how bone is your missus.

[Auld-Yin]

I think she realised she'd stepped over the line. There was a small, nervous giggle, then silence. Beautiful silence.

As I said, you is lucky!

 

[BossHogg]

I should be so lucky.

Kylie Minogue Walt!

 

[wheel]

Kylie Minogue Walt!

LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY

 

[ericferret]

What size was the circular bowl? How big was the knife? Any idea of the terminal velocity as you let it go? A good guess at the angle from arm to sink?

Asking for a friend......

The main thing appears to be having the bowl leaning at an angle in the sink.
Shoulder height to sink at a distance of about six feet. Interesting that the knife post bowl came out point first. No matter how hard I try a thrown knife always spins.,

 

[scoldog]

LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY

getting a bit Carried Away there.

 

[PuriPuriManTumas]

Sat down with mrs Simmerit last night to watch the Crown - the one where Chalie boy and Di go to 'Ayres Dock' in Aus (which is a classic in itself).

At the end of it, she turns round and asks 'when did Australia stop being part of the what you ma call it?'

'The commonwealth you mean?' 'Are you asking me when Australia became a Republic?'

'Yes' she says.

Scary.

Yair, but the [targetted audience] Septics are lapping it up ... as, regretfully, are some of our Antipodean uneducateables.

 

[Linview]

The main thing appears to be having the bowl leaning at an angle in the sink.
Shoulder height to sink at a distance of about six feet. Interesting that the knife post bowl came out point first. No matter how hard I try a thrown knife always spins.,

This would work in the same way as when you drop something important it instantly becomes invisible to the human eye by rolling uphill over rough terrain for 30ft until it comes to rest against a background of exactly the same colour, if the object you dropped is sharp you will find 3 months later when you tread on it, unless it’s a 10mm socket you’ll never see that again, not on this plain of existence.
The same rule covers all of the unexplained events that can never be repeated, you can go ahead and try throwing the knife in the sink indefinitely and eventually the knife will bounce off and embed itself in your forehead and the forensic team and the coroner will call it an accidental unexplainable death.
Try to imagine a situation were the Mother In Law says ‘I’m proud of you’ and you get the idea

 

[Gubmint_Agent]

She's searching for home insurance quotes online.
"In our postcode, XY0 ABC, in the 'XY zero' bit at the start, is it a zero or is it an 'o' like a letter?"
"Eh? You mean, is the zero a zero?"
"Yes"
<sigh>

 

[ericferret]

She's searching for home insurance quotes online.
"In our postcode, XY0 ABC, in the 'XY zero' bit at the start, is it a zero or is it an 'o' like a letter?"
"Eh? You mean, is the zero a zero?"
"Yes"
<sigh>

Don't be too hard on her, our company computer system for spares only uses zero's no 0's even in a letter sequence.

 

[TBGB]

Should any of our correspondents on this thread require an alibi or character reference (I've known you all 40+ years, served together and thoroughly decent chaps), it shall be freely given. I would hope some of you might reciprocate if needed.

Problem is you'll have 5 alibis putting you in different places at the same time.

 

[gorillaguts981]

Problem is you'll have 5 alibis putting you in different places at the same time.

Alas it is true; I can't multitask like my wife, or as I put it 'can't f*****g prioritise'.

 

[Joker62]

Bangers and mash for dinner tonight, asks the Mrs how many sausages she wanted, she asks what packs we had, had a pack of 8 and a pack of 12, her answer? 5, fkin 5 so I have to open up the big pack instead of the little one.

Sent from my SM-N976B using Tapatalk

 

[gorillaguts981]

Bangers and mash for dinner tonight, asks the Mrs how many sausages she wanted, she asks what packs we had, had a pack of 8 and a pack of 12, her answer? 5, fkin 5 so I have to open up the big pack instead of the little one.

Sent from my SM-N976B using Tapatalk

She gets a choice?

 

[Legs]

Bangers and mash for dinner tonight, asks the Mrs how many sausages she wanted, she asks what packs we had, had a pack of 8 and a pack of 12, her answer? 5, fkin 5 so I have to open up the big pack instead of the little one.

Sent from my SM-N976B using Tapatalk

You really should know better.

ONE FUCKIN' SAUSAGE!!!

 

[Helm]

Bangers and mash for dinner tonight, asks the Mrs how many sausages she wanted, she asks what packs we had, had a pack of 8 and a pack of 12, her answer? 5, fkin 5 so I have to open up the big pack instead of the little one.

Sent from my SM-N976B using Tapatalk

FIVE sausages? Is your missus Diane Abbot?

 

[Daz]

Bangers and mash for dinner tonight, asks the Mrs how many sausages she wanted, she asks what packs we had, had a pack of 8 and a pack of 12, her answer? 5, fkin 5 so I have to open up the big pack instead of the little one.

Sent from my SM-N976B using Tapatalk

Fat bastards

 

[Old Stab]

FIVE sausages? Is your missus Diane Abbot?

Nahh.
She'd have asked for eleventyseven cooked well done rare.

 

[kelvin_273]

Bangers and mash for dinner tonight, asks the Mrs how many sausages she wanted, she asks what packs we had, had a pack of 8 and a pack of 12, her answer? 5, fkin 5 so I have to open up the big pack instead of the little one.

Sent from my SM-N976B using Tapatalk

Couldn't you just have had three joker?

 

[Kirkz]

Couldn't you just have had three joker?

He'd lose three between his teeth.

 

[721CXT]

We did the Christmas cards a couple of days ago. For the past few years I've accepted a role in this - she does the cards, I do the envelopes.
Every year we have the same ..... conversation:
Her: "I'm cutting down the list this year, some of these people we haven't seen for thirty years".
Me "Is it worth it? One cheap charity card and 2nd class stamp against them assuming one or both of us has snuffed it and all the shite that'll kick off, cards are a way of checking in."

This year I just said OK, whatever.

Today.
Her "BUGGERIT! We just got a card from KIm, what should I do?"
Me "First of a few I'm guess, I'm saying nothing; except I told....."
Her "Shut up! You can do the card."

I've told her she'll be doing the rest.