A decade or three ago... First week at Catterick, out on run and can't keep up (I did say that it was Week One). Losing sight of the lads, I don't realise that've they've turned off, so I keep on running in a straight line. Several miles later, car pulls up and chap in civvies gets out. "You look knackered, hop in and I'll take you back to camp." "No, thanks, gotta do this on my own, just point me in the right direction." "No need to be silly, just get in the car." "Look, I may be knackered but I'm not stupid. Get back in your motor and feck off before I drop you, you perv. If you want an easy shag, go find a sailor. Now, get out of my fecking way, I've got a run to finish." Stern look, gets in car, disappears. Following day, in RHQ on an errand, I'm now wearing the glasses I don't wear when running. So, as well as recognising the voice, I now recognise the face when meeting the same chap. He's now in uniform with crown on each shoulder... He says only: "You made it back under your own steam, then?" Anybody else ever call their 2IC a perv and tell them to FO without comeback?