How do you raise a son?

Themanwho

LE
Book Reviewer
With reference to the thread. Son’s it seems, should at least try to defend themselves.
Sons, not Son's. HTH.

Defend themselves? Absolutely, daughters too. Both my kids learnt karate, just like they learned to swim. An important life skill.

Or are you talking about defending themselves against parents? "Trying to defend themselves" against a bigger and stronger parent is unlikely to end well.
 

Whining Civvy

War Hero
OP here. Knock it off with the handbags please, that's enough.

Just an update on progress: I mentioned up thread that I'd made an agreement with him to have a no smacking rule in the household which applies to us all, with the adults being able to apply a penalty to kids who smack and kids being able to do the same to adults. It's worked a charm, smacking has stopped all round, and both my daughter (5) and son (now 8 ) routinely reminding each other of the rule when things get heated. It's worked on me, too, there have been one or two occasions in the early days when I raised my hand as a reflex when angry and the sound of a frightened kid shouting to remember the rule pulled me up - I haven't smacked either of them since pretty much the beginning of this thread. These days I don't get the urge to give then a whack so I think that habit's been put aside for good. I don't know what impact it'll have on them but I feel like a better parent so I suppose that in itself is good.

I haven't been able to get him into either Scouts (no places and a waiting list longer than my arm) or what few martial arts there are around here (clashes with other activities at the moment) but soccer and swimming wear him out, and we've parked him in a junior strings ensemble, which gives him something a bit more cerebral to focus on. He's calmed right down, no tantrums, and I think his levels of boisterousness and unhandleability are down to that of a normal 8 year old. So we can call it a win.

The daughter, on the other hand...
 
Bikes, tend to become a center of discord, I showed my lad how to fix a puncture, telling him, I'm showing you this once, in future you can do this by yourself, and always do it the day before you actually need the bike to go to the park with your mates. Mum's, sometimes the soft touch, "can you fix his bike he needs it for....no, he knows how to fix it himself! He fixed it himself and went out to the park with his mates and had a good time.
 
Bikes, tend to become a center of discord, I showed my lad how to fix a puncture, telling him, I'm showing you this once, in future you can do this by yourself, and always do it the day before you actually need the bike to go to the park with your mates. Mum's, sometimes the soft touch, "can you fix his bike he needs it for....no, he knows how to fix it himself! He fixed it himself and went out to the park with his mates and had a good time.
...and felt just a little more confident.
 

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