How do you raise a daughter

I moved schools at eight years old - not just schools but education and social systems, we moved from The Kingdom of Yorkshire to Lancashire - with all the rivalry that you'd expect. For at least a couple of years it set me back educationally (ended up in the 'remedial class' for a few months due to having no knowledge of 'ITA') and socially, had a lot of fights and became very introverted. It took me a long time to stop blaming my parents for moving, especially as it was only a year after my Grandad died - who I still wish I had more time with, he was a gamekeeper and taught me a lot.

..... anyway, girls - can't really help, but good luck!
I got taught that, who on earth thought it was a good idea?
 
When little miss WB turned 2 she had the attitude of a 16 year old and she still has it 15 years later.
I have been lucky as in her words "I'm a tough not a fluffy" she has never been into the standard music stuff expected of a teenage girl and only occasionally wears make-up and never applied by JCB.
She is happy digging out and during house renovations was quite happy teaching a brick wall a few things with a sledge hammer.
Now standing at 5"8 she is quite tall and on the hockey pitch is quite intimidating.

She still needs her dad and as I said on the son thread let them know you love them but maintain standards as girls will try and twist you around their fingers.
 
I have one of each, my lad is 14 and my daughter just turned 16. Thankfully she is bright, happy and 'normal'.
She is also quite a talented artist and as long as I keep her supplied with pens, felt tips (good ones), paints etc. she is happy. She is also, at long last (after ignoring my advice for a long time) really into computer generated art.
I can't give any advice on how to cope with troublesome kids (apart from the usual sibling rivelry) as so far I haven't had any big problems.
One thing I do think that has helped is to instil into her how to think i.e. if she hears/sees something on the news or internet how to analyse the information she is being given.
 
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She still needs her dad and as I said on the son thread let them know you love them but maintain standards as girls will try and twist you around their fingers.
Totally agree, but with a modification.
They won’t ‘try’ to twist you around their fingers, they will do it. They can’t help it, it’s innate.
Don’t forget , young daughters are just apprentice women and wives.
Treat them with that in mind!
In that respect, do not, though, heed the advice of of Lord Flasheart: that would lead to trouble with the authorities.
 
In that respect, do not, though, heed the advice of of Lord Flasheart: that would lead to trouble with the authorities.
There lies the problem.
Son comes in pished at 1am....Dad: Where have YOU been?
Son.
Ha! Where have I NOT been?
Dad: That's my boy.:D

Daughter:
" Ha! Where have I NOT been?"
Dad: :mad:
"Morning after pill for you, The Clinic, zero allowance 1 month...and who is the knunit and where's your skirt & knickers?
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
I think any parent asking for advice on how to be a parent is, by definition, doing a pretty good job as they care about their offspring.

All of the feral little cnuts I would have happily put down for the benefit of society (anyone got a captive bolt pistol?) had a parent(s) who genuinely didn't give a **** and would have sold said child for a packet of fags if they didn't bring in money each week in benefits.

I don't blame those kids any more than I blame untrained dogs, it's the fault of the owner. Doesn't stop the dog being put down when it bites someone though.
 
There lies the problem.
Son comes in pished at 1am....Dad: Where have YOU been?
Son.
Ha! Where have I NOT been?
Dad: That's my boy.:D

Daughter:
" Ha! Where have I NOT been?"
Dad: :mad:
"Morning after pill for you, The Clinic, zero allowance 1 month...and who is the knunit and where's your skirt & knickers?
Both of those examples uttered/thought while thinking what you were like yourself at the same age.
 

kimmi851

War Hero
I actually did give advice on the other thread despite mine being a girl type, since ideally they are pretty much the same.

The main thing specific to raising girls is to review how you would talk to a boy and compare it honestly in your head. I have noticed that most girls are praised for empathy and beauty whilst boys are praised for ambition and strength. Why are girls not encouraged to look beyond being nice, pretty and self sacrificing? Frankly my daughter is praised for the same things I would praise a boy for - academic achievement, sports achievement (sadly she inherited the family sports ability which means the only things she excels at are also deadly - but she does her best with tennis, netball, hockey, rowing and sailing, even though her specialities are TKD, boxing, archery and rifle shooting), and the majority of praise goes for exceeding her own abilities - being picked for a team, for trying a new sport, for getting a good score on a test that she found hard - not necessarily coming first but more than she thought she could do when she got up.

I give advice if asked about her appearance but don't dwell on praise of it unasked, she owns make up which I bought for her to play dress up in - but she would rather wear her dress up axes than eye shadow. Other people ask "do you have a boyfriend?" trying to tease her and I HATE it, so does she (and this started when she was 4 - so unhealthy). She has plenty of friends who are boys, plenty of them from cadets so she sees them all the time in the evenings, she doesn't need to see boys as "other" yet, they are just her friends (if 15 or so of her male friends can be seen posturing to get her attention on them that tends to get some admiration from her for particularly showy acts but they are such a mass she doesn't notice any one in particular yet).

I also show her that there are great futures out there if she chooses which don't require appearance. She knows many inspirational people and she has met diplomats, academics, historians, scientists, artists and writers all at publicly available events - any girl can do the same if their parents try. So far she is trying to decide whether to become a diplomat, an astrophysicist who can go into space, a medical doctor (who can also go into space, obviously) or a medical physicist (thus increasing her chances of going into space as a specialist AND not having to take the Hippocratic oath - apparently this is a benefit). In hindsight meeting Tim Peake may have been a large influence, though she knows a large number of female astrophysicists, normal physicists and a medical physicist which helps.

