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How do you raise a daughter

Stack of advice on future fellas: https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/how-do-you-raise-a-son.302458

But what advice does the wisdom of arrse have for the future fairer sex?

I have two sons and based on what I've seen I consider myself fairly lucky. Those friends/colleagues of mine who are married with two daughters - I like to kid them about having become a small minority within their own homes. None of them seem the sadder for it though, even though they have to put up with far more moods, hassle and BS than raising my sons entailed.
 
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Poppy

LE
as a middle aged daughter-try to show some gratitude for what we do for you!
 

964ST

War Hero
To raise a son, you can use bicarbonative soda like bread, takes a bit of kneading. But not too much (if it makes seagulls explode!) But with girls, under no circumstances use yeast!
 
Everything I said in the raising a son thread applies for lasses. In my experience the difference between boys and girls comes down to a few things (massive stereotyping ahead but it's borne out of experience):

Girls bear grudges. Boys can have a fight one day with a bit of bruising and blood and can then be mates two days later. Girls will continue a vendetta for months or years over relatively trivial matters.

Girls love drama. Similar to the above point, two boys will have a bit of a scrap and all of their mates will be there chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" but then move on the next day. Girls will continue to niggle and bitch about things that happened weeks ago in the hope of causing more drama to gossip about.

Girls fight dirty. There seems to be an accepted code for most boy fights that consists of "Punch anything you want, no kicks above the waist, headlocks and taking things to the floor are acceptable". Girls are evil, last time it kicked off (not in my room but next door) we were sweeping up chunks of hair and false nails they had ripped off each other.

Girls are much more prone to being anxious about anything and everything. They tend, either by accident or design, to surround themselves with similar types. The bright, level headed girls tend to hang around with others like that and are 'normal'. The drama queens find other drama queens, the rude bitches find other rude bitches etc. The only similar characteristic is a general lack of backbone and willingness to excuse themselves from anything as they are too 'anxious'.

Teenage girls fixate on their appearance to a level most people wouldn't believe. I don't blame them for that, social media is a major part in the demand to look 'perfect'. Boys are 'allowed' to be a bit rough and dirty, girls feel they can't be. Apparently a major bullying issue last year was girls having pubes in PE changing rooms. Not the old 'laughing at the weird kid who still doesn't have pubes at 15' but actively bullying girls who didn't shave everything off. It's a weird world.

Treat them like little adults, admit when you **** up, enforce rules rigidly but fairly and you won't go too far wrong in my experience. Most importantly, for the love of god stop them sending nude pictures to anyone. Have that conversation early and often. It's a lot more widespread than anyone imagines and if they do suck off an unpleasant little oik that only happens the once. Sending naked pictures of themselves, apart from legally being the distribution of child pornography, never goes away and ruins lives on a frequent basis as the pictures that were 'just for her boyfriend' somehow get shared around the entire school when she breaks up with him.
 
Mega!

Father to two girls. 15 and 8 years old.

I was going to reply to the raising a son thread, but I literally don’t get two seconds to myself these days. Can’t even go for a dump in peace.

We all live together in a mad house. Me and 3 x females.

I don’t have a life.

I’ll write a proper reply tomorrow when I get a chance.

Cünts have had me running around all day. Every day is the same.

Hairdryers, fake tan, fighting over the bathroom mirror, shite music, shite tv programmes, hormones, periods in sync, general dad taxi driver duties 24/7, stupid questions constantly about switching TV or the heating on, constantly having the heating on, always fcuking cold etc

Fcuk my life.
 
Can I just add one thing that would obviously apply to both, and I assume that this thread will get pretty much the same traffic as the Boys one.

Please don't let you kids have the same thing I did - we moved every few years all the way through my schooling - I went to 2 primary, 2 Junior & 3 Secondary schools. (7 new starts).

It probably doesn't sound like much but any time I got close to getting a bunch of mates, I was ripped away to start all over again, trying to break into the cliques, work out who the hell I was or who I needed to be to get by. It was miserable, I hated school, I hated growing up really, I was never rebellious, a bully or a trouble maker, I just sat there with a general '**** you' attitude and didn't do a thing. I never made it through 2 whole school years in one place. Left without any meaning full qualifications.

Parents gave up, when there was another bad report, I got a thrashing and that was that, it didn't hurt, it was pointless, child psychologists said I was bright but bored and unmotivated. Ran away from home a few times and left as soon as I could. Parents weren't nasty, just focussed on trying to drag us into the middle classes.

However, bizarrely, it was the best ever training for joining the Army, But I'd have rather have found that a bit more of a challenge and had a happy childhood.

Apparently my folks thought about sending me to a boarding school when I was due to go to Secondary - I didn't find this out until I was much older - I so wish they'd had.

Stability is a massive thing - going through all the trials and tribulations of growing up needs to be done with as much continuity and support as possible.

