How can you stand in the election and what does it cost?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheIronDuke, Mar 16, 2010.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Yeah, you did me Mum. Lets move on? I should have posted this in the Intellegence bit, but I did Wooperts Mum once and I am not sure he has forgiven me. She was all right, but I have had better to be honest.

    Right. Heres the deal.

    How much does it cost to stand for a member of Parliament.

    And what sort of forms does one have to fill in?

    Any input from clever people appreciated.

    What qualifications must I meet?
    You must be at least 18 years old and be either:
    • a British citizen
    • a citizen of the Republic of Ireland, or
    • a citizen of a Commonwealth country who does not require leave to enter or remain in the UK, or who has indefinite leave to remain in the UK.

    Who is disqualified?
    Certain people are disqualified from becoming a Member of the UK Parliament. For example:
    • members of the police forces
    • members of the armed forces
    • civil servants and judges
    • certain convicted prisoners
    • people who are the subject of a bankruptcy restrictions order in England or Wales or a debt relief restrictions order
    • people who have been adjudged bankrupt in Northern Ireland
    • people who have had their estate sequestrated in Scotland.

    To become validly nominated you must submit a completed set of nomination forms together with a deposit of £500 to the (Acting) Returning Officer before the close of nominations.
  3. You missed one. Fixed.
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Fuck. Right. Certain civil rights issues aside, for half a bar, one can stand for Parliament, right?

    Who's in?
  5. The Arrse Party? Won't the Lib Dems object...
  6. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Nah, sorry. I never inhaled and I got witnesses. Do I know you?

    Education. We want lots of it. Anybody ever been in a school? And not got nicked? We're hiring.
  7. Having the qualifications and the bit of wedge to stand is only a part of it and a small part at that. Would be politicians don't just stay at home and wait for voters to pop along on election day to vote them into the good life. There is a whole raft of stuff to do that will keep you very busy if you want to get them to vote for you. You first of all need to set out what you would do if you were elected to Parliament and that means having quite a comprehensive set of policies to show what you are about. If you don't have them, your competition will soon point this out to voters. Then you have to communicate those ideas to the electorate. Newspaper adds, website address's, leafletting the whole community ( often several times) and of course knocking on peoples doors and introducing yourself, chatting to them, kissing babies and so on. You have to do anything you can (legally that is) to convince everybody why they should vote for you! Then you have to actually get the vote in on election day. That means having a system in place to see who's been to vote and getting your promises out of their homes and down to the polling station to vote for you. A task that starts fairly early in the day and goes on right up until seconds before the close of the voting stations at aroung 9 or 10 in the evening. All this has to be done withing the legal limit for election expenses and overturning the premise that the british electorate generally like to mostly vote for one of the big 3. Lastly, supposing everything went well and you are now the member for wherever, you have to produce the goods for your constituency. At the end of the day when it's coming up to the wire again, you are only as good as your next election. People soon see through frauds and nutters.

    Good luck.
    • Bullshit Bullshit x 1
  8. OK My policies:

    The immediate execution of all current MP's and members of the House of Lords.

    Actually thats such a vote winner I dont think I need any others.
  9. step 1, trawl forums for policies
    step 2, print out policies
    step 3, distribute

    Milk in your tea prime minister? :D

    and can i be your secutary for transport? i did ask first :twisted:
  10. udipur

    udipur LE Book Reviewer

    You could play smart and get one of the parties to sponsor your deposit (which you get back if you win over 5% of the vote, by the way).

    So join the BNP to have free eggs delivered to your face every time you step out of the door.
    Or join the UKIP to scream abuse at the European 'President' the week before you are on Question Time to drum up attention.
    Or the Green Party to learn how to smell a bit whiffier and complain about one newt in the way of 15,000 new jobs.
    Or the Conservatives where you can grow up to live offshore, cream off a peerage and still be Chairman.
    Then there's Labour, where you can bicker with your brothers, squabble with your sisters, embrace diversity and inclusion and vote for positive discrimination.
    Let's not forget the Lib Dems whose ace in the hole is a Labour defector who sounds like Ken Livingstone with hemorrhoids.

    Blimey, I think I'm going to emigrate.
  11. Right IronDuke, Fag packet campaign outline:

    Don't go for global domination, stick to targeting one seat.
    Get your local ARRSE community mobalised, if we can crash a recruiter we can get you a seat start a Facebook!
    Get the manifesto, which has links with reality and other Parties-Don't sound off on a single issue.
    Look to cover the area with one leaflet, make a statement and don't waste campaigning in "dodgy" non sympathetic areas!
    Get a local presence try stands inthe Market squares or outside shopping centres.
    Grab the local press and try and get the local radio to cover you, unusual angles.
    Play the local man with a passion, ie not a Career politician, but someone who wants to do something for the locals and the Armed Forces.
    And for heavens sake read the Election funding leaflets, I think you only have £14K to run an election in a constituency.
    Good luck, why not try Colchester!
  12. IIRC, it costs a fair bit of money (I'm not sure but it is in the £1000's) to stand for election. If you get a certain number of votes you get the deposit back.

    Could be an expensive mistake!
  13. Two more ideas:

    Print your election leaflets in the native languages of your intended constituents, not forgetting one in txt speak for those newly arrived at voting age.

    Hand out lots of signed photos of yourself, not forgetting to mention "They're not worth much now, but if I get voted in, they'll be worth thousands on eBay."
  14. You get my vote :soldier:
  15. Not referring to you of course, but I can answer in general terms about the cost of becoming a MP;

    Your integrity is the price you have to pay.