how bone is your missus.

[Old Stab]

Nice deep foundation, stone flagged floor, big open hearth I take it.

I wish.
Ripping out the fitted units and replacing it with shelving.
Swapping the layout of the sink etc. Making it more open plan, things to hand in Kilmer jars.
Making the worktops to measure myself. So loads of glue, no nails and gaps for things to fall into.

 

[lastwalt]

Mine wants a new kitchen.
I've told her that while the works are going on EVERYTHING will have to be cooked on the BBQ.

She's waiting until the summer.

We were meant to be having a new kitchen last May. That was postponed for obvious reasons. Then our builder had a backlog of work and it got rescheduled for 11th January, and the manufacture of the kitchen units got the green light.
Now I have bits of a new kitchen in the garage, in my office, in the dining room and in the lounge.

As far as cooking goes, my wife bought a table top induction hob. That's in my office as well.

 

[RTU'd]

Ex wife has been bragging to her friends she still goes dogging in tier 4.

Now bragging in Tier 5.
If in the Guildford area you might have got a nasty itch/discharge from her.

 

[Old Stab]

We were meant to be having a new kitchen last May. That was postponed for obvious reasons. Then our builder had a backlog of work and it got rescheduled for 11th January, and the manufacture of the kitchen units got the green light.
Now I have bits of a new kitchen in the garage, in my office, in the dining room and in the lounge.

As far as cooking goes, my wife bought a table top induction hob. That's in my office as well.

I've told her that while the works are going on, she can get outside and cook on the BBQ.

 

[Wightsparker]

We signed up for one of those fresh meals in a box companies, as a trial. I registered using my email address but with her phone number. Delivery day was imminent and I receive an email telling me what time our box is due to arrive; I relay this information to her.
"I know, I've had an email from them as well".
"How, when they only have my email address?"
"They must have mine too then. Look".
"That's a text message babe, not an email".
"Oh yeah".

"You are nit-picking. You knew what I meant...."

 

[AsterixTG]

I've told her that while the works are going on, she can get outside and cook on the BBQ.

Wondered what that smoke East over the hills was...

 

[Old Stab]

Wondered what that smoke East over the hills was...

That's next door but one.
Putting wet wood on his log burner again.

 

[ericferret]

Mine wants a new kitchen.
I've told her that while the works are going on EVERYTHING will have to be cooked on the BBQ.

She's waiting until the summer.

Mine doesn't want a new kitchen.
The kitchen was there when we moved in 35 years ago and was probably bought as a cheap kitchen 10 or more years before that..

The wall cabinets were clearly knocked up by a local joiner in a hurry.
Nothing really fits properly and I would like a new kitchen.
Have broached the subject more than once with the missus.

"Why whats wrong with it"

Its a pile of crap!!!!

"Does the job"

Yeah but!!!

"You spend more time in the kitchen than I do. I don't care about it".

All women are weird but mine is excessively weird.
Every woman wants a new kitchen every 3 years "says so in the scriptures". Not mine.!!!!

 

[Lardbeast]

I wish.
Ripping out the fitted units and replacing it with shelving.
Swapping the layout of the sink etc. Making it more open plan, things to hand in Kilmer jars.
Making the worktops to measure myself. So loads of glue, no nails and gaps for things to fall into.

Not leaving yourself many options to dispose of the body, are you?

 

[Old Stab]

Not leaving yourself many options to dispose of the body, are you?

Severn estuary is 20 miles away.
Chicken wire, concrete blocks.. Crabs will do the rest.

 

[wheel]

Mine doesn't want a new kitchen.
The kitchen was there when we moved in 35 years ago and was probably bought as a cheap kitchen 10 or more years before that..

The wall cabinets were clearly knocked up by a local joiner in a hurry.
Nothing really fits properly and I would like a new kitchen.
Have broached the subject more than once with the missus.

"Why whats wrong with it"

Its a pile of crap!!!!

