This is only half serious...at the moment! A feckless neighbour has a dog in a cage that barks at all hours. They have been the subject of repeated complaints, visits from the dog warden and so on over years. They even lied to the dog warden saying the dog was to be destroyed. Apparently their children love the little dear, so much it is left outside to bark all the time...even tonight, with fireworks going off every so often. It's repeated intrusive bark sounds like range practice (rapid fire) with piercing sharp barks echoing every 2 seconds. The neighbours are shortly to be served a letter informing them that court proceedings will be instigated. However, patience is wearing very thin and I need to know what to do if the red mist descends. I have the following options in mind: 1. Slit its throat and mount its severed head on a stake in the garden. It has crossed my mind that this may get me into a little trouble. 2. Throw a few bars of chocolate into its cage, apparently toxic to canines. If it ate the lot, and the wrappers, I could get away with it. I could even plant a receipt in the cage so it looks like the dog bought the chocolate, just in case. 3. Throw a cat into the cage so the dog kills it and is destroyed. 4. Place a small pile of fireworks in the cage, light and run. It might look like a Bonfire Night accident. 5. Steal the dog, so it is assumed that a dogfighting ring have taken it. Any suggestions?