how bone is your missus.

[RangdoOfArg]

Why do women always put things behind doors ?. My Mrs always leaves mops brushes or them swiffer things behind the back door so it cant be full opened. Her other favorite is to leave her shoes behind the front door. Thus when I arrive home I try to open the front door only for it to bounce back into my kisser.

Shoes. We are two in a fairly large house. There is a car port/shelter. Then an extension/annexe, then you enter the main house. The main house is open plan thanks to a previous owner. So loads of space to divest yourself of overcoats, umbrellas, shoes etc.
No. She enters the house, steps out of her shoes and walks on. The shoes remain where she left them, and can stay there for some time if I don’t tidy.
Perhaps she was a princess in an earlier life.
And I was a butler in another

 

[ericferret]

My Mrs favourite piece of inverted logic is to gather up the remotes for the TV, sat box, and firestick from the table next to the sofa and place them on the shelf under the TV because it’s “tidier”. My complaint that they are no longer remote controls, but simply controls, falls on deaf ears.

They are remote from you, therefore by definition they are still remote controls.
Can't see what you are complaining about.

 

[Sam The Bam]

I, and many others, have suffered with niggles. Reading your post reminds me that we shouldn't bite. It's hard, and I know I fail frequently. But it's useful to know that I'm not alone. Must remember - don't bite. Must remember.....

Just walk away and you win every time. We have been married 40+ years and in that time I have never raised my voice to her in argument or anger. She on the other hand has occasionally gone full on drama queen and to make matters worse I piss myself laughing at her when she does.

Y'see, what my wife doesn't understand is that nearly my entire working life was dealing with conflict of one sort or another. WTF wants more of that at home after that.

Just point them in the direction of your field of fvcks and let her see how barren it is. Below is a photo of the entrance to my man caves at the bottom of the stairs.

 

[NSP]

I think the conclusion we can draw from this thread is that divorce and a Fleshlight is for winners.

 

[lastwalt]

They are remote from you, therefore by definition they are still remote controls.
Can't see what you are complaining about.

Oh, I had no idea you were female.

 

[Bosscat]

Shoes. We are two in a fairly large house. There is a car port/shelter. Then an extension/annexe, then you enter the main house. The main house is open plan thanks to a previous owner. So loads of space to divest yourself of overcoats, umbrellas, shoes etc.
No. She enters the house, steps out of her shoes and walks on. The shoes remain where she left them, and can stay there for some time if I don’t tidy.
Perhaps she was a princess in an earlier life.
And I was a butler in another

Throw them in the dust/wheelie bin, she'll learn.

 

[Civvy Scum]

Shoes. We are two in a fairly large house. There is a car port/shelter. Then an extension/annexe, then you enter the main house. The main house is open plan thanks to a previous owner. So loads of space to divest yourself of overcoats, umbrellas, shoes etc.
No. She enters the house, steps out of her shoes and walks on. The shoes remain where she left them, and can stay there for some time if I don’t tidy.
Perhaps she was a princess in an earlier life.
And I was a butler in another

Mine put a pair of gloves, a paperback book and an umbrella on the bottom step a couple of months ago. "Why have you left those there?" I had the bare-faced effrontery to ask. "I'll take them upstairs and put them away later", she said. Days passed and they hadn't moved, so I moved them up 2 or 3 steps, dropping a subtle hint like.

Nothing.

So I moved them up a couple more steps.

Nothing.

They have now made their way as far as the half-landing and have been there since just before Christmas. They can stay there for me. Eventually she'll have a tidying frenzy and shift them.

Sometime in 2021.

Possibly.

 

[RangdoOfArg]

Mine put a pair of gloves, a paperback book and an umbrella on the bottom step a couple of months ago. "Why have you left those there?" I had the bare-faced effrontery to ask. "I'll take them upstairs and put them away later", she said. Days passed and they hadn't moved, so I moved them up 2 or 3 steps, dropping a subtle hint like.

Nothing.

So I moved them up a couple more steps.

Nothing.

