how clean is your motor ?

Discussion in 'Cars, Bikes 'n AFVs' started by H3, Jul 15, 2011.

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  1. H3

    H3 LE

  2. Clean?????

    Fag Packets, ash, empty pop bottles, more fag ash, several old technical files I should have read, now baked yellow by the sun, a number of small indigenous species as yet unknown to man, bit more fag ash. Scratched cd's that skip every 5 seconds, some airwaves chewing gum pellets trying to merge into the plastic. Couple of broken pens, sunglasses somewhere on the floor.
    Probably a half finished fast food meal judging by the current smell.

    Outside, several paint scrapes on rear bumper where I discovered I can't reverse a trailer. Lots of dirt, hole on front grill from a fat wood pigeon the wasn't quick enough. Scrape on front bumper, **** knows when that happened.

    I think I should join.
  3. Sounds like my car if you throw in a fine covering of black labrador hair and some bits of foliage. It fecking stinks too, I found the source to be my son's school shoes (grubby little bugger!) that had been discarded on a hot day to fester. On the outside I am missing a crappy plastic hubcap (suspect that was the flash of something I noticed whizzing off in the rear view mirror a couple of days ago) and the bumper is currently being held together with black nasty...

    It was only £250 and I will get half of that back when I scrap it at the end of the MOT! Disposable cars are far more practical - never had one last long enough for a proper clear out yet and they cost less than most cars depreciate. Plus it's so old I can do all the basic stuff on it myself (those new fangled computery ones fox the hell out of me)- however it does mean that I have a shed full of old alternators and the like
  4. I clean my car a lot, but living where I do in the shitty countryside and driving on substandard roads, it gets very dirty in only a week.
  5. The NHS has the contract for cleaning my motor.....nead I say more?!!
  6. Stand by SHED mentioned ;)
  7. it's more of a cupboard really...

    I'll get my coat...
  8. Reeelax mine looks like one of those handy wooden storage/men's cabins at the bottom of the garden too.....
  9. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I live on a 2000 acre estate crossed by two rivers, in one of the rainiest parts of the country. I drive a large 4x4. Have a guess how clean it is.
  10. Blimey rich person online, well that or a farmer, gamekeeper or squater
  11. I'm getting a shiny new work bench with clamps for my er... cupboard. It doesn't have windows so nobody will see me getting excited over Screwfix catalogues and swarfega.

    And back on thread...
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Landed Gentry Walt...
  13. H3

    H3 LE

    How about the Top gear episode where they bought a Merc and BMW then swabbed the seats ...... The flash Merc had Vaginal fluid and white powder traces !!!!
  14. I get my man to clean mine.
  15. I get Afghan Khandak to clean mine
    • Like Like x 1