Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

How do you raise a daughter

Hairy-boab

Clanker
My observation with two daughters- the greatest challenge to girl's expectations, their place in society and careers? Other women.

From the age of 5, the peer pressure starts. Pressure to be gentle, pretty and to like girly things. Absolutely enforced by a majority of mothers, female teachers etc. Fifteen years later though, it is just men's fault!
 
Mega!

Father to two girls. 15 and 8 years old.

I was going to reply to the raising a son thread, but I literally don’t get two seconds to myself these days. Can’t even go for a dump in peace.

We all live together in a mad house. Me and 3 x females.

I don’t have a life.

I’ll write a proper reply tomorrow when I get a chance.

Cünts have had me running around all day. Every day is the same.

Hairdryers, fake tan, fighting over the bathroom mirror, shite music, shite tv programmes, hormones, periods in sync, general dad taxi driver duties 24/7, stupid questions constantly about switching TV or the heating on, constantly having the heating on, always fcuking cold etc

Fcuk my life.


Having raised 4 daughters and 2 sons, now all with family's of their own i can say with some authority that it was somewhat of a struggle. My only great worry was the slack jawed knuckle dragging spotty faced reversed hatted mongoloids that came sniffing around, as the girls hit their teens. 4 girls in the house always seemed to be involved in one secret conspiracy or another , with mum as their leader, I and my 2 lads were not privy to their secrets, which manifested themselves on high days and holidays.

It was the girls that plotted and planned the Christmas meal, and the presents for dad and the lads, in return i was expected to be an on call taxi, and supplier of all electrical hair and beauty products throughout the coming year.

Girls need a shoulder to cry on, when boyfriends dump them, girls need a hug from dad when they have a bad day at work, and as small kids, the girls always liked to swarm over dad when he was having a doze on the sofa.

Girls need the instruction of their mother, and ours took great delight in helping prepare the weekend Sunday roast. They need leadership in the running of a household, and how it functions and evolves. Girls need on occasion to be left alone in their rooms to do their own thing, even thought the room will morph into something like a junkyard swamp, its their territory, stay out.

Girls need to know that mum and dad will back them up, whatever they do, and their choice of apparel may be on occasions highly suspect, and somewhat skimpy, you must never condemn outright, just be diplomatic, and suggest a little bit of adjustment. The same with the slap and war paint, be constructive, even though they have embraced the goth look 100 %.

As school girls, they will come home with certificates for good work Etc, praise and make a fuss of them, ours were clip framed and hung up in their rooms. conversely, when they kick over the traces, don't be afraid to chastise and punish in equal measure, but always with a few words of encouragement to put them back on the straight and narrow.

All in all it will be a struggle, and on occasions you will feel like murdering the little sods, like when they were very small, flooding the bathroom, with water coming down through the ceiling and into the kitchen. When they got older, reversing their car into my garage door. All these thing are part and parcel of growing up.

With a big family like ours, the girls became their own self help community, mum and dad were out the loop when a female type crisis arose, they sorted it out for themselves, we were there purely as financial back up.

Its dads job to oversee the running of the household, that means going round after them, switching off the lights, The TV in their rooms, closing doors, Opening windows in summer, and closing them in winter. Mums jobs were shared by me and the 2 eldest girls as my old lady is not in the best of health after having a stroke a few years ago, and so 4 girls in the house was a godsend, which advanced their "Running a household" experience in leaps and bounds.

By the time they all left to start the rest of their lives, all were conversant in all aspects of household management, and the pitfalls of rearing and raising a family, and now we have 8 healthy grandchildren to carry on the family name, and the two lads, they helped dad in his workshop, and when small came on site at weekends, protected the girls when required, and helped them with choosing their first car.

My job, to provide a roof over their heads, feed cloth instruct comfort and protect them, pamper and cuddle them, and be there when needed, no more no less.......... Endex Endex
 
Last edited:

WALT

LE
You buggers aren't making me look forward to my future. One daughter, almost 3 years. When the spotty youths start coming around I think I will be mostly found polishing my firearms, one eyebrow raised à la Roger Moore, "So, you want to jump my daughter, do you?"
 
You buggers aren't making me look forward to my future. One daughter, almost 3 years. When the spotty youths start coming around I think I will be mostly found polishing my firearms, one eyebrow raised à la Roger Moore, "So, you want to jump my daughter, do you?"

Preemptive strike is always educational for the whiny green haired snot miners who come sniffing round, and good fun for you.
 
even thought the room will morph into something like a junkyard swamp,
^ ^ that!! ^ ^

Especially the bright, sensible, mature beyond her years one. It’s what the word “foetid” was invented for.
 
