26 hours awake now). So if anyone is close by (ish) can they please buy a burr and take it to her? They are guaranteed a good night out in Shellharbour, and will be looked after. I know she looks like Princess, spawn of Jordan, but to him she is a Princess.

I've known this bloke since I was 15 and have forced him to join arrse for a laugh, but he's not laughing at the moment. He's sat in hospital with his little girl who has been laughing at my stupid dog's videos on Facebook. I will pay for the bear (burr). If I could be there to take my smelly stupid dog over there, I would, unfortunately I am far too poor, and doctors need to do strange things to me as well.

Can any of you convicts help out please?

Amber and Bear..jpg

Hopefully that photo works, and no sarky comments please, or your life on arrse will not be worth living.

Many thanks and Slug Hugs xxxxx

Mark The Convict

813 km, and I don't have a car. Plus it's in Enemy Territory. Sorry - is there anything else I can do?
813 km, and I don't have a car. Plus it's in Enemy Territory. Sorry - is there anything else I can do?
You don't need to do anything now that I have just coerced someone who works in Paraburdoo and works in a Post Office and will have a teddy bear there by Monday at the latest.

Did you know it's 2 days and 9 hours to drive that far? He was still offering to do it though. My faith in what you call "The Human Race" has been restored.

I promise not to slate the ex-RAF for at least a week, ish, but thanks for your help offer Mark. I shall take you up on that when I am smashed in Shellharbour and need carrying to my bed and you need to collect my vomit.

Can I just say please - I am not always bad. I know I can be a right tuppence on here sometimes, but that's probably because people deserve it. I will go all out to help people if I think they are not taking the piss out of me.

I look after me and my own, but not necessarily in that order sometimes.

That little girl belongs to a very good friend of mine, and anyone who knows me will know I will go through Hell and High Water to make them happy.

Thanks anyway Mark. It's appreciated.

Slug Hugs to all - and never under-estimate me. The Dale Power is something most of you will never understand.

OK Dads - lock this now please. I'm going back to being nasty slug!!!!!

<<Shimmies round the bedroom in pink jammies>>
Sorry mate, I'm a bit tied up with work. Hope your mate and family get through with a goodly outcome.
Pipsqueak the pooey says thanks anyway. Here's a grin for you.

don't hassle the huff.jpg

Psst - you're looking at the wrong eye.
Pipsqueak the pooey says thanks anyway. Here's a grin for you.

View attachment 46933

Psst - you're looking at the wrong eye.
Hope the wee lassy gets a result!

Bad Tyne Bridge impression from that dog! I expect more symetry, more artistic impression and a bit more effort, especially with that very bad canine's a German Heinz 57 JU88, practising his Gateshead grand slam technique.

Glad my old mate from the RAF was able to sort this for the wee lassie,even tho I was oblivious to it all going on on Facebook while I was sleeping.Nice one J.L!
Hi all, it's 3am here and Amber has woken up with a raging temp, she has had more meds (which she hates) we are settling her down down and I'm watching her like a hawk, thank you all for your concern. X
He's got a buttie in a box and some apple juice.

Thanks to everyone for helping me.

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