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How do you raise a daughter

Everything I said in the raising a son thread applies for lasses. In my experience the difference between boys and girls comes down to a few things (massive stereotyping ahead but it's borne out of experience):

Girls bear grudges. Boys can have a fight one day with a bit of bruising and blood and can then be mates two days later. Girls will continue a vendetta for months or years over relatively trivial matters.

Girls love drama. Similar to the above point, two boys will have a bit of a scrap and all of their mates will be there chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" but then move on the next day. Girls will continue to niggle and bitch about things that happened weeks ago in the hope of causing more drama to gossip about.

Girls fight dirty. There seems to be an accepted code for most boy fights that consists of "Punch anything you want, no kicks above the waist, headlocks and taking things to the floor are acceptable". Girls are evil, last time it kicked off (not in my room but next door) we were sweeping up chunks of hair and false nails they had ripped off each other.

Girls are much more prone to being anxious about anything and everything. They tend, either by accident or design, to surround themselves with similar types. The bright, level headed girls tend to hang around with others like that and are 'normal'. The drama queens find other drama queens, the rude bitches find other rude bitches etc. The only similar characteristic is a general lack of backbone and willingness to excuse themselves from anything as they are too 'anxious'.

Teenage girls fixate on their appearance to a level most people wouldn't believe. I don't blame them for that, social media is a major part in the demand to look 'perfect'. Boys are 'allowed' to be a bit rough and dirty, girls feel they can't be. Apparently a major bullying issue last year was girls having pubes in PE changing rooms. Not the old 'laughing at the weird kid who still doesn't have pubes at 15' but actively bullying girls who didn't shave everything off. It's a weird world.

Treat them like little adults, admit when you **** up, enforce rules rigidly but fairly and you won't go too far wrong in my experience. Most importantly, for the love of god stop them sending nude pictures to anyone. Have that conversation early and often. It's a lot more widespread than anyone imagines and if they do suck off an unpleasant little oik that only happens the once. Sending naked pictures of themselves, apart from legally being the distribution of child pornography, never goes away and ruins lives on a frequent basis as the pictures that were 'just for her boyfriend' somehow get shared around the entire school when she breaks up with him.
And don't forget, it is likely that the girls will pick your care home one day.
 
And don't forget, it is likely that the girls will pick your care home one day.


My youngest is a staff nurse in a dementia and Alzheimer hospital, and has on many occasions threatened to have me sectioned and committed, when she has found out i have been winding up Mrs Sig, or one of her sisters, all said in jest, with an undercurrent of real intent.
 
My youngest is a staff nurse in a dementia and Alzheimer hospital, and has on many occasions threatened to have me sectioned and committed, when she has found out i have been winding up Mrs Sig, or one of her sisters, all said in jest, with an undercurrent of real intent.
I have two daughters. No 1 has a fantastic personality, she is pretty and she can be fun.............but she can also be an absolute bitch.
No 2......................she is just a bitch.
 

endure

GCM
chas.jpg
 

giatttt

Old-Salt
boy, girl, girl - treated them all the same, all went to rugby with me, all went to mini rugby, all continued to play rugby into adulthood, the girls regularly appeared on the telly playing rugby. Used to take them into the drill hall on a Sunday morning after range days and they would help clean rifles in exchange for the promise of brunch. Helped me with DIY, and all went off to university with a toolbox and knew how to use it. Tried to be honest and supportive when things went wrong, praise them when it went right.

Downside is that they believe I have similar powers to Mr Wolf and have brought me some jaw dropping WTFs to sort out over the years.
 
Oh mate, i would be hot footin to the nearest gun shop, pronto.
Oh, I'm well armed.
Bacon too!

"Dad, would you meet him?"
"Of course I would Sweetness.
I'm eager to discuss his thoughts on his religions' subjugation of women, religious tolerance and the imposition of Sharia law on the Infidel."

