How can our chubby, drug-addled and right-on Army protect us from our enemies?

#81
I still think it all went wrong with the introduction of SLAM.

As mentioned previously, I ******* loved SLAM because I hated having to share a room with six ******* morons, but it led to an almost immediate drop in the concept of a 'team' - people who previously would go to their six or eight man room, chat, laugh and **** about, instead went into their SLAM, shut their door and said goodbye to the world.

You could routinely walk around all the blocks and see or hear no-one, whereas in the old blocks you'd hear talking, shouting, laughing, screaming, crying for help, etc.

That was a big turning point for many a Regiment, the team that was pretty much 24/7 became working hours only, bar a few things such as nights out, etc.
I’d agree with that, but it needed to be done.
 
#83
I was a racing snake virgin deflowerer 20 fags and 6pints a nightsort of guy., obviously standards have slipped since I left, bunch of snowflake poofs now.
incidentally where's big J these days ? is he dead?
 
#84
I was a racing snake virgin deflowerer 20 fags and 6pints a nightsort of guy., obviously standards have slipped since I left, bunch of snowflake poofs now.
incidentally where's big J these days ? is he dead?
I knew a PTI, hope this helps
 
#85
At least two former military types at it; add Collins (and probably others) to the mix and you could suspect that a pow-wow has taken place; the ghost of Walter Walker is walking about the corridors.
Because that ended sooo well and lessons were learnt...
 
#86
Quality or Quantity? The eternal choice.
Not quite, despite standards being lower than a snakes penis in a wagon wheel rut, no one (bar the RAF) joins the military as a fat ****. Those in charge just allow people to become porkers on the biff.
 
#87
From that comment I’m not sure if you realise quite how on our ARRSE we truly are.
I’m fairly sure that you are about 2 to 3 years behind The Police. The PC culture, the declining standards, the decimation of TACOS, the rapidly falling numbers and the constant attacks by agenda focussed media to name but a few.

People sniggered when the police got hammered. Unfortunately it’s the militaries turn. No wars to keep the critics at bay.
 
#88
.......maybe declare war on journalists? Win-win for everyone (well, except journalists, but it's for the grater good etc)
 

MrBane

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#89
I’d agree with that, but it needed to be done.
Completely agree, but as with most things army, no-one bothered to sit down and suss out what might happen with SLAM nor implement anything to prevent the isolationist existence it created.

For example, internet. Should it be available to all? Yes, but should a Tpr be allowed to get a line to his room as you would with your own home?

No.

Camp wide, restricted WiFi would suffice for email, IM, Social Media, etc.

Take that old, outdated and empty Mess, refurb a section of it for 'Unit Hub', run by the PMC, not privately, and get your consoles, cinema room, facilities, etc so the lads have somewhere modern and relevant to congregate of an evening.

But nah.

Edit: Actually, I'd like to know what's going on in the hub at Pirbright now.

When I joined, mobile phones were common but Facebook etc, didn't exist. Mobile internet wasn't really a thing. The hub was always packed with lads wanting a machine to chat to friends over MSN Messenger, ICQ, etc. Pool tables always full, table pennis queued out, etc

Are those places ghost towns now folk have smart phones with huge data packages now?
 
#90
F*ck me, I logged onto arrse and it appears I have been redirected to the Daily Mail. Jumpers for goalposts, summers were hotter, etc, etc.....

...

I still can’t believe grown adults look at the Mail as a source of news ^~
Phew! For a moment there I thought you'd mistaken a 'comment' piece for news reportage. Can't be so.

Mind you, I believe that more people log onto their site in search of a daily fix than any other 'news' organisation's.
 
#91
Completely agree, but as with most things army, no-one bothered to sit down and suss out what might happen with SLAM nor implement anything to prevent the isolationist existence it created.

For example, internet. Should it be available to all? Yes, but should a Tpr be allowed to get a line to his room as you would with your own home?

No.

Camp wide, restricted WiFi would suffice for email, IM, Social Media, etc.

Take that old, outdated and empty Mess, refurb a section of it for 'Unit Hub', run by the PMC, not privately, and get your consoles, cinema room, facilities, etc so the lads have somewhere modern and relevant to congregate of an evening.

But nah.

Edit: Actually, I'd like to know what's going on in the hub at Pirbright now.

When I joined, mobile phones were common but Facebook etc, didn't exist. Mobile internet wasn't really a thing. The hub was always packed with lads wanting a machine to chat to friends over MSN Messenger, ICQ, etc. Pool tables always full, table pennis queued out, etc

Are those places ghost towns now folk have smart phones with huge data packages now?
That will do loads for recruiting and retention won't it? Hey lads unlike all your civvie mates you have restrictions on the internet and need to go to a communal area to play GTA5, don't all rush at once to join up/stay in.
 
