how bone is your missus.

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Read the Rebus series by Ian Rankin, instruction book . Or Val McDermids stuff. Surprisingly both Jockanese, one Edinburgh one West coast but both surprisingly clued up on the more grim sides of life!

There's an entire genre called Tartan noir.

The stories are indeed grim and lifelike.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer

colinmc400

Clanker
One of those moments when you're sat idly doing nothing and the guard is down.
Mrs RR wanders in from the kitchen.
"Do you realise it's already Thursday tomorrow, it was only Thursday the other day".

That's me buggered I will not sleep tonight.
On a similar vein, although said by my brother, who is not my missus, but is Irish, so somewhat understandable. "Don't the years fly by these days"????
 
It is. Despite the fact I forgot all about it, I'd probably rate in the top three Tom Clancy Jack Ryan books

In no particular order

The Bear and the Dragon
Without Remorse
Sum Of All Fears (talking about the book, not movie)

Other books worthy of a mention

Rainbox Six (Not exactly Jack Ryan, but still a darn good book)
Executive Orders
Debt Of Honour
Red Storm Rising.
Very good book about the Soviet Union invading the West.
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
Apparently crabs are to the corpses sub-sea as pigs are to them in the sty.

And one of the reasons why the crabs which still abound around Alderney are delicious.
 
One of those moments when you're sat idly doing nothing and the guard is down.
Mrs RR wanders in from the kitchen.
"Do you realise it's already Thursday tomorrow, it was only Thursday the other day".

That's me buggered I will not sleep tonight.
So, in summary (at the time), "it's not Thursday today and it wasn't Thursday yesterday."
 
Actually, both Rankin and McDermid are from Fife: Rankin from Cardenden and McDermid from Kirkcaldy. Both excellent writers though, I’ve read pretty much everything they’ve published.

Their research and knowledge is amazing. So much so that Dundee University has named its pathology lab after McDermid. Rankin has to make do with a street named in his honour in Cardenden.

If you want an alternative to disposing of loved ones under the patio, you could do worse than reading the output of those two.
Leaving your loved one in Cardenden is likely to be a successful method of disposing of them without trace as well.
 

Blogg

LE
One of those moments when you're sat idly doing nothing and the guard is down.
Mrs RR wanders in from the kitchen.
"Do you realise it's already Thursday tomorrow, it was only Thursday the other day".

That's me buggered I will not sleep tonight.

Ah yes, sounds familiar.

The lengthy intellectual debate on the true nature of time and our perception of it triggered by the current highlight of the week: taking the bin out.

This is closely followed by angst over which permutation or combination of black, blue, green or brown? An entire subject of itself as the local authority website on this subject is a collection of broken links
 
One of those moments when you're sat idly doing nothing and the guard is down.
Mrs RR wanders in from the kitchen.
"Do you realise it's already Thursday tomorrow, it was only Thursday the other day".

That's me buggered I will not sleep tonight.

"Yes dear, this week has been just one day after another"
 
Wardrobe FFS: Today we have to go to a funeral.

Mrs W: Holding up a very nice Black 3/4 length wool coat. "I forgot I had bought this , got it ages ago in a sale absolute bargain"

Me: FFS how many times its only a bargain if you buy something that you really need at a low price, not just because you want it ".

Mrs W: "Yes it was , cause I need it now and you are a miserable tight bastard"

Me: To myself "STFU you are not going to win this one. "

Hopefully you'll have a few more funerals to attend shortly so it won't have been a waste of money after all.
Always look on the bright side of life.:p
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
SWMBO: I've got my cardiology hospital appointment at 12:40, are you coming with me ?
Me: Of course.
We get to the hospital, navigate our way to cardiology, geezer wearing mask and gloves behind perspex screen and plastic chains for keeping plebs 2meters away takes SWMBO's letter.
Geezer: Can't find you on the system, I think you need to go to out-patients over the road.
SWMBO: No. it says on the letter this department.
Geezer: Oh yes you're right Madam, the wrong bit is the date, you're a month early ! It says March on the letter.
Me: (Sotto voce) FFS.
SWMBO: Well, there's a lot of twos on the letter so I must've thought February. They should've written it words !
Me: (Sotto voce) And breathe. Well it got us out and about anyway.
 

Blogg

LE
SWMBO: I've got my cardiology hospital appointment at 12:40, are you coming with me ?
Me: Of course.
We get to the hospital, navigate our way to cardiology, geezer wearing mask and gloves behind perspex screen and plastic chains for keeping plebs 2meters away takes SWMBO's letter.
Geezer: Can't find you on the system, I think you need to go to out-patients over the road.
SWMBO: No. it says on the letter this department.
Geezer: Oh yes you're right Madam, the wrong bit is the date, you're a month early ! It says March on the letter.
Me: (Sotto voce) FFS.
SWMBO: Well, there's a lot of twos on the letter so I must've thought February. They should've written it words !
Me: (Sotto voce) And breathe. Well it got us out

At least you were in the right hospital, not one 20+ miles away* from where the letter said.

*because that was where she had been seen last time.

No prizes for guessing precisely when this stood revealed. Nor whose fault it was.
 

RonS

Clanker
Further to my post elsewhere regarding the UK sending vaccine overseas once we're all jabbed, I was looking online to see how far other places are getting on with things.

Allowing it's only a small place, Gibraltar has got over 90 people per 100 vaccinated so far, which is very good. The UK is currently at about 28.

Her reaction when I told her the Gib number, "Well it's only a small island".
Its amazing how many people think Gib is an island.
 
Its amazing how many people think Gib is an island.
...and still manage to dress themselves in the morning.
 

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