Coincidentally there are two farmer's daughters in this Parish who have married Muslim fellas, all highly intelligent and successful in their chosen careers...
Both marriages have ended badly, the same mo....
Wifey's for producing babies, lots of em.
Meanwhile their 'entertainment' is kept in a luxurious apartment not a long way from the matrimonial home...
I quote my East Lancs farming mate to her...

"They're not like us, they're not wired up reet"
 
I had two boys first, then the girl came along. I don't know why but at first I kind of failed to bond with her, certainly not in the way I did with the lads.

Looking back I think I feared setting myself up for failure, I got it in my head that I would be a lousy father to a little girl, that I could never meet her demanding standards, no idea where this stuff came from but it was there. Until one day we were all playing in the back garden when she was maybe three and for whatever reason she and I were left alone and she was delighted to have my full attention.

At that point it hit me like a load of bricks had been dropped on me, that even if I did end up being the worst parent ever, even if my subconscious was correct and I did turn out to be an utter failure, I was still the only Dad she had, and for better or for worse I just needed to step up and get on with it, before her childhood was over and she only had memories of a distant and rather odd father. It sounds so stupidly obvious now but it really was a revelation to me.

From then on things changed and then we became inseparable, wherever I went she came too, a trip to the shop to pick up bread and milk, she had to come along, just taking the car to the car wash, she'd drop whatever she was doing and hop in the car. I even overheard the boys one day telling her to ask me to do something "you ask him, you're his favourite, he'll agree for you", which certainly gave me pause for thought and maybe make some readjustments, but it wasn't said by the boys in a bad way, they actually thought it was funny.

Now she's 13, and now she isn't so bothered about me anymore, she and the boys get on like a house on fire, they are mega-competitive on the PS4, she beats them frequently. They share the same love of anime and Star Wars and all that stuff. Now I pick up the car keys and say I need to pop down to the supermarket, does anyone want to come along? "Not now Dad, I am beating him and I just need to get to the next level, bring us back some drinks and crisps, yeah", said with eyes fixed on the screen and a dismissive wave behind her head.

I am delighted for her, it's great to see her all grown up, so confident and so at ease, able to give as good as she gets with her older brothers.

Honest I am, really happy (sniff).
 
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It's only necessary to convince them that you have superhuman powers.

By way of example, a conversation that we had when she was 4:

Her: D...
Me: Daddy
<pause>
Her: D...
Me: Daddy
<pause>
Her: I...
Me: ...would like to say to you
<pause>
Her: How do you know what I'm going to say?
Me: Because I'm your Daddy and it's my job to be able to read your mind.

She's 30 now and I can still read her mind. And she knows it.
 

Cyberhacker

Old-Salt
Apparently my folks thought about sending me to a boarding school when I was due to go to Secondary - I didn't find this out until I was much older - I so wish they'd had.
I can fully sympathise with your story... that was me, up to aged 12 - my old man then got a posting to Germany, with a return date of Easter of my 'O' level year. Not a great time to be changing schools.

So, with the benefit of the Assisted Places Scheme (which Blair scrapped in the interests of "fairness"???????) I went to Boarding School, then the first member of my extended family onto university and the rest, as they say, is history
 
My wife is due our first baby soon.

I'm terrified it will be a girl and she'll grow up and date someone like me. 8O
 

anglo

LE
I can't give you any advice, the world as moved on a great deal since my children were young,
I can tell you the battles I fought and lost with my three daughters and one son,
We lived near the Kruger park in SA, and the kids loved the place,
I would come home from work, and the girls would bring me a beer and a
bowl of peanuts, then they would make a big fuss of me all evening,
the next night the same, except at some stage they would disappear to the kitchen,
The youngest would come out and climb up and sit on my lap,
then I would hear,
"Daddy, Daddy would you take us to the Kwuger park, Pleeeese Daddy
Would you say NO, if this face was looking up at you?

vsd001.jpg
 
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And don't forget, it is likely that the girls will pick your care home one day.
My daughter (42) said that to me last year

Wasn't laughing when I answered "equity release"
 

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