How do I get out the WO's & Sgt's Mess?

Would you opt out of the WO's and Sgt's Mess if you could?

  • Yes

    Votes: 32 28.1%
  • No

    Votes: 82 71.9%

  • Total voters
    114
This has probably been posted before and no doubt will make some of the older and bolder salty as **** but I would still like to know if it is possible...

How do I get out of the WO's and Sgt's Mess? Is it even possible or worth it? Has anybody ever done it and what affect did it have on their career?

Couple of points about me, which will probably make it much more obvious as to why I don't want to be a member... I am married and own my own home, more importantly, neither me or the wife drink alcohol (not always been the case, currently been tea-total less than a year) and are on heavily controlled diets.

So, I don't eat there, I don't drink there, I don't take advantage of cheap breakfasts, Sunday lunches or rooms and it's miles from where I live. I have no interest in being a member, I don't use it and the only time I visit is to pay the ******* monthly bill.
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Opting out of The Mess

You're right, it has.

Not sure if anybody has ever left the Mess of their own free will since it's in QRs and all that and part of the role of being a SNCO.

I do know of one person who was banned from it though for refusing to pay his sizeable Mess bill.

Just accept it's part of your life. You only have to attend the occasional 3-line whip and out of hours Mess meeting. It's not the end of the world. And with all that time spent as a JR, you can't exactly claim you didn't know it was coming...
 
This has probably been posted before and no doubt will make some of the older and bolder salty as **** but I would still like to know if it is possible...

How do I get out of the WO's and Sgt's Mess? Is it even possible or worth it? Has anybody ever done it and what affect did it have on their career?

Couple of points about me, which will probably make it much more obvious as to why I don't want to be a member... I am married and own my own home, more importantly, neither me or the wife drink alcohol (not always been the case, currently been tea-total less than a year) and are on heavily controlled diets.

So, I don't eat there, I don't drink there, I don't take advantage of cheap breakfasts, Sunday lunches or rooms and it's miles from where I live. I have no interest in being a member, I don't use it and the only time I visit is to pay the ******* monthly bill.

But you're happy to claw all the extra dosh? ...

* Teetotal , you fecking lizard.... life and soul you and your moosus eh?...what revolting practices do you do instead weirdo

teetotal | Definition of teetotal in English by Oxford Dictionaries
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Many, many moons ago I remember one guy with a similar attitude to the OP. His way round it was to volunteer for duty every mess night. He therefore only had to attend in a duty capacity, leave the table at dinner if called away on a duty call (very easily pre-arranged!) and often did not have to pay as he was dutyman! Made him popular with the Mess regulars who enjoyed the functions.
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
My last Sgt's mess used to keep meetings, where possible, during lunch. It allowed maximum attendance and kept them short - both a bonus. Where work prevented me from going to either a meeting or an event, it wasn't difficult to have a quick word with the PMC and follow it up with an email as a record.
I rarely drank at the summer/christmas balls, dining in/out etc. there were plenty of teetotal members as well as those who would occasionally 'be given permission to leave early'
Where drink was provided at the table for a formal meal they even managed to make sure alcohol free alternatives were placed instead of wine at the appropriate places.

Go, enjoy, socialise. It was possible to get so much more work done in the mess sometimes - especially when I could get all the BSM's in the same place and let them know which Battery was performing best to worst on ready to deploy stats. They'd then do their best to out-do each other. Took a lot of the strain from my job.
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
We did have one guy who was so anti-Mess, he used to turn up to the functions he was made to attend, in Barracks Dress because he refused to buy Mess Kit and was tee-total.

Moreover, his presence used to taint the function somewhat; there's nothing worse than a proper miserable c**t in the room who clearly doesn't want to be there, constantly looking at his watch giving it that whole "I've got better things to do with my life than socialise with you pi$$ed-up w@nkers..."

That's taking it to the extreme.

For me, my first days in the Mess I felt a little similar - loads of guys slightly older than me, pretending to be in their gentleman's club, quaffing port and chewing on cigars and I just didn't get it.

