how bone is your missus.

When mine does something death defying like that, I just say ' And how would I explain the incident to the Guardia Civil!'

(She also did the tongs/toaster interface a while ago).

Unlike UK, we do have plug sockets in the bathroom. Quite close to the sink and not the 110V shaver plugs only like UK.
Mine goes into the downstairs bathroom with a hair dryer.
"Careful you don't get that near the taps," says I.
Quick look and she's actually resting the hair dryer in the sink which has one of those taps that just a light touch will turn on.

If you find a nice, sympathetic Guardia Civil chap, who's obviously married, please send him round to me.
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
I think that is a species trait, mine is the same.
I forgot to check before we left for a trip, upstairs toilet light left on for three weeks.....
Mine is the opposite. She'll do everything in the dark rather than switch on a light. Well, she is a jock...
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
and that is why in many locations on the farm proximity switches have been fitted in areas "she" frequents

Coincidence that you say that as I was looking at proximity switches just a few days ago. I'm going to get a few next time I'm in town.
 
If you find a nice, sympathetic Guardia Civil chap, who's obviously married, please send him round to me.
Slight thread drift...

A few years ago, one of our local Green Meanies aka Guardia Civil, shot his wife dead with his service pistol.

Hey ho.

He was obviously then overcome with remorse because he decided to (successfully) top himself.......

Not with his pistol - oh no, too easy. Using a Black and Decker and a drill into his head.

He/they were found because the next door neighbour wondered what was wrong with the drill because it had been running for so long!
 
ladies are like google. :D
I cant find the " I'm feeling lucky" box to click on her, and seconds after typing that I know damm well what the replies
are going to be abount not finding and feeling lucky ;)
 

NSP

LE
I think that is a species trait, mine is the same.
I forgot to check before we left for a trip, upstairs toilet light left on for three weeks.....
"Darling - we must go back. I think I left the iron on."

"Not to worry, luv - I left the shower running."
 

Kirkz

LE
Book Reviewer
"Darling - we must go back. I think I left the iron on."

"Not to worry, luv - I left the shower running."
I worked with a woman who took a picture of the iron every morning before she left for work so she could check later if she'd unplugged it.
 
I caught SWMBO and I use the word caught purposely as she was extracting mini nan breads from the toaster with a pair of metal tongs, after my intervention she proceeded to harangue me with regards to my controlling manner and for treating her like she was stupid, then my advice was “if you insist on doing it stand in a bucket of water for safety”
Controlling behaviour? Coming from the gender that invented 'happy wife, happy life' and unless you do as we tell you, we'll make your life a nightmare.
 

Cavuman

Old-Salt
Not my missus, but my sainted mother, she of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude fame. Using her brand-new Kitchenaide mixer to whip up a cake, she reached in to clear a pesky lump of batter when the machine, growling, bared its chrome-plated teeth and deftly grappled and then removed her right thumb. I was at home and heard the blood curdling screams. I dashed into the kitchen to see my mother squirting arterial blood into the mix.

Tourniquet applied, ambulance called, thumb reattached successfully, but no cake for us that night....

- Ed
 
"Darling - we must go back. I think I left the iron on."

"Not to worry, luv - I left the shower running."
#14302

Friends of my folks had mother in law to stay from UK.
Flight from somewhere north to Heathrow, then Johannesburg, then onwards.
They get home, and MiL pipes up " I left the iron on".
So hasty call to international enquiries, call local UK plod shop, who send a car round.
Lo and behold, she is right. Plod look through window and see smouldering.
Fire brigade force in, and make good. They reckon another half hour and it would have flashed.
 
#14302

Friends of my folks had mother in law to stay from UK.
Flight from somewhere north to Heathrow, then Johannesburg, then onwards.
They get home, and MiL pipes up " I left the iron on".
So hasty call to international enquiries, call local UK plod shop, who send a car round.
Lo and behold, she is right. Plod look through window and see smouldering.
Fire brigade force in, and make good. They reckon another half hour and it would have flashed.
You mean that on rare occasions a woman is right?

Go and have a word with yourself.
 
The most treasured words voluntarily spoken by Mrs Meaty Mk II:

"I'm sorry, I was wrong"

Total of 3 times in 25 years of marriage, must be a world record for frequency of utterance.
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
So , me n the boss herself are clearing out lots of boxes of research papers, old financial documents to make room in the attic for more junk.

As we have quite a pile of finance bumf I said to the boss " you know what, I think I will just tear this lot up rather than put it through the shredder "
Oh, no says she, it has to be shredded because it's personal and someone might pinch our Identities .

C,mon there are tons of it, I wistfully replied , and the shredder only runs for two minutes then you have to let it cool down for half an hour .

I don't she says triumphally,I shred until its very hot and cuts off then I go off and make a Coffee !!

Sticks head into hands and sobs, why do I even mention it .? .
 
"can you get me a pack of dish sponges please"
ok
After dicking looking for balm tissues that weren't in the supermarket I return to the homestead.
"Those are the wrong ones"
You asked for dish sponges?
"I meant the ones that we always use in sink, the scratchy ones"
you mean sponge scourers, there's loads under the sink, which is why I bought sponge dish cloths...like you asked.
I have now imposed radio silence.
 
I have a new all singing all dancing Samsung A12 phone
decent phone , because someone , (who shall not be named ) had to get a new phone because her sister got a new phone , using the excuse she couldn't download the QR app, and we needed it desperately for the holidays this year if we're travelling with the camper
It arrived and she crossed all her data and shit over , but has now decided it is too big, doesn't like it , and has decided tohave her old? (2 f ucking years) phone back , has deleted loads of unnecessary crap from it and she can now dowload the QRs apps and much ,much more , in fact all she needed, so she didn't need it in the fisrt place .......(remembering of course one of my previous rants on here about her having to have a new phone because her phone was knackered , and it was just the charger that was bolloxed

anyway , f uck her ......my new all singing all dancing phone is ace
 
I have a new all singing all dancing Samsung A12 phone
decent phone , because someone , (who shall not be named ) had to get a new phone because her sister got a new phone , using the excuse she couldn't download the QR app, and we needed it desperately for the holidays this year if we're travelling with the camper
It arrived and she crossed all her data and shit over , but has now decided it is too big, doesn't like it , and has decided tohave her old? (2 f ucking years) phone back , has deleted loads of unnecessary crap from it and she can now dowload the QRs apps and much ,much more , in fact all she needed, so she didn't need it in the fisrt place .......(remembering of course one of my previous rants on here about her having to have a new phone because her phone was knackered , and it was just the charger that was bolloxed

anyway , f uck her ......my new all singing all dancing phone is ace
Yes my Mrs doesw the same sort of thing " Its broken I NEED a new one, I have ordered it..." Phones, computers,portable milking machines etc etc.
every item is fixable, ie phone, reset password ! computer, new power block,milking machine 13amp fuse. However the milking mackine sort of backfired on her, before delivery of the new one I let her use the 50yo Surge milker I has recently restored ! until "fixed" the old one with a new fuse and cancelled the new replacement, to her disgust .
 

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