Last edited:

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
When my daughter was born I thought the spawn of Lucifer had landed in my life.

For the first 2 years of her life she just screamed constantly. The only way to get a bit of respite was to go for a long drive so she’d sleep. Couldn’t get her off the tit, I had to cut the wife’s meals up for her so she could eat them with one hand and hold the sprog with the other.

The boy on the other hand was an angel. Slept through the night from about 2 weeks old and would just chill.

I don’t know what changed but she’s a proper Daddy’s girl now. She’s my little wingman and is interested in everything I do.

I had visions of me and the boy building a kit car one day and doing man stuff like climbing mountains and what not, but I think it’s more likely that the little lady will want to do things like that.

She’s not a tom boy by any means but just seems to be much more in to being outdoors, while the boy is happy to watch videos on YouTube and play computer games.

She’s only 8 but is already coming home saying things like “this boy at school said I was cute today.”

It’s ok, I already own quite a few shotguns.
 
You buggers aren't making me look forward to my future. One daughter, almost 3 years. When the spotty youths start coming around I think I will be mostly found polishing my firearms, one eyebrow raised à la Roger Moore, "So, you want to jump my daughter, do you?"
“What exactly are your intentions towards my daughter, young man?”
“Nothing Mr PCD, we’re just good friends, we like to hang out, nothing like that honest!”*
“LIAR!! I can still remember being 15, I know exactly what you want to do to my daughter, remember I have guns....”

Never happened though. Those few lads there have been she has steadfastly refused to bring home.

*scared teenage boy voice
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
Up until the teenage years, dad's job is to provide money, security, transport and law and order. After that, and if one doesn't push it, providing wise counsel is added to the list, which is nice.

One other thing I have been punctilious about has been to take the p1ss out of them mercilessly during their formative years so that they can take it and dish it out without bursting into tears. This makes them fun conversationalists and interesting human beings but the downside is that it becomes harder to sustain the patriarchy on which civilised living depends, plus their resilience to toxic masculinity makes them very popular with the boys.

Generally, it seems that dads do the heavy lifting with boys and mum does the heavy lifting with girls. As the father of two girls, this works for me and means that their mum has generally done a very good job.
 
What you have to realise and that it is impossible to fight is that you do not raise a daughter but by subtle and careful training in skills secretly passed down by her mother it is the daughter who will raise / change you .
As I have posted many times on this forum when her head goes on one side , the eyes open a little wider and the voice goes up a pitch and the dreaded " Daaaaad could i have ..... " starts a request however ridiculous , impossible or expensive you will be like putty in her hands ... I speak from experience ... it is not unenjoyable . One strangely inexpensive example . My daughter when about six or seven years old came out with this simple request " Daaaad can I join the American Army where girls can use guns ? " before I could fully answer I noticed she was thinking and then she came out with this corker " Daaaaad how will I be able to get back home each night to go to bed ? " .... the subject was ended .
 
Last edited:

anglo

LE
Having raised 4 daughters and 2 sons, now all with family's of their own i can say with some authority that it was somewhat of a struggle. My only great worry was the slack jawed knuckle dragging spotty faced reversed hatted mongoloids that came sniffing around, as the girls hit their teens. 4 girls in the house always seemed to be involved in one secret conspiracy or another , with mum as their leader, I and my 2 lads were not privy to their secrets, which manifested themselves on high days and holidays.

It was the girls that plotted and planned the Christmas meal, and the presents for dad and the lads, in return i was expected to be an on call taxi, and supplier of all electrical hair and beauty products throughout the coming year.

Girls need a shoulder to cry on, when boyfriends dump them, girls need a hug from dad when they have a bad day at work, and as small kids, the girls always liked to swarm over dad when he was having a doze on the sofa.

Girls need the instruction of their mother, and ours took great delight in helping prepare the weekend Sunday roast. They need leadership in the running of a household, and how it functions and evolves. Girls need on occasion to be left alone in their rooms to do their own thing, even thought the room will morph into something like a junkyard swamp, its their territory, stay out.

Girls need to know that mum and dad will back them up, whatever they do, and their choice of apparel may be on occasions highly suspect, and somewhat skimpy, you must never condemn outright, just be diplomatic, and suggest a little bit of adjustment. The same with the slap and war paint, be constructive, even though they have embraced the goth look 100 %.

As school girls, they will come home with certificates for good work Etc, praise and make a fuss of them, ours were clip framed and hung up in their rooms. conversely, when they kick over the traces, don't be afraid to chastise and punish in equal measure, but always with a few words of encouragement to put them back on the straight and narrow.