"Does the job"

Yeah but!!!

"You spend more time in the kitchen than I do. I don't care about it".

All women are weird but mine is excessively weird.
Every woman wants a new kitchen every 3 years it's a fact. Not mine.!!!!

Count your blessings mate, we had a new kitchen a few years back. It was not cheap. Within a few weeks she wanted to change the sink and inside six months she wanted to change the worktops as she had gone off the colour/pattern.
I do 99.9% of the cooking although the sink is her territory as I would not agree to a dishwasher. So the kitchen stays the same.

 

[Sam The Bam]

Herself one day comes out with that she's tired of the kitchen and how it looks. My reply of paint it then wasn't well received but credit to her, paint it is what she's doing and I have to admit she's making a pretty good job of it.

 

[Kirkz]

I'm glad I'm divorced.
My gaff was built circa 1960 still has the original kitchen.
It isn't getting changed anytime soon.

 

[Blogg]

Mrs B's mother calls: she and witless husband have run out of heating oil. Again

First available delivery next Monday at best. Woe. Panic.

Mrs B turns to me and says:

"Do you think (Brother in Law) could buy some and drop it round to them?"

Given the 2500 litre tank and the rate they get through it, a very great effort required but did manage not to laugh

"Tell her to ask him. He has nothing better to do at present"

Time passes. BiL calls.

"I suppose you think that was funny"

 

[ExREME.TECH]

I'm glad I'm divorced.
My gaff was built circa 1960 still has the original kitchen.
It isn't getting changed anytime soon.

No skips at B&Q?

 

[Kirkz]

No skips at B&Q?

I think they're in a locked compound which would make going to them trespassing.

 

[NSP]

Conversely, I do want a new kitchen. I've had the quote and picked my tiles and everything, got the 3D renderings - the lot. The day the fitters were supposed to come and check the measurements were correct and the design would fit and sort out the last details Boris shut us in again. It's been a year and I've still not got a new kitchen, bathroom or double-glazing units.

I've made a fortune out of this mine-hunting malarkey. Can I spend any of it? Can I fuck!!

Boris; you're a fucking shitwhistler of an inept cunt!!

Ditto those Commie wankflutes that let the Wuflu out in the first place.

 

[no f in beer]

Conversely, I do want a new kitchen. I've had the quote and picked my tiles and everything, got the 3D renderings - the lot. The day the fitters were supposed to come and check the measurements were correct and the design would fit and sort out the last details Boris shut us in again. It's been a year and I've still not got a new kitchen, bathroom or double-glazing units.

I've made a fortune out of this mine-hunting malarkey. Can I spend any of it? Can I fuck!!

Boris; you're a fucking shitwhistler of an inept cunt!!

Ditto those Commie wankflutes that let the Wuflu out in the first place.

<drift> New kitchen fitted last week, Done by Wrens, very nice.

She now thinks we should brick up back door so fridge freezer can move, as it blocks the view of the oven!

Ffrench doors to be put in where window is <sigh>

 

[Civvy Scum]

Mine doesn't want a new kitchen.
The kitchen was there when we moved in 35 years ago and was probably bought as a cheap kitchen 10 or more years before that..

The wall cabinets were clearly knocked up by a local joiner in a hurry.
Nothing really fits properly and I would like a new kitchen.
Have broached the subject more than once with the missus.

"Why whats wrong with it"

Its a pile of crap!!!!

"Does the job"

Yeah but!!!

"You spend more time in the kitchen than I do. I don't care about it".

All women are weird but mine is excessively weird.
Every woman wants a new kitchen every 3 years it's a fact. Not mine.!!!!

She's a bloke and you're a sausage jockey. It's OK for you to come out and admit this, we won't mock.











Much.

 

[ericferret]

She's a bloke and you're a sausage jockey. It's OK for you to come out and admit this, we won't mock.











Much.

Our two daughters will be shocked to find out they are adopted.