And then something happened. I went to the bar to get a round in and the barmaid wouldn't take my cash. Money behind the bar - WTF? And later when the money ran dry and I eventually DID pay, I was gobsmacked at the price of it. "Alrighty-then, here's where I get my £10 a month Mess bill back..."

I suddenly realised I was eating a 5 course meal, perfectly cooked, for nothing. And I could have as much wine / lager / lemonade / orange juice as my little tiny bladder could hold - surrounded by my mates and able to relax and discuss things we wouldn't necessarily voice at work cos there's grown ups and children about, innit?

And there it is... two choices:

1. Become a proper Mess-anarchist, spend your days coming up with more inventive ways of mugging off The Badge and risk being known for it across the board.

2. Tolerate it for what it is, embrace the free OJ and good dinners and have a word with the big man when he's in a good mood. I'm sure he'll understand with you living miles away, being teetotal and having commitments elsewhere, when the letters of excuse come across his desk.
 
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Many, many moons ago I remember one guy with a similar attitude to the OP. His way round it was to volunteer for duty every mess night. He therefore only had to attend in a duty capacity, leave the table at dinner if called away on a duty call (very easily pre-arranged!) and often did not have to pay as he was dutyman! Made him popular with the Mess regulars who enjoyed the functions.

I'm not particularly concerned about having to go to functions - it's more the £300 a year for nothing that bothers me.
 

Offshore_Harry

Old-Salt
It goes with the rank, most juniors would be happy to pay it, go see the PMC and ask them?
 
We did have one guy who was so anti-Mess, he used to turn up to the functions he was made to attend, in Barracks Dress because he refused to buy Mess Kit and was tee-total.

Moreover, his presence used to taint the function somewhat; there's nothing worse than a proper miserable c**t in the room who clearly doesn't want to be there, constantly looing at his watch giving it that whole "I've got better things to do with my life than socialise with you pi$$ed-up w@nkers..."

That's taking it to the extreme.

For me, my first days in the Mess I felt a little similar - loads of guys slightly older than me, pretending to be in their gentleman's club, quaffing port and chewing on cigars and I just didn't get it.

And then something happened. I went to the bar to get a round in and the barmaid wouldn't take my cash. Money behind the bar - WTF? And later when the money ran dry and I eventually DID pay, I was gobsmacked at the price of it. "Alrighty-then, here's where I get my £10 a month Mess bill back..."

I suddenly realised I was eating a 5 course meal, perfectly cooked, for nothing. And I could have as much wine / lager / lemonade / orange juice as my little tiny bladder could hold - surrounded by my mates and able to relax and discuss things we wouldn't necessarily voice at work cos there's grown ups and children about, innit?

And there it is... two choices:

1. Become a proper Mess-anarchist, spend your days coming up with more inventive ways of mugging off The Badge and risk being known for it across the board.

2. Tolerate it for what it is, embrace the free OJ and good dinners and have a word with the big man when he's in a good mood. I'm sure he'll understand with you living miles away, being teetotal and having commitments elsewhere, when the letters of excuse come across his desk.

Believe it or not, I'm not against going to the functions when I have to. I turn up, drink coke zero and leave after I've had my fill... It's more the principal of being having to pay for something (subsidising the alcohol problems of others XD) that I don't use, except when I have to!
 
I'm not particularly concerned about having to go to functions - it's more the £300 a year for nothing that bothers me.
£25 a month? I'm sure I was paying that 30 years ago. On a corporal's salary until Acting came through.
 
Not bad for coffee and biscuits at 10:00 and tea at 15:00 each day.
Don't get me wrong. I was married and lived in my own house miles away. I'd left the serious drinking behind when I left the cavalry. I didn't do tea and biscuits because getting through the wire in and out of the Computer Centre and walking to the Mess wasn't worth the effort.

It went with the job/rank and I sucked it up. Pretty sure the 15/19H mess bill was a lot higher than Worthy Down.
 
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If you have the bottle to do it, you could always write a formal letter to your CO asking to revert to Corporal rank. This would have the effect of getting you out of the Mess.

Until you choose to do this, the problem you have with Mess membership will still be there staring at you every day.
 

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