how bone is your missus.

unicorn77

War Hero
Basil: They do get awfully confused, don't they? They're not thinkers. I see it with Sybil everyday.
The Major: I do wish I could remember her name. She's still got my wallet.
Basil: As I was saying, no capacity for logical thought.
The Major: Who?
Basil: Women.
The Major: Oh yes, yes... I thought you meant Indians.
 

NSP

LE
There was a bit of a bang in Exeter this week. It was on the news with a caption along the lines of "Debris thrown 250m"

Swmbo "is that 250 miles or 250 metres"

I just looked at her over the top of my glasses..

Swmbo "oh **** off.. And don't you dare put it on Arrse"
My sister lives in the city and sent me a video clip of it going off and describing the damage to surrounding buildings. Apparently my response of, "Did it cause a few thousand pounds worth of improvements?" was the wrong answer.
 
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It's now been nine days and I'm still on radio silence. Basically herself stuck her nose in where it didn't belong and our DiL told her to wind her neck in. Later herself tries telling me about it and I listened for about 30 seconds, tell her I'm not interested and walk away.

I later got the 30 second non bullsh!t version from the kid and it sounds to me like DiL was within her rights to tell her to wind her neck in.

Me! I ain't complaining, I sit in the basement and hook up the sound system to the PC then play all the songs I know she fecking hates but she also knows I like them so nothing unusual there. :twisted:
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
It's now been nine days and I'm still on radio silence. Basically herself stuck her nose in where it didn't belong and our DiL told her to wind her neck in. Later herself tries telling me about it and I listened for about 30 seconds, tell her I'm not interested and walk away.

I later got the 30 second non bullsh!t version from the kid and it sounds to me like DiL was within her rights to tell her to wind her neck in.

Me! I ain't complaining, I sit in the basement and hook up the sound system to the PC then play all the songs I know she fecking hates but she also knows I like them so nothing unusual there. :twisted:
9 days? Are you sure she hasn't moved out?
 
My sister lives in the city and sent me a video clip of it going off and describing the damage to surrounding buildings. Apparently my response of, "Did it cause a few thousand pounds worth of improvements?" was the wrong answer.
Remember there are no right answers.
 
SWMBO asked me to look on Aldi website to see what this week's offers are, she says what's taking so long, I said, I'm in a queue to get on the website and I've got to put a mask on before I can enter the site! She replied, that's scandalous - putting a mask on to enter a shopping site! Then she looked at the smile on my face, and went, oh you! I nearly believed you then! No nearly about it! Fank thuck I'm on nights starting from tonight! :D
 

NSP

LE
The clearly not-to-bright woman in the end-terrace on the other side of the entrance to my buildings car park - which is owned by us and not her even though there are two spaces for her house in it - seems to think that the police will come out and tell me where the boundary of the land I control is (which she has been asked several times not to put her bin on as it breaks our lease conditions and voids our buildings and public liability insurance).

This despite me having show her the annotated land registry plan showing clearly that the legal boundary is where the concrete insets around the perimeter show it to be.

I await the loud crash as the Enforcer takes my front door off at 5am tomorrow morning.
 
The clearly not-to-bright woman in the end-terrace on the other side of the entrance to my buildings car park - which is owned by us and not her even though there are two spaces for her house in it - seems to think that the police will come out and tell me where the boundary of the land I control is (which she has been asked several times not to put her bin on as it breaks our lease conditions and voids our buildings and public liability insurance).

This despite me having show her the annotated land registry plan showing clearly that the legal boundary is where the concrete insets around the perimeter show it to be.

I await the loud crash as the Enforcer takes my front door off at 5am tomorrow morning.
Any CCTV? Some local scrote might, oh I dunno, perhaps drop some petrol in her (plastic?) bin and torch it?
Scrotes eh? Tut.
 

NSP

LE
Any CCTV? Some local scrote might, oh I dunno, perhaps drop some petrol in her (plastic?) bin and torch it?
Scrotes eh? Tut.
I'm in the process of e-mailing the building manager to once again write to her telling her to pack it in, only time enclosing a copy of the plan and a photograph which I have annotated with the boundary and whose land is on which side of it, finishing up with "If he sees your shit on his land again the grumpy old bastard will instruct a solicitor with regard to suing you for trespass and costs. It would be unwise to test him."
 