All in all it will be a struggle, and on occasions you will feel like murdering the little sods, like when they were very small, flooding the bathroom, with water coming down through the ceiling and into the kitchen. When they got older, reversing their car into my garage door. All these thing are part and parcel of growing up.

With a big family like ours, the girls became their own self help community, mum and dad were out the loop when a female type crisis arose, they sorted it out for themselves, we were there purely as financial back up.

Its dads job to oversee the running of the household, that means going round after them, switching off the lights, The TV in their rooms, closing doors, Opening windows in summer, and closing them in winter. Mums jobs were shared by me and the 2 eldest girls as my old lady is not in the best of health after having a stroke a few years ago, and so 4 girls in the house was a godsend, which advanced their "Running a household" experience in leaps and bounds.

By the time they all left to start the rest of their lives, all were conversant in all aspects of household management, and the pitfalls of rearing and raising a family, and now we have 8 healthy grandchildren to carry on the family name, and the two lads, they helped dad in his workshop, and when small came on site at weekends, protected the girls when required, and helped them with choosing their first car.

My job, to provide a roof over their heads, feed cloth instruct comfort and protect them, pamper and cuddle them, and be there when needed, no more no less.......... Endex Endex
Good post, I can't add much to that.
 
You buggers aren't making me look forward to my future. One daughter, almost 3 years. When the spotty youths start coming around I think I will be mostly found polishing my firearms, one eyebrow raised à la Roger Moore, "So, you want to jump my daughter, do you?"
My plan for when they hit puberty was we were going to move to St Kilda and live off puffins. Unfortunatly the Mehimsahib told me they would just build a boat.
Bugger.!
 
Im told the trick is to shake them firmly by the hand, look them in the eye and say. “ is that the hand you are planning to finger my daughter with ?”.
 
At last, summat I'm 'Expert' in ......

Three daughters .. 21/ 16 / 4
Three stepdaughters 20/16/12........

One Aggressive and hateful ex Missus ( Mother of two eldest)
One increasing Loopy 'other half' .(Mother of the rest).soon to be ex I suspect.
Thing is, they ALL end up here in times of crisis/ celebration ( there's been plenty of both)....

I've just provided a 'safe haven' where they all know they can turn up anytime anyhow and they'll be safe and can talk about owt, without being bollocked, and somehow "We'll sort it out."

Boys , drugs and booze only cause as much angst as makeup ,clothes and education....

" Dont do drugs, dont give it away " is the only advice I've imparted to them (five of em anyway) ... "and you clean your own sick up in the morning, hangovers make it so much more effective."
(The most devious/delightful one figured out if she let the dog in the room for five minutes, there was less to clean up!! She'll go far, she's voted the one to have most marriages/ divorces/ kids/ wealth ...I tell her I hope I live long enough to watch her reach 40, she might've got half sorted by then.)
She was also the practical, sensible one who aged 12 engineered her Mother to do a 'last minute shop' so she could sneak her barely 16 yr old sister to Sainsburys pharmacy for the morning after pill, cos some spotty oik had taken advantage of her hormonal but naive attempts of a fumble that might've got a bit too much out of hand....
Stepdad me was the ONLY one who they'd 'fess up to a month later when the oik needed running out of Dodge, Mother probably would've done him before knocking seven shades out of them....( Mums' not always a girls best friend)
Eldest has travelled the World modelling and done the Film/Pop Stars, yachts, villas and nightclub stuff, she's a level headed country kid to start with, her stories have helped dispel the 'glamour'of the Glamour Industry, only one , the 16 yr old stepsister is impressed with those Love Island shenanigans...she's also the most 'spirited' but her sisters keep her straight, they're their own bitchy,stroppy, joyous ,delightful, self contained support unit......
They'll slag each other off..
"I hate xyz cos she's nicked my clothes/ hair straighteners..."
But watch the reaction if one of em's been crossed....they'll tear anyone limb from limb to protect each other, right or wrong, it doesn't matter The Sisterhood prevails above all else.
I more proud of that than owt else.

ETA.
I started typing this at 21.00 last night, but ended up Social working/ Confidant to two of em having a crisis at Uni / their Dad's , and Evil Stepmother/ Loopy Mother ...

"Can we all come to yours for Xmas? Mum wont be there will she?".....

