How do you raise a son?

[alfred_the_great]

Boys do your house in.
Girls do your head in.

 

[LeoRoverman]

And then. one day, you hear those special words, "what time would you like picking up at the airport Dad?"

Yet to happen

 

[A signaller]

The wisest thing ever posted on Arrse.
Make the most of it while it's there. In a flash you'll go from being somebody's hero to being a human cashpoint machine, taxi driver, sayer of all things wrong that make any situation worse.....

I fully agree with what you say. but think on, several more years down the line, you will have the wonderful experience of grandchildren, and like me, once again be able to crawl about on all fours, while they swarm all over you, piggy backs, flying angles, rough and tumbles on the ;lawn with the lads, and manic football kickabouts on a warm summers day, leaving the mums and dads to shoot the breeze, drink your booze, and empty the fridge and larder, while you are on " Playground duty" and loving it. On the up side, at dark O'Clock, they all depart, leaving you and your old lady to clear up the mess, and i would not have it any other way. We are both looking forward to the lifting of restrictions, when once again, the ancestral family pile will again take on the mantle of the first battle of the Somme, as 8 grandchildren descend to visit their nana, and grumpy granddad....bring it on.

4 daughters. 2 sons. 8 grandchildren.

 

[Stainmaster]

I fully agree with what you say. but think on, several more years down the line, you will have the wonderful experience of grandchildren, and like me, once again be able to crawl about on all fours, while they swarm all over you, piggy backs, flying angles, rough and tumbles on the ;lawn with the lads, and manic football kickabouts on a warm summers day, leaving the mums and dads to shoot the breeze, drink your booze, and empty the fridge and larder, while you are on " Playground duty" and loving it. On the up side, at dark O'Clock, they all depart, leaving you and your old lady to clear up the mess, and i would not have it any other way. We are both looking forward to the lifting of restrictions, when once again, the ancestral family pile will again take on the mantle of the first battle of the Somme, as 8 grandchildren descend to visit their nana, and grumpy granddad....bring it on.

4 daughters. 2 sons. 8 grandchildren.

You're a lucky man, I pray that eventually that will come my way.

 

[A signaller]

You're a lucky man, I pray that eventually that will come my way.

It will, and quicker than you could ever begin to imagine.

 

[Stainmaster]

No girls here........Thank Feck.
A completely different dynamic, regardless of what the Marxists would have you believe about gender equality.

Agree. A daughter is the source of many of my woes.

 

[A signaller]

Agree. A daughter is the source of many of my woes.

Par for the course, try having 4, with all the aggro of boyfriends, stranded without cash 100 miles from home, broken down on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere, in a supermarket without enough cash, and can you come over and fix, this that and every dam thing that could conceivably go wrong. Oh, and at 2200hrs" Dad Dad the kitchen's flooded" Then you get plod phoning you" sorry to tell you that your daughter has been mugged" or a son walking in dripping wet, because he has been beaten up by a gang of yobs, and thrown in the cut, while in uniform on his way to air cadets*, and so it goes on until they all get married, or shack up and produce our beautiful grandchildren. Its at this point that it all makes sense, welcome to the wonderful world of parenting.

* The following day the senior officer of the squadron came to the house, he said that plod had been alerted, and that because our lad was in the queens uniform, if and when they catch up with the yobs, they can be charged with more than just common assault.

 

[Ecosse]

And then. one day, you hear those special words, "what time would you like picking up at the airport Dad?"

Reminds me of three years back landing Edinburgh from OZ, went there and back solo.
Called home to let them know I was landed, said I see them in a couple of hours, It's easy...tram to Haymarket, Haymarket to Falkirk...taxi Falkirk High.
Or so I thought.
"Himself" on mobile...but it was the tone as much as the words.
" Dont you move another ******* inch Faither, I'll be there in 30mins. Have a coffee. Stay put..period."
Mind you, that was after 11 years serving....boy to man.
I did what I was bid incidentally. He sounded too much like.....me.
He's also bigger 'n me. It was also the day I decided I'd done my job to a degree, and just don't annoy him if it's for my own benefit.

 

[Ecosse]

Neither SWMBO or I would have a kid or 3 now, if our clock got wound forward 40 years.
This world is turning into an utter crock of shit.

 

[A signaller]

Neither SWMBO or I would have a kid or 3 now, if our clock got wound forward 40 years.
This world is turning into an utter crock of shit.