RBMK

LE
Book Reviewer
Her: The dishwasher's full, can you put it on?

I look in the dishwasher and it looks like someone has dropped a tac nuke into the Denby shop.

Some minutes later: You haven't put the dishwasher on like I asked.

No dearest, it's not full. [There are currently only the two of us at home]

I have simply re-arranged the chaotically piled dishes into some sort of order.

She opens the dishwasher to see that there is at least sufficient space for our evening meal dishes.

She then shuts the dishwasher with a thump and walks off in high dudgeon.
 

wheel

LE
Her: The dishwasher's full, can you put it on?

I look in the dishwasher and it looks like someone has dropped a tac nuke into the Denby shop.

Some minutes later: You haven't put the dishwasher on like I asked.

No dearest, it's not full. [There are currently only the two of us at home]

I have simply re-arranged the chaotically piled dishes into some sort of order.

She opens the dishwasher to see that there is at least sufficient space for our evening meal dishes.

She then shuts the dishwasher with a thump and walks off in high dudgeon.
There are two reasons that I would not allow her to buy a dishwasher.
1) There are just the two of us.
2) I cook she washes up . Usually only the items we eat from need washing as I am a very tidy cook.
 

NSP

LE
I'm in the process of e-mailing the building manager to once again write to her telling her to pack it in, only time enclosing a copy of the plan and a photograph which I have annotated with the boundary and whose land is on which side of it, finishing up with "If he sees your shit on his land again the grumpy old bastard will instruct a solicitor with regard to suing you for trespass and costs. It would be unwise to test him."
Postscript: She got her equally dumb father to come around and get in my face in a socially undistanced way. Ranting unreasonableness obviously runs in the family. I let him twat on about how it wasn't my land but hers and why did I have to be so rude to her (I wasn't, she was) and on and on. Then I pulled the Land Registry plan out of my pocket and said, "Here's the legal boundary plan. This line here, as you can see, goes along the edge of those parking spaces there, straight across the entrance and then along her garden wall. Definitely my land, yes...?"

..................................

"So can we agree that I do in fact know where my boundary is and it is in fact there, then?"

"Well, yes. I suppose so."

"Good. Now, it appears you are in fact standing on my land. You're trespassing so fuck off, you cunt."

If he's anything like his daughter I will not be surprised if I get a knock from Plod some time later this evening for that.


Edited to add: She should get the delicious letter from our building manager tomorrow making it quite clear that if she doesn't pack it in she'll be explaining to a county court judge just why she thinks she's entitled to park her shit on someone else's land. Luckily the postie doesn't come until late morning here as I'm not getting up early doors to answer the door and listen to her ranting at me until she runs out of steam enough for me to tell her to fuck off.
 
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Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
There are two reasons that I would not allow her to buy a dishwasher.
1) There are just the two of us.
2) I cook she washes up . Usually only the items we eat from need washing as I am a very tidy cook.
Clearly not a proper chef then, my kitchen ends up looking like Hiroshima!
 
Postscript: She got her equally dumb father to come around and get in my face in a socially undistanced way. Ranting unreasonableness obviously runs in the family. I let him twat on about how it wasn't my land but hers and why did I have to be so rude to her (I wasn't, she was) and on and on. Then I pulled the Land Registry plan out of my pocket and said, "Here's the legal boundary plan. This line here, as you can see, goes along the edge of those parking spaces there, straight across the entrance and then along her garden wall. Definitely my land, yes...?"

..................................

"So can we agree that I do in fact know where my boundary is and it is in fact there, then?"

"Well, yes. I suppose so."

"Good. Now, it appears you are in fact standing on my land. You're trespassing so fuck off, you cunt."

If he's anything like his daughter I will not be surprised if I get a knock from Plod some time later this evening for that.
Set fire to the bin.
Then sue her for damages caused.
 

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