There's a tshirt slogan thingy they bought me a while back..
'I've got daughters, a shotgun and a shovel'

I point out I've got as many shotguns as daughters, a Komatsu digger, and plenty of hiding places.
#1 madly in love with a Muslim bloke ten years older than her living in Cape Town....
#2 has an Irish Guardsman sniffing around at present...
I've not had the pleasure yet, Xmas might be more than interesting if they unlock us!

Give em space, love and a shoulder to cry on in equal measures, bite your tongue when they're making mistakes, and listen without saying owt when they eventually unload...What stresses a teenage girl out can be both laughable and downright scary, but if you're not trusted enough to be told, how the Hell will you ever be able to do owt about owt?
Often it's a brew or a phonecall, and half an hour of tears/rage, rant/ waffle, as long as you can ending it by raising a smile you've succeeded in your mission.

Oh, and once they hit 17, you have to know everything about cars, and "why they wont go" even if they're in a different bloody hemisphere!
Gotta admit, a frantic phonecall from same daughter last week
" Dad, I need to understand about torque curves, I cant get my head around it" was a tad surreal,
I was ready to commiserate about her having to be out at 5am four days a week with severely blistered hands cos she's been selected for the Uni. Rowing squad...
Oh, and " Can you get a 20 bore, I've joined the clay club, but nothing fits me"
"And dont you dare say owt to ##### when she calls round this weekend, a boy's given her a hickey at college and she's avoiding both her Dad (who she lives with) and Mum" who lives by me.
You haven't a clue what's coming next when the phone rings......

Wouldn't change a single thing.

Did I mention I've also got 'The Lad' in a caravan on the yard?
He's 19 too, worked here for four years before leaving, to better himself, from a broken home living with Mum and three sisters, a good kid, who fits in with the rest of em, he's just become a Dad ( hmm,) so ended up back here, he's learned alot about wimmin in the last twelve months too....


Saves me having to buy a TV licence!
 
I remember reading something somewhere and I would be interested in your take on it. It was a report on some hugely expensive scheme designed to help under-achieving kids in low-income areas, all very high-minded and commendable for sure, but at the end of it, the frank conclusion was that it hadn't made the slightest bit of difference.

A teacher explained that all the government money in the world won't make a blind bit of difference if there is one key element missing, the parent(s).

He said that any teacher can tell within thirty seconds of a parent/teacher meeting which kid will survive school and which won't and it has nothing to do with ability, intelligence, money, or anything else, it's the parents. Do they show up for the meeting and when they are there do they look like they give a shit? If the parent or parents are there, asking questions, showing concern and interest, the kid will be fine, they might not turn out Albert Einstein but they will get as much out of the education system as they can and they will go on to have a decent chance at life, if the parents don't give a shit, they won't.

Is that too simplistic an analysis from your point of you, granted of course that you would always still welcome a bit more money for the education system?
Sounds pretty much right. There are exceptions but most kids follow a depressingly familiar path.
 

NSP

LE
How do you raise a daughter?
By merely worrying about every penis instead of having to worry about just one of them.

whistling.gif
 
Both of those examples uttered/thought while thinking what you were like yourself at the same age.
Totally.
Late 60's early 70's for me and my 4 mates ( we managed a big Glasgow "disco" called Joanna's if anyone here recalls it) gave us access to Monday "Nurse Night..cheap tickets" and more besides.
It was...fun..but I was always "careful";)

Edit:
That's where I met the current SWMBO...well she's been current for 46 years, She never got pissed, always left with her mate...and was/ is still drop dead bloody gorgeous. Actually, she picked me up more than anything. Luck really....for me.
How could I refuse? Rude:oops:

Often thought...if it was me raising girls...it'd be be me on the Ritalin not any of them!
 
Last edited:
Are you sure you've never left your computer on showing Arrse while your little cherub of a granddaughter was around?

Being innocent of the charge but under heavy suspicion by herself, the last thing I need is you adding fuel to that fire.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Keeping open lines of communication.

Letting them go out but always being on the end of the phone if they need to come home early because they are too pished (aged 15 and upwards)

Teaching them self discipline and that sports are important.

Taking them to rugby training.

Supporting them when they need it and generally just being there.

FF, father of 31, 26 and 7 Year old lasses (and lad 23)
 
My daughter walked into the living room and said,
"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of
the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.
Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.
Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.
Then disown me and never talk to me again.
And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.”

Well, she didn't actually put it quite like that... she actually said...

"Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed."
 
My daughter walked into the living room and said,
"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of
the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.
Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.
Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.
Then disown me and never talk to me again.
And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.”

Well, she didn't actually put it quite like that... she actually said...

"Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed."


That's a joke, isn't it?
 

Latest Threads

Top