The other thing I do is limit phone time - for both of us. No point limiting hers and having mine attached to my arm constantly as an example to her. She has board games and books as well as computer games and her phone my job is to rationalise to a certain extent how time is divided up between them. I try to ensure she spends a healthy amount of time with friends in person and mostly those friends are the type who also want to play board games or role playing games or jam on the guitar - their parents are also the types to refuse to allow phones at social occasions so that kids learn to interact face to face not via their hands. Its been hard this summer but we did our best with walks until more was allowed.
 
I think any parent asking for advice on how to be a parent is, by definition, doing a pretty good job as they care about their offspring.

All of the feral little cnuts I would have happily put down for the benefit of society (anyone got a captive bolt pistol?) had a parent(s) who genuinely didn't give a **** and would have sold said child for a packet of fags if they didn't bring in money each week in benefits.

I don't blame those kids any more than I blame untrained dogs, it's the fault of the owner. Doesn't stop the dog being put down when it bites someone though.
I remember reading something somewhere and I would be interested in your take on it. It was a report on some hugely expensive scheme designed to help under-achieving kids in low-income areas, all very high-minded and commendable for sure, but at the end of it, the frank conclusion was that it hadn't made the slightest bit of difference.

A teacher explained that all the government money in the world won't make a blind bit of difference if there is one key element missing, the parent(s).

He said that any teacher can tell within thirty seconds of a parent/teacher meeting which kid will survive school and which won't and it has nothing to do with ability, intelligence, money, or anything else, it's the parents. Do they show up for the meeting and when they are there do they look like they give a shit? If the parent or parents are there, asking questions, showing concern and interest, the kid will be fine, they might not turn out Albert Einstein but they will get as much out of the education system as they can and they will go on to have a decent chance at life, if the parents don't give a shit, they won't.

Is that too simplistic an analysis from your point of you, granted of course that you would always still welcome a bit more money for the education system?
 
From my perspective having 3 lads I got away with it.
My lads on the other hand, so far 1 girl (already a precocious witch and she's not 2 yet) and 1 due in around a month, they've already got spots for their man sheds picked out.
Knowing a fair few blokes with multiple daughters each I feel I've been spared some of the horrors.

Know a bloke (old skydiving mate) with four daughters, his missus and her mum all living with him. Drove him batshit menkle until they married and moved out. One back now with her daughter but he gets (and got back in the day) spoiled silly by them.
 

Whining Civvy

War Hero
I'm the OP of the other thread and, as I also have a daughter (4) was seriously thinking of following up with one like this, so thanks for saving me the trouble. One thing I will most definitely be doing with her is taking her to TKD. There are a lot of f*ckwits out there and it's going to be a roll of the dice to see whether she finds herself in the company of one of them, I'm going to make sure she can handle them both mentally and, if required, physically when I'm not there to do it for her.

Her mother is strong willed and argumentative and I am in the process of building myself a mancave in preparation for the teen years. It's already a well-established fact that friction between the Mrs and the little foot-stamping madam is my fault for coddling her, and I view this as gentle mental training for the full monty in a decade.
 
Mega!

Father to two girls. 15 and 8 years old.

I was going to reply to the raising a son thread, but I literally don’t get two seconds to myself these days. Can’t even go for a dump in peace.

We all live together in a mad house. Me and 3 x females.

I don’t have a life.

I’ll write a proper reply tomorrow when I get a chance.

Cünts have had me running around all day. Every day is the same.

Hairdryers, fake tan, fighting over the bathroom mirror, shite music, shite tv programmes, hormones, periods in sync, general dad taxi driver duties 24/7, stupid questions constantly about switching TV or the heating on, constantly having the heating on, always fcuking cold etc

Fcuk my life.

Did you ever imagine you'd become a 25% minority in your own home?
 
We have three sons, no daughters. I do have two granddaughters who I see and deal with quite often. The youngest granddaughter is four years old and bright as a spark. I've found that keeping them interested in something they enjoy goes a long way to keeping them from getting bored which keeps them from getting into bother.

The oldest girl is into flowers and other botany stuff while her younger sister is into birds and is fascinated by them. Now both these kids have plenty of toys and really don't need anymore from me. This year for Christmas I have bought them a book each.

One book is about birds and their habitat and other info while the other book is about plants. I'm not going to give the girls their books and tell them to crack on. I'm going to go out with them as often as I can and together we'll find and identify the different birds and plants, collect feathers and flowers for their scrapbooks.

Herself asked me yesterday if I had called our DiL any ethnic nicknames recently within earshot of the kids.*
I told her no I had not and also told her I would never do it at any time, then I asked why. Turns out that they had to go somewhere and her Mum wanted the four year old to wear some girly clothing, the little one wanted to wear her jeans and boots.

Her mum was explaining to her why she had to wear the girl stuff and not jeans for the occasion. Apparently the little one came back with "Oh great, fashion tips from a desert dweller.

* Our DiL is Lebanese and has the looks as well as the brains.**

** No there will be no photos.
 
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My step daughter went through a "trying to be dominant " phase a few years ago. She'd got involved with a lad who was a wrong 'un. Albeit from a wealthyish family he was a manipulative twat and it rubbed off on her to the extent that we threw her out of the house.

A few years down the line and she's matured nicely, is studying hard at Uni and is going into Forensic Pathology with the aim of emigrating to Canada.

(The lad in question is called Owen Batty from Osbaston in Monmouthshire and he's going to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life)
 
(The lad in question is called Owen Batty from Osbaston in Monmouthshire and he's going to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life)

I've said on here before that I will kill anything or anyone that tries to or hurts my girls. At my age life imprisonment is no longer the deterrent it once was.
 
Her mum was explaining to her why she had to wear the girl stuff and not jeans for the occasion. Apparently the little one came back with "Oh great, fashion tips from a desert dweller.

* Our DiL is Lebanese and has the looks as well as the brains.**

Are you sure you've never left your computer on showing Arrse while your little cherub of a granddaughter was around?
 
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