How come he never died?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by old_bloke, Apr 11, 2008.

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  1. Just thinking about some of the amazing escapes from really serious injury I witnessed over the years.

    “Spud” Parkinson rolling the FFR Rover Over and Over with the Tp Lt. in the front and a sleeping ED and RR Tech in the back. All got out without a scratch.

    Most Jaw dropping was at the end of the Inter Sqn March and Shoot at Harrogate.

    At the end we had to do the assault course and the fire a few rounds.

    Saw “Mitch” I think fall from the top of the Scramble net – 10 M high falling flat onto his back. Only had his 58 pattern webbing to break his fall.

    He gets up takes off his webbing, rub his back, opens the kidney pouches and inside is a FLATTENED pair of mess-tins.

    No injury to him the only thing to piss him off was the bill from the SQMS for damaging HMS property.
  2. A story from Kosovo in 1999. My unit had just arrived in Pristina and set up a temporary HQ in some sort of industrial estate. By the entrance on the opposite side of the road was a high tension power line. One morning there was a massive bang and a cloud of smoke from near the main gate, the initial reaction of everyone was that we had come under attack from the VJ, as the situation at that time was fluid to say the least. The truth was a bit different though. A Canadian comms truck was travelling along the road outside our gate with a 4m whip on. As it passed under the power lines the operator inside pressed the pressel switch ... cue massive short between the vehicle and the power line. We ran outside to help expecting to find dead bodies in the vehicle. But not one of the Canadians was hurt ... although they did seem to be a bit surprised! I had a look inside the vehicle after it had been recovered into our location and the inside was a mess, ash everywhere and the insulation melted off every cable. Thinking about it know, I can only assume that someone was watching over them that day.

  3. some bloke called me a c#nt once how the hell he did not die is past me
  4. Pond Jump West 01/94. Prior to the Bty rotating through the live section attack lanes, the SASC QMSI on the permanent staff took all the safety staff out onto Wainwright ranges to run us through the system.

    Suspicion over competencies ought to have been raised when his first round of application to the falling plate which he'd set up at, 'a minimum 100m distance', were actually a three round burst as he'd failed to check his selector switch... A sheepish grin later he put a single round into the middle of the plate which, as the plate was subsequently paced out to 45m away, tumbled not so lazily back between the two captains standing to my right who were looking in at a page of the same Nyrex.

    Still, it could have been worse, as we went on to discover.
  5. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    A chap I knew, nice bloke, unassuming but very wise, upset some Italians with his remarks. I think they were anti-semitic anyway, and they grabbed this guy, beat him up badly and nailed him to a tree or something. Stabbed him in the side too, anyway, they thought he was dead, so they cut him down and dumped his body in a cave. Imagine how surprised they were when he reappeared some 2 days later! But he wasn't angry with them at all.
  6. Read the book and seen the film - but the musical was the best !!
  7. We had a couple of guys in Southern Turkey/North Iraq during Op Haven whose rover rolled down a mountain side, the cab was flattened but because they weren't wearing their seat belts they cowered in the foot wells and survived.

    Also I remember one mong on a live fire exercise who couldn't quite grasp the context of "Switch Fire" which lead to some pretty nifty dancing at the sharp end
  8. Once managed to step backwards off the tailboard of a bedford.
    Landed flat on my back on the floor, much groaning and swearing but not really damaged in any way.

    The "Fcuking Hell that was close" bit came when I sat up and realised I had missed landing on top of an earth spike by about half a gnats knacker.

    The thing would have gone straight through me, still shudder to think about it now.
  9. NI '75' Young LCpl in house search holding a SMG as close protection. Looks out of house rear window and spots a gentleman armed with a AK taking a fire possition in a "Outside Toilet". LCpl does one toward the scene of the crime to find the gent had remouved a couple of brick from the toilet wall and was about to engage a patrol passing the end of the alley.
    Off course after (yellow card warning) opens fire and expends a full mag into the confines of the outside crapper. When the dust and smoke settled, the LCpl had totally destroyed said bog and hit the gent, hidden in the toilet (whoes whole life had flashed before him) once in the leg. Descibed by the medic as a slight puncture wound. LCpl had to remove his Marksman Badge from his No2 dress that he was proud to wear prior to the event. :roll:
  10. That would be Michael Faraday looking after them.

  11. Similarish story, whilst on patrol in Armagh I was moving into an overwatch position for a VCP on the road with my team when myself and the other guy in the front of the team, burst through a blackthorn bush to see a guy in full combats with a sniper rifle with telescopic sight and covered in camo tape in the prone position aiming at the other team, the process went something like this

    1. Froze for a split second in shock
    2. Cocked weapons
    3. Sniper hears us, turns and points weapon at us
    4. We take aim
    5. Sniper panics and fires weapon in the air with a look of fear in his eyes
    6. we both realise that the weapon is in fact an air rifle
    7. We calm down an discover that the kids about 15 and a bit slow (he was the village idiot) and got the rifle for his birthday (which was the day of the incident)
    8. We get slagged off by everybody because we should of slotted him, apparently

    Truth be told if it wasn't for the initial shock factor and if we did our drills a little slicker we probably would of been sharing a cell with Pte Clegg, especially as it was about the time he went down
  12. Watched two lads roll over in a WMIK on beat-up for Afghan, they were practising getting the vehicle out of contact, and as the driver reversed and spun the wheel to turn, he hit a rut which tipped the whole thing over. Luckily for them they had seat belts on. Luckily for us we'd taken the GPMG off the pintle before they set off. Ten minutes before we'd been doing it with top cover. Would not have been pleasant. Pl Comd had a tense 24 hours after that!
    We sent the driver to another Platoon!
  13. Way back in ealry days in Bosnia at Vitez. One of our lads at the Bulk Fuel Installation down the road from the School. The other side decided to fire a couple of rounds at aforementioned bloke who took the bullet in his helmet. The round hit the helmet, around the inside and back out. In fact the same incident is mentioned in that Col Bob Stewarts book that he wrote after he went to Bosnia.
  14. On telic 3, in the palace. walking out of the shower blocks close to what was the med centre (those who were there will be able to picture it). walked between two blocks about to cross the one way circuit... look to the direction of traffic - clear. about to cross... 'spidey sense' tingles... look the other way, Snatch wagon hurttling past; would have walked straight into it - QRF on the way to an incident at the front gate, hence the speed and wrong way round the circuit...

    Had to go back and have another shower as i VERY nearly disgraced my self (turtles head)

    It's funny that, athough i have had many a close shave over the past 16 years (lurk on a 500lb device that failed to detonate in S Armagh, IED partially detonating under warrior, etc etc), that is the only story that civis relate to when they ask about colse calls
  15. I suppose while we are on the same subject, me! Was in a Safari type Land Rover coming back from Mombasa whilst i was on 6 month tour of Kenya. 3 in the morning, REME mate driving and im in the middle set of seats getting head down after handing over to him.
    Next min im waking up in Kenyan Hosp after 3 days unconcious.
    Local farmer decided to go out in his old tractor (3 in morning!), no lights or anything and having no warning pulled out into our path. Rover goes arse over tit a few times and at some point i get thrown out. No seat belt. I suffered cracked pelvis, shattered jaw which came away from the skull, numerous punctures around my body from the stones and gravel and various other ailments including PTSD. Sad to say 2 others died in the vehicle and one other long term injured.
    The Rover, being a 110, looked like a 90 at the end of it (was shown pics).
    The RMP at the time stated if i had my seat belt on i would of been killed as i would of been crushed where i was sat!
    Nice of the RAF to fly me back in a Tristar though, all on my own as the usual transport, Hercules, wasnt pressurised.