*How do YOU eat YOURS?

While chatting to Cuts this morning I managed to cough up the meatiest chunk of phlegm ever.

It was firm in the middle, a slight crust in the very centre with a nice jelly edge to it. Perfection!

I spun it around my mouth for a few seconds before, after having given it an oral post-mortem and deciding there was nothing new to be learned from it, spitting it into a tissue for monkey to unwrap later and gag over. (Usually I let it slip back down my throat like a freshly shelled oyster but I’m a bit under the weather and my phlegm butties have been reappearing in the toilet bowl all day.)

I discussed the chunk with Cuts and he told me how he carried out his examination of his hoocked up meat feasts by gripping them and slicing with his incisors, before chewing them down with his molars…

Both interesting ways of deciding whether a chunk is worth gobbing out or snacking down on.

So merry ARRSE’rs in the words of that famous crème egg commercial, how do you eat yours?

Beebs

 

Must admit i dont eat them, YUCK!!!!!!

However i have in the past carried out one of two things.....

1. Hock one up, then crush it between index finger and thumb and try to make the biggest suspension bridge strut ever.

or

2. Try to recreate the sticky bomb scene in the search for Pte Ryan by hocking one up on a small piece of tissue, then smearing the bugger around the tissue before flicking it at the back of the nearest available neck, NICE!!.