More reason to produce the next generation to sort it out after we are all gone.

 

[Ecosse]

More reason to produce the next generation to sort it out after we are all gone.

Only a few big F off asteroids would sort out what I see needing fixed tbh.
In my opinion of course.......

 

[CutLunchCommando]

Neither SWMBO or I would have a kid or 3 now, if our clock got wound forward 40 years.
This world is turning into an utter crock of shit.

How do you think your parents felt?

 

[Ecosse]

How do you think your parents felt?

No idea. Social & family "values" have changed so much in 50 years.
Never truly got to "know" them. Vague ad-hoc memories of the pair of them.
Mother was a high demand concert pianist hardly home. father a grossly overworked GP...hardly saw him really.
Bit of a nasty cnut. Topped himself when I was 19. To, frankly, my relief for us both....him being sectioned in a mental home in Dumfries...and came out worse!
Had a live-in Nanny, expensive toys, and send-away school hollibags etc.
Posh us.....eh? She was ace.
I was actually largely content and happy...it's just the way it was.

 

[Señor_Chang]

Neither SWMBO or I would have a kid or 3 now, if our clock got wound forward 40 years.
This world is turning into an utter crock of shit.

Such is the way of the world. Human history is littered with upheaval and societal issues, that those generations thought would result in the end of civilisation etc.

Yes specific civilisations have fallen, but humans haven't. We adapt, we learn, then build arguably better afterwards.

It's just one big pendulum, which is currently sitting to one side of its arc, and it will swing back the other way at some point, with us all learning how to live at each point of that arc.

 

[Richard Headicus]

Such is the way of the world. Human history is littered with upheaval and societal issues, that those generations thought would result in the end of civilisation etc.

Yes specific civilisations have fallen, but humans haven't. We adapt, we learn, then build arguably better afterwards.

It's just one big pendulum, which is currently sitting to one side of its arc, and it will swing back the other way at some point, with us all learning how to live at each point of that arc.

I doubt it.

 

[CutLunchCommando]

No idea. Social & family "values" have changed so much in 50 years.
Never truly got to "know" them. Vague ad-hoc memories of the pair of them.
Mother was a high demand concert pianist hardly home. father a grossly overworked GP...hardly saw him really.
Bit of a nasty cnut. Topped himself when I was 19. To, frankly, my relief for us both....him being sectioned in a mental home in Dumfries...and came out worse!
Had a live-in Nanny, expensive toys, and send-away school hollibags etc.
Posh us.....eh? She was ace.
I was actually largely content and happy...it's just the way it was.

Had I known I would have phrased my response differently.

 

[Ecosse]

Had I known I would have phrased my response differently.

Absolutely no problem.

 

[Señor_Chang]

I doubt it.

Okay

 

[LeoRoverman]

and so it goes on until they all get married, or shack up and produce our beautiful grandchildren. Its at this point that it all makes sense, welcome to the wonderful world of parenting.

That made me roll up. Yeah, Face time has been a salvation for us over the recent lockdown. Our Youngest GC female of the species. four bless her heart. "I want to speak to Nana; you can go, dan dad the Girls want to speak." Makes you want to hug em and throttle them at the same. Nice to know you're always inconsequential until someone wants something

 

[Sarastro]

Now he isn't a *bad* kid, he's very confident, assertive and social and is popular with his peers (he's been voted class representative by his schoolmates and his teacher pairs him up with new kids in the class to show them the ropes) but this tendency is getting worse.

Only read half the thread so this may have been mentioned, but have you considered that there's a flip side to what you describe here.

You may think of the above as a positive thing, and certainly it can be. But it can also come with entitlement and a belief that he is better than others. The various stereotypes around popular bullies (not saying he is) exist for a reason: everyone around them reinforces the idea that they are special by liking them, and it's easy for that to turn into lack of respect for others. If people treat you as if you are better, by definition others must be worse.

Given that you are describing a sense of entitlement in him, it's worth considering.

I'd also consider, as others mentioned, that the nature of 2020 and lockdowns means that it's unsafe to compare this behaviour to pre-lockdown standards. We simply don't know what the baseline should be under extended periods of enforced isolation. It may well be a major cause or aggravating factor. Example: a friend has a toddler who, in the usual checkups, they were concerned that he wasn't meeting development targets. After a bit of prodding, they noted that actually most of the children they were seeing this year weren't meeting development targets.