How do you rate?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by revmodes, Jun 6, 2011.

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  1. We are always asked to give 100% at work at play, sometimes we hear that 101% will be required for the task ahead, ok but how can an effort of over 100% be achieved?

    Using this formula we may be able to score ourselves or Arrsemates/workmates.

    A=1 B=2 C=3 D=4 E=5 F=6 G=7 H=8 I=9 J=10 K=11 L=12 M=13 N=14 O=15 P=16 Q=17 R=18 S=19 T=20 U=21 V=22 W=23 X=24 Y=26 Z=26

    So for instance i WORKHARD scoring 98%

    i have the KNOWLEDGE required to do my job scoring 96%

    so far so good on the annual report, but what about this guy/girl?

    Has a poor ATTITUDE scoring 100%

    A complete BULLSHITTER scoring 146%

    And of course there has to be an ARSEKISSER scoring 134%

    So describe and score yourself, using one word and the formula, or perhaps an arrsemate might spring to mind!
  3. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer


    Can't be arrsed do do the maths.
  4. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  5. I have no fucking idea what you're going on about. (Guess I'm scraping a C-/D+ then).

    What grips my shit though is the "giving 110%" bollocks.

    I'm a bit of a slacker, but on occasion I have dug deep and given my best effort and still never gave the maximum. How the fuck can anyone give 10% more than THE MAXIMUM? fucking annoying waffle. (Bit like my post really).;-)
  6. You can run without inhaling for over 100 metres, probably closer to 200 for top athletes. Running aerobically you are probably running at 60% but you can do this for a long time. I cant really remember the point I was trying to make, so I will paste a recent email that I liked.

    We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
    But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
    One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
    Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
    You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
    Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

    If the plural of man is always called men,
    Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
    If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
    And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
    If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
    Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

    Then one may be that, and three would be those,
    Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
    And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
    We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
    But though we say mother, we never say methren.
    Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
    But imagine the feminine:she, shis and shim!

    Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
    There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
    Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
    English muffins weren't invented in England .
    We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
    We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
    And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
    Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
    Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
    If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
    Get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
    If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
    Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
    Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

    In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
    We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
    We have noses that run and feet that smell.
    We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
    And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
    While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

    You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
    In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
    In which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
    In which an alarm goes off by going on.

    And in closing,

    If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?
  7. 3120% ?

    No Way.
  8. I was being subtle ;-)
  9. Seems it's worked ^_~
  10. I scored 172% but that was 2 words.

    Problem Solver -- but it sums up the abilities in my job.
  11. Problem maker more like
  12. You're a fucking cunt. All social workers are cunts and you're an ugly fucking cunts cunt.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Jarrod's is Thread Killer

  14. No darling. You are.

    You are absolutely hanging, and I am sorry. My dog does better shits than your face.

    I have never heard a good report about you, and that is coming from someone that is called a crackwhore and fat and minging by Stacker1.

    You are a liar.

    I fucking hate liars. I may tell fibs about being a fireman and all that mullarky, but you my sweet - you take this thing we call piss.

    You are truly disgusting.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Slugs:

    When you have a moment tell us how you really feel and don't hold back this time.
    • Like Like x 1