Mod Edit:Minister Doughnut is a dolls head pilot walt.......... with a penis as big as a maggot and who's missus doesn't give him a sniff of the old grot box...and who can't get off his fat ring piece so they have given him a wand of power......albeit a tiny one.... You blufffing walt So if Russia invades how the fuuck are we going to defend ourselves? So Russia has been spotted of the coast of Britain flying around in a reconnaissance aircraft. I take it that a civvi phoned the coast guard after thinking it was a UFO. So if Russia decides to follow up its nuclear attack on the bistro in London with a full scale invasion into Britain using two reserve Battalions of cooks- who need the training, how are we going to fend off this invasion. I gave this a few minutes of thought time and came up with some ideas. So if a hairy arrsed Russian trooper lands in the garden this is what he will be greeted with- Our high tech surveillance cameras that are all over Britain will totally miss him- this is because they are always busy looking at local wildlife or local totty, or watching my partner wash the car-I watch their scanning. I could call the police yet this is proven to be a massive error-they would spend the first thirty minutes asking who the hell I was and what the hell did I think I was doing phoning this number-then they would want to know my marital status-my cock size-my postcode-and my music preferences- then and only then would they dispatch the message by carrier pigeon. If the pigeon makes the journey then there would be a phone call made to the crown prosecution service and the health and safety team-just to check out the legal implications of turning up. Seven days later some snotty little twat in an ill fitting uniform would turn up to tell me there was nothing he could do, so I had better move house-if I argued the point he would say I was being aggressive and then he would excitedly radio in for the swat team. I could look for a weapon and try to stop the invasion-a spoon or a fork-yet no way a knife or then a swat team would turn up and I would be shot by a trigger trembling throbber of the state. Then they would swear to the bible god that I had links to al queedie. I could throw hot coffee over the cunnt yet I would only be sued by some fat cuunt legal team with a no win no fee policy. Russian chap would be successful and then he would be granted asylum in his trench. Then I would be evicted and he would get to live in my house. I could knock up the old Molotov cock tail-yet some fuucker would turn up and chain themselves to my gate claiming that I was damaging the environment with my flaming fuel defences. I could phone the MOD they would keep me talking whilst my call was recorded and a massive surveillance operation was staged using out of work social security operatives-more used to chasing old bastards with back ache who are claiming three pounds more than their entitlement. I could ask the local chav gang for help yet they would just want to kick me to death-if I battered a few in self-defence -I would be jailed for hurting that young chav-chap. So if Russia takes this chance and lands on our open beaches and takes up residence with all the relevant paperwork-what do we do-do we just do a Blair and fuuck off to hotter climes-leaving the mess for some other folk to sort out. I could ask for a cigarette as a last request yet that plan is fuucked as Russki would think I was trying to escape as I would have to go smoke outside. Britain is in the shiit and some fuucker has been cutting the knackers off this once great Bulldog for about twenty years-first the unions and now the military and laws that strangulate peoples rights-weaken weaken and weaken some more-we are going to get screwed over if changes dont happen real soon. If Churchill could pop his head into Britain I am sure he would say-what the fuuck are you knobbers playing at-you are being ground down by pussies in suits, grow a set of bolllocks and get the edge back in GREAT BRITAIN-before you lose the fuucking lot-you bunch of yes men knobbers.