#92
Was that down to the lads on the ground though, or the decision making from the higher ups?
The higher ups obviously, they were the ones who allowed the British intelligence service to pay people not to bomb/ kill our chaps, British liberals thought we could swerve the chevauchee way of war that we'd used pretty much though out our colonial history when things got sticky and replace it with hearts and minds on steroids and Tim Nice but Dim figures with suitcases full of Taxpayer lolly, i mean it saved a lot of lives but it destroyed our fighting reputation, and these are the people leading this liberal bullshit recruitment campaign we see now.

I read recently that Afghanistan from 06 which WE the British actually started (not a shot fired etc) has cost the combined likes of Nato around 1 Trillion pounds, in comparison its estimated cost to the Taliban was £20 Million,.. yes thats Million.
 
#93
If the UK ever get invaded by China/Russia - and the government decide to call people up again to fight - I will tell them to piss off, fight for what? We don't live in a democratic country any more - just look how May is fcuking up Brexit and I'm not fighting so gays can have more rights and the great unwashed leftists PC brigade can sue me in a few years time once everything has 'blown over'.
They can all go and fcuk themselves if they think I would fight for them ever again. I'll look after myself and my own and that's it.
Reckon you'll be alright mate, even when we were scraping the barrel for manpower in 1944 we weren't calling the spastics up.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#94
Edited to add: PAYD!! Who the **** thought that was a good idea???
The Treasury....from whom the Army has taken it's orders since at least 1997.
 
#95
The Treasury....from whom the Army has taken it's orders since at least 1997.
Try since the time of Ancient Rome at least - Len Deghton's 'Declarations of War' even has a short story about Hannibal. (no, not the bloke from the A-Team) elephants, mountain passes, Roman Legions and cheap shoddy kit sold on by suppliers who had bought-off corrupt politicians and by penny-pinching by the treasury......
 
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#96
That will do loads for recruiting and retention won't it? Hey lads unlike all your civvie mates you have restrictions on the internet and need to go to a communal area to play GTA5, don't all rush at once to join up/stay in.
Exactly, the social thing is not a problem that can be fixed, it needs to be adapted to.
 
#97
Matelot perspective: My experience '92-06

Messdecks- 3HZ n a T22 for example -"mess square" surrounded by various alleyways with bunks (gulches). End of working day, those 'off watch would congregate in the mess square. The beer fridge would be opened and people would hang around..."get tinned up" or get their heads down depending on how skint they were or whether had to be up early. After evening rounds (19:00) a heady cocktail of Lynx Africa and assorted aftershaves bought on tick from Jack Blair would permeate from the gulches. Several "runs ashore" were in progress...skint?? somebody would sub you...no big deal.
03:00 "Sherhally hooo, shawapadilly-hooooo!" as various shit Elvis impersonators slid back down the hatch. No "crimping in the mess square" rule was in force so, after graciously receiving whatever was left of whatever kebab/takeaway, the miscreants were guided to their pits. Crimp in the mess square and you got your eyebrows shaved/drawn on etc etc.

Fast forward to about 1998..."laptops" had become a thing. End of working day...several people in mess square sat staring at football manager or whatever, oblivious to whatever else was going on in the mess. Yes, the "runs ashore" still happened but - not as many. You always had the odd couple who would be sat in the mess just reading a book but - you'd have 10 or so sat comparing laptops/games etc.

Shore accomodation was roughly the same- as it moved away from dorms to single cabins with shared rec area...people just hived themselves away.

I'm no longer serving but, from the ones I know who still are - I would hardly recognise any of the ethos/culture nowadays. The documentary that is on Youtube "sailor" from 1976 is virtually how I remember my time in the mob, albeit a couple of decades afterwards.
 
#98
Exactly, the social thing is not a problem that can be fixed, it needs to be adapted to.
The social thing, be it SLAM or internet has nothing to do with chubby cnuts. Other armies have had single rooms and internet connection long before the British army tried to play catch up.
Weak officers are the main cause of fattyitis because they dont do **** all about it.
 
#99
Has anybody confirmed the status or the lardy cvnt in the article.
Is he regular Army, or some form of hanger on?
I'd put money on the photo being shot in the Tesco just up the road from Chetwynd Barracks. One used to see legions of such types invading Costa Coffee in-store - don't suppose much has changed.
 
The social thing, be it SLAM or internet has nothing to do with chubby cnuts. Other armies have had single rooms and internet connection long before the British army tried to play catch up.
Weak officers are the main cause of fattyitis because they dont do **** all about it.
I would also question the lack of investment unit gyms. The bars on my camp are empty as are the pubs in town.The gym however is rammed until 2030 most night.
 
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