Sorry for the waffle, but it would have meant the world to me back then and I know given the propensity to things getting tough for today's kids, it could make a big difference.
 
No 1 son was no problem,
but the daughter? as soon as she turned 14 turned into Satan’s spawn.
its a girl thing

Tell me about it.
 
Can I just add one thing that would obviously apply to both, and I assume that this thread will get pretty much the same traffic as the Boys one.

Please don't let you kids have the same thing I did - we moved every few years all the way through my schooling - I went to 2 primary, 2 Junior & 3 Secondary schools. (7 new starts).

It probably doesn't sound like much but any time I got close to getting a bunch of mates, I was ripped away to start all over again, trying to break into the cliques, work out who the hell I was or who I needed to be to get by. It was miserable, I hated school, I hated growing up really, I was never rebellious, a bully or a trouble maker, I just sat there with a general '**** you' attitude and didn't do a thing. I never made it through 2 whole school years in one place. Left without any meaning full qualifications.

Parents gave up, when there was another bad report, I got a thrashing and that was that, it didn't hurt, it was pointless, child psychologists said I was bright but bored and unmotivated. Ran away from home a few times and left as soon as I could. Parents weren't nasty, just focussed on trying to drag us into the middle classes.

However, bizarrely, it was the best ever training for joining the Army, But I'd have rather have found that a bit more of a challenge and had a happy childhood.

Apparently my folks thought about sending me to a boarding school when I was due to go to Secondary - I didn't find this out until I was much older - I so wish they'd had.

Stability is a massive thing - going through all the trials and tribulations of growing up needs to be done with as much continuity and support as possible.

Sorry for the waffle, but it would have meant the world to me back then and I know given the propensity to things getting tough for today's kids, it could make a big difference.

That all sounds like mine, but I had 12 schools.
 
Stack of advice on future fellas: https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/how-do-you-raise-a-son.302458

But what advice does the wisdom of arrse have for the future fairer sex?
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OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
Can I just add one thing that would obviously apply to both, and I assume that this thread will get pretty much the same traffic as the Boys one.

Please don't let you kids have the same thing I did - we moved every few years all the way through my schooling - I went to 2 primary, 2 Junior & 3 Secondary schools. (7 new starts).

It probably doesn't sound like much but any time I got close to getting a bunch of mates, I was ripped away to start all over again, trying to break into the cliques, work out who the hell I was or who I needed to be to get by. It was miserable, I hated school, I hated growing up really, I was never rebellious, a bully or a trouble maker, I just sat there with a general '**** you' attitude and didn't do a thing. I never made it through 2 whole school years in one place. Left without any meaning full qualifications.

Parents gave up, when there was another bad report, I got a thrashing and that was that, it didn't hurt, it was pointless, child psychologists said I was bright but bored and unmotivated. Ran away from home a few times and left as soon as I could. Parents weren't nasty, just focussed on trying to drag us into the middle classes.

However, bizarrely, it was the best ever training for joining the Army, But I'd have rather have found that a bit more of a challenge and had a happy childhood.

Apparently my folks thought about sending me to a boarding school when I was due to go to Secondary - I didn't find this out until I was much older - I so wish they'd had.

Stability is a massive thing - going through all the trials and tribulations of growing up needs to be done with as much continuity and support as possible.

Sorry for the waffle, but it would have meant the world to me back then and I know given the propensity to things getting tough for today's kids, it could make a big difference.
I moved schools at eight years old - not just schools but education and social systems, we moved from The Kingdom of Yorkshire to Lancashire - with all the rivalry that you'd expect. For at least a couple of years it set me back educationally (ended up in the 'remedial class' for a few months due to having no knowledge of 'ITA') and socially, had a lot of fights and became very introverted. It took me a long time to stop blaming my parents for moving, especially as it was only a year after my Grandad died - who I still wish I had more time with, he was a gamekeeper and taught me a lot.

..... anyway, girls - can't really help, but good luck!
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer

Tyk

LE
From my perspective having 3 lads I got away with it.
My lads on the other hand, so far 1 girl (already a precocious witch and she's not 2 yet) and 1 due in around a month, they've already got spots for their man sheds picked out.
Knowing a fair few blokes with multiple daughters each I feel I've been spared some of the horrors.
 
Best advice I ever heard about being a Father to a Daughter was from Chris Rock.

For a long time you are the man in her life. How she relates to men in later life is greatly determined by how you interact with her as a man.
 
It’s been no dramas at all. Have two. Eldest is 17, probably away to uni next year, screamingly bright (her mother’s genes), wants to do engineering, done all her DofE, etc etc, breezed through teenagerdom without a hitch.

Youngest is a bit more like me, nearly 14, she’s a lovely natured girl, perhaps not as as academically bright as her sister but very creative. No sign of impending bitchdom yet, but I suppose there’s still time.

Will report again in 4-ish years time.
 

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