How do I get [I]my[/I] MBE ?

#41
1.) Find something that works.

2.) FUBAR it in the name of diversity/PC buzzword du jour.

Jobbed.
 
#42
Pffft the last job I was on in a certain Middle Eastern conflict zone, there were 5 UK staff including me, working at the same level, I was out there for 2 years almost solid, the others came out for a few months each. 3 of them got an OBE, me and the guy who'd been out the least didn't! I guess I was too busy doing the job rather than kissing ambassadorial arse!
Bitter? Me? Nah! :D (Would be interested to know who I pissed off though)

E2A one who got it never even set foot in the country in question but spent his time sunning himself in a neighbouring country!

Had a semi bounce on a DZ I was at as a reservist when the bloke fired his reserve into a square main without cutting away. Saw it all going to ratshit and took off across the DZ to get to where he was going to hit. Got there a few seconds after impact and he was out, covered in blood and not breathing so managed to get his airway cleared and more or less jump start respiration.

Fat medic came waddling up a minute or three after I'd got the bloke going, along with a few others and then stood around hyperventilating until the medevac chopper arrived with the ops medics and took the bloke away. She managed to blag a ride on the chopper to the hospital and that was the last of it as far as I was concerned.

About a year later I got a call to attend a parade so had a shave and a haircut and rolled up as ordered. Fat medic was also there in full sparkly hat and starched undies. She got a gong, I got a bit of paper saying attaboy for holding her handbag while she labored under extreme conditions to save the bloke's life.

Just proves that NSMs are damned near invisible.
 

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#43

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#45
PF got bags - as long as they couldn't praat swart of Engels.
If your lips moved and anything other than Die Taal emerged, you were destined for the void...

As you know there were were certain exceptions, and they were so outstanding even the Romans couldn't ignore them.

SALM & SAV were apparently human from what Tonto said.
 

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#47
#48
PF got bags - as long as they couldn't praat swart of Engels.
If your lips moved and anything other than Die Taal emerged, you were destined for the void...

As you know there were were certain exceptions, and they were so outstanding even the Romans couldn't ignore them.

SALM & SAV were apparently human from what Tonto said.
Viss are troo.

'Blue skies, black death' Tonto. Mad fucker. His ex missus used to bash the goiter at the brewery.

SALM and SAV may have been human but they were still soft cunts. I flew a contract in Angolsch with a bunch of the buggers and had to spend hours listening to their war stories about flying over the place back in the oorlog. Apparently, actually being on the ground humping a rifle about in the weeds wasn't nearly as ally as floating about 20k feet above it all in air conditioned comfort. Cunts.
 
#49
Only serving BEM I knew was a senior NCO at Knightsbridge. It was something to do with the Hyde Park Bombings, he chucked himself under the Standard/Colours or something to ensure they didn't 'fall'.

Seems quite worthy.
Soon as that came on the radio we hurled ourselves into hiding in lockers to avoid guard. I'm sure we weren't the only ones as we were from saturn.
 
#50
This is an interesting thread that has made me think quite a bit about the people I know, or at least I have met, who have had gongs apart from the ones I have already mentioned:

1. MBE. Long-term TA WRAC and R Signals, made Maj LE, but not military division gong, Years of unpaid case-work for a mil charity got it for her.

2. MBE. Old school mate. Long serving JP.

3. BEM. Belfast native, Secret Squirrel for a while during Banner, got out just as he was rumbled.

4. BEM. Organised cross-country team at AA Coll Harrogate as was, that wiped the floor in Army Junior Champs. Was himself a considerable athlete.

5. BEM new style, as opposed to the old rank-specific one we once knew. Long-serving senior Fire Officer.

I wouldn't presume to comment on the worthiness of any of the above, except No 5, the only individual I didn't know really well, and I think his is almost an insult.

I liked all of them and would buy any a pint any time I met them without a second thought.

I also once knew someone who is now a member of the House of Lords. Hmmm. He can buy his own.
 

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#51
Viss are troo.

'Blue skies, black death' Tonto. Mad fucker. His ex missus used to bash the goiter at the brewery.

