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How do you raise a son?

Ours started to get his wanna-be Alpha Male horns out at 7.
Tried stripping bedroom of game stuff etc. Fail.
Mum tried grounding. Fail. I tried all I knew my Papa did to me. Fail.
TKD fixed it though.
Getting bruised & generally flattened at his 1st tournament was a bit of a wince to watch.
Many a bloody nose & bruised shins etc but somehow...he usually walked away with a medal.
I think the usual cliche phrase is character building.
Black Belt at 14. Ended up coaching summer school kids basketball when he was till a Secondary Pupil.
His ( teacher) Mum always knew he was born to teach, now after 12 years Service...he's teaching cops.
Still a dour SOB though but we get instant respect when he visits.
Overheard at Police HQ canteen a few weeks back by a recruit.." Does Training Staff ********* every actually smile?"
Reply...so we are reliably informed.
" No...X Forces...hard to impress."
Would not want another son any different tbh. Top bloke...but a tight fisted git!;)
Love the guy to bits....we have nurtured special chemistry which only really developed when he left the Army.
Sneaky big bugger checks up on us when he thinks we don't notice.

They do eventually come back to us.
It's the bit in the middle which sucks.

Edit;
Looking back, his class "mates"..around a half dozen were broken home/ failed marriage single parent homes...every one of them bar one and were nasty feral little feckers. Peer group chips on shoulders?
My boy went to Judo, tried TKD (his mother took him there as it was round the corner from her flat, but he wanted to make contact so they binned him...) but Judo worked. I'd tried to give him a bit of grounding (I did JiuJitsu in my younger days) but being thrown onto his back by a six year old girl half his size was what did it.

I distinctly remember the look on his face when he got up, part pure rage and part shame. But the instructor sat him down and explained things to him, he listened and learned.

Judo gave an autistic boy a set of rules and codes that stays with him to this day. He's now getting into rugby - again, the rules and code of ethics is what appeals.
 
Not unless it went very wrong. O = major (ie. reaping using major back part of leg), uchi = inner (your leg going inside theirs) gari = reap (although it often translated to a ******* nasty kick).


Sounds like you're thinking of uchi mata (if you're lifting the outside leg) or some variation of harai goshi (if you're taking the weight bearing leg)
That's the one. I got the ouch in the wrong throw. I was lucky when it was used on me. It was done properly!
 
Take a look at diet: one of mine, at that age, was a real shit with tantrums etc. Then I read something about the potential ill effects of some E numbers, common in cartons of orange juice - this was in the late 80s. At the time, he drank tons of the stuff, so that was replaced by water or milk. Within days, his whole behaviour has changed for the better. We gave it six weeks, then gave him a glass of orange juice as a control. Literally within minutes, he was revved up and practically running around the walls! Orange juice was removed from the shopping list.
There's a lot of truth in the above, especially regarding sugars & diet. They say there's 9 teaspoons of sugar in a can of coke/pepsi. If they go the shop with their pocket money and get a coke, a mars bar & packet of crisp they'd probably be able to tell an Ethiopian marathon runner to go xxxx himself and then out-pace him in the chase. :)
 
There's a lot of truth in the above, especially regarding sugars & diet. They say there's 9 teaspoons of sugar in a can of coke/pepsi. If they go the shop with their pocket money and get a coke, a mars bar & packet of crisp they'd probably be able to tell an Ethiopian marathon runner to go xxxx himself and then out-pace him in the chase. :)
You really don't want to look at, well you should look at it but it will shock you, the amount of sugar in everyday food items. I looked at a mini-can of tonic water once, seven freakin' teaspoons of sugar!

I just thought with a queasy feeling about actually swallowing seven spoonfuls of sugar in half an hour and yet that's what I was putting away with a couple of G&Ts. My old mother, God rest her, always ordered a large gin and tonic, no ice, no lemon and go easy on the tonic, she had a point, the gin is the least unhealthy part of the drink.
 
Judo gave an autistic boy a set of rules and codes that stays with him to this day. He's now getting into rugby - again, the rules and code of ethics is what appeals.
A young lad turned up to the adult class; 16 years old, 6'4", about 80kg (same weight as me), kept getting paired with me because I'm the adult male lightweight (all the other blokes are about 100kg or more). After a couple of weeks, he mentions that he's got Aspergers, not that it's slowed him down. Very (very) occasionally, he gets frustrated in randori if something won't work, at which point I hang on and am glad that I've got good core strength and basic skills in treacherycunning, courtesy of the occasional PTI... but as I said, he's a decent kid. Whether it's the sport, or the club, the environment is well-suited to him.

Two years later, he's going for his blue belt, he's now 100kg of solid muscle, his core strength has finally arrived, and I've gone from "see if I can try out that technique on him" to "f***ing hell, that was close / nope, he's got me there". He's got a sport where he can mix with others (about half of our juniors his age have been Scottish champion at some point) even if he's not as technically good as them, and he can train as hard as any.

I'm looking forward to the end of the lockdown restrictions, because I really enjoy Judo. The instructors run a good session and a decent safety brief, the members are really good (it's mostly kids, there's only a few adults), and I don't need to worry (too much) about being injured. There's very much a culture of "if you're good enough, you're old enough" - so being taught by someone a third my age is fine by me. We're also insanely lucky in the quality of the senior instructors; an Olympian, a Commonwealth medallist, and someone who's been teaching it for over fifty years...
 
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What grade is the guy who has done it over 50 years? Is it Brian Jacks, or Neil Adams? He must be about an 8th Dan.
He's just made 6th Dan - he never bothered with the paperwork, because that wasn't why he did it; so he'd sat at 5th Dan for decades. The club (and his wife) sorted it out without telling him. Last Christmas, at the club Christmas Dinner, he got surprised with his red-and-white striped belt (granted, he'd been wondering why an 8th? Dan had turned up for the meal, then he found out...).

The club's 50th anniversary a while back was interesting; the boys (who were eight and ten, I think) took us along as their plus-ones and taxi drivers. You suddenly realise that there were a lot of serious judoka there to celebrate it (Edinburgh and the Lothians are a bit of a Judo centre of mass); there's a 10th Dan, there's a World Champion, there's an Olympic Silver Medallist, more Commonwealth medallists than you can shake a stick at - all there for pie and stovies at the Miners' Welfare Club...
 
Even o soto gari (probably the simplest technique) with a quick step through and hand in face puts uke on the floor with a bit of a headache. Frankly anything more complicated than that or o uchi gari seemed too complicated.
True, but both those throws rely on you persuading your oppponent to go backwards. Tripping them up as they're moving forwards is a useful trick...

Watching firstborn at age 9 on a rugby pitch was fun; "Oy... did you just tai-otoshi that lad twice your size?"
 
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