They have now made their way as far as the half-landing and have been there since just before Christmas. They can stay there for me. Eventually she'll have a tidying frenzy and shift them.

Sometime in 2021.

Possibly.

Went to add a “like” hit wrong button.

 

[scoldog]

"You are nit-picking. You knew what I meant...."

Not even God knows what women mean most of the time.

 

[scoldog]

Wasn't this Kazakhstan's answer to the Borat movie?

 

[Linview]

Throw them in the dust/wheelie bin, she'll learn.

Mine still steps out of her footwear and walks away, the entrance way to the house is massive with a large open closet type thing for shoes, coats, hats etc with enough shoe racks for Imelda Marcos day by day the pile of shoes grows across the room, I did try chucking them down the stairs into the basement and she would just wear different shoes or wander down to the basement.
Pick your hill to die on

 

[Linview]

Mine put a pair of gloves, a paperback book and an umbrella on the bottom step a couple of months ago. "Why have you left those there?" I had the bare-faced effrontery to ask. "I'll take them upstairs and put them away later", she said. Days passed and they hadn't moved, so I moved them up 2 or 3 steps, dropping a subtle hint like.

Nothing.

So I moved them up a couple more steps.

Nothing.

They have now made their way as far as the half-landing and have been there since just before Christmas. They can stay there for me. Eventually she'll have a tidying frenzy and shift them.

Sometime in 2021.

Possibly.

Mine used to leave piles of shit/stuff at the top of the stairs to take to the basement, eventually her heart softened when I kept falling down the stairs.

 

[scoldog]

Mine used to leave piles of shit/stuff at the top of the stairs to take to the basement, eventually her heart softened when I kept falling down the stairs.

Sure that wasn't her plan all along? Has your life insurance policy been recently updated with a "falling down stairs" rider?

 

[whiffler]

Mine put a pair of gloves, a paperback book and an umbrella on the bottom step a couple of months ago. "Why have you left those there?" I had the bare-faced effrontery to ask. "I'll take them upstairs and put them away later", she said. Days passed and they hadn't moved, so I moved them up 2 or 3 steps, dropping a subtle hint like.

Nothing.

So I moved them up a couple more steps.

Nothing.

They have now made their way as far as the half-landing and have been there since just before Christmas. They can stay there for me. Eventually she'll have a tidying frenzy and shift them.

Sometime in 2021.

Possibly.

Time to start moving them down again

"It's been so long, I couldn't remember where you were going to put them"

or

"Migrating for summer"

 

[Stainmaster]

We have an overgrown oak tree in our large back garden. I duly applied to the local authority to have it reduced in size, as it subject to a TPO (tree preservation order). Toute de suite, an A4 green printed planning notice appears in the post, ready for us to laminate and display in a prominent place so that others in our neighbourhood have time to object to our planned actions if necessary.

Mrs Stain proudly proclaimed that she'd deal with putting the sign up. Guess what it is pinned to....

 

[ericferret]

Wasn't this Kazakhstan's answer to the Borat movie?

Indeed, if you can't beat them join them. Starting to think I should pay the place a visit.
They seem to have a sense of humour.

 

[ericferret]

Not even God knows what women mean most of the time.

God is a woman, thats why they live longer.

 

[Joker62]

My Mrs favourite piece of inverted logic is to gather up the remotes for the TV, sat box, and firestick from the table next to the sofa and place them on the shelf under the TV because it’s “tidier”. My complaint that they are no longer remote controls, but simply controls, falls on deaf ears.

You need one of these on the table.

 

[gorillaguts981]

Just a thought.

 

[Blogg]

Mrs B on phone for ages to her Mother who is "freezing" because they still haven't got any heating oil and most likely won't until Wednesday because of the snow.

What? How can they possibly be "freezing" In a house with:

2x Woodburners

Various portable oil filled electric rads. and fan heaters purchased for them last time they forgot to order oil.

Gas Range running off BFO propane cylinders

Immersion heater for hot water

Electric shower

"That's not the point! You just don't understand how terribly worrying it all is!"

Quite right. I really, really don't