SALM and SAV may have been human but they were still soft cunts. I flew a contract in Angolsch with a bunch of the buggers and had to spend hours listening to their war stories about flying over the place back in the oorlog. Apparently, actually being on the ground humping a rifle about in the weeds wasn't nearly as ally as floating about 20k feet above it all in air conditioned comfort. Cunts.
Tokyo's ex will cross the bar (again) next time I'm there. :)

But reference SALM, Koos Krokodil might have been more flexible these days if he'd been several thousand feet higher, but after a couple of dops he admitted that both the sit and nickname got him more doos than was good for a poor young muzungu.
 
#52
I had no idea that this excuse for an artist was allowed into the Royal Presence dressed like a tit. I see however that he was given the male version of the Order and not the female one on a bow suspension.

Cue howls of outrage when someone decides to publicly refuse a decoration because it does not match their gender that day.
 
#53
When I was in Celle during the early 80s, 1 RGJ wives used to stick packets of OMO washing powder (Old Man Out) in their kitchen windows whenever the Battalion was on Banner deployment or long exercise. One of the wives of a SNCO, used to act as Madam, and recruit younger wives to do the business with local German populace. She even tried to recruit the newly married wife of one of our Security Section Staff Sergeants, inferring that it was expected of anyone living in the MQs. Luckily the lady in question was not the type to be intimidated.

As I recall the wife of the RSM was getting sha**ed by a Rifleman whilst the RSM was knocking off one of the Junior's wife's.

Incidentally, when HM the Queen came to Celle for a revue of all four Battalions of the Regiment (including a TA Battalion), the poison dwarf who ran the wives brothel was presented to her!!!
2RGJ
 
#54
My old boss was awarded the MBE for running a Scout group in the Traz..... He's not being investigated by Op Yewtree as yet :). Had a couple of Seniors awarded the BEM after GW1 for working 25 hours a day, 8 days a week in UK based support roles.
 

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#55
#57
In 37 years service I reckon that about a third of those awarded (where I knew the recipients and/circumstances) were thoroughly deserved. Beyond that, the majority were down to quotaism and comes with the job ( provided that you don’t F-up), which seems to me more true the higher up the tree you climb. I have also seen too many cases of citations rejected because of cap-badge prejudice or nationality of the author,( i.e. Can’t believe that coz the yanks always exaggerate). And no, I haven’t got one; I gave up being bitter years ago and just see the irony of each new list.
 
#58
There was certainly a quota system ongoing in later Banner years, and one Corps was very keen on ensuring that their people were recognised, possibly a little exorbitantly. It was known that there was a prophecy from On High that as the Cold War was winding down, there would be Cuts, and the dire warning motivated some of their VSOs to indicate that the product they delivered was invaluable; there should be enhancements, not chainsaws.

Phone calls were received from VSOs asking what the callee had achieved in post; wholly out of the Annual CR chain and deeply suspicious. Instant phone comms to other offices confirmed that the process was province-wide. On one occasion a visitor to the callee's office, listening in, asked whether it was to be GM, QGM, BEM, MiD or sack (the visitor was decorated for a related - Police - activity, and that callee got retreaded again; mediocrity has it's own reward).

Banner certainly skewed a lot of the process; one administrative Coy 2ic, who had been told to get the ferk out of Lisburn and visit the troops he was screwing, spent something like a month organising a visit to Bessbrook, involving requests for cover cars, covert vests, machine guns and QRFs; he visited for twenty minutes (in INIBA) and was awarded some sort of General's Papyrus at the end of his tour, which he received to great acclaim, photographs and a Company pissup in his next posting in Cyprus. The officer who read out the citation (a former 14 Coy CO) had difficulty retaining his equanimity. As did the photographer, whose shaking caused disgracefully streaky prints.

Edit: My opinion, and that of, I think, most others doing the various sneaky and/or deskbound jobs, was that every infantry Private soldier/LanceJack/Corporal on the ground was far worthier of any award given to us; we were trained and expected to not contact the enemy.
 
#59
Knew an old lady, ex ATS and WRAC. She said she won her MBE playing snooker in the mess. I believed her and why not.


CFB
 

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#60
Knew an old lady, ex ATS and WRAC. She said she won her MBE playing snooker in the mess. I believed her and why not.


CFB
As would I.
The terrible honours some ladies were forced to receive after offering both easy pink and difficult brown.
 

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