Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

how bone is your missus.

Well fortunately she's now got her "Craft room" upstairs, so hopefully she'll be up there most of the time. God I hope so!

Edit: She's talking about getting the kitchen totally redone and the bedroom sorted out. I think we'll be getting someone to do all that shit, buggered if I'm tackling her good idea!
You could consider putting a lock/bolt on the OUTSIDE of the craft room door ?! ;) .
 
You could consider putting a lock/bolt on the OUTSIDE of the craft room door ?! ;) .
I did point out that if we bought a small fridge and a kettle for the craft room she could stay upstairs all the time. Strangely that suggestion wasn't met with approval.
 
And just in case you aren't laying a patio

WInAfG9.png
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
Day one of Amazon Prime Day deals, OH spots a new vacuum (she managed to kill the other one somehow), Shark cordless stick jobby, reduced from £379 to £199 and asks if she should get it. I point out that it won't matter as she'll be the only one using it (unless she pops off early) and it'll have to suit her (as my opinion doesn't really count when it comes to domestic goods).
 
Day one of Amazon Prime Day deals, OH spots a new vacuum (she managed to kill the other one somehow), Shark cordless stick jobby, reduced from £379 to £199 and asks if she should get it. I point out that it won't matter as she'll be the only one using it (unless she pops off early) and it'll have to suit her (as my opinion doesn't really count when it comes to domestic goods).
On the other hand when it comes to us males they have no reservations at all about giving their opinion on why this particular purchase is a bag of shit, way too expensive, there are much cheaper alternatives, that we don't need a new one anyway, or we should fix the old one and be happy.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
On the other hand when it comes to us males they have no reservations at all about giving their opinion on why this particular purchase is a bag of shit, way too expensive, there are much cheaper alternatives, that we don't need a new one anyway, or we should fix the old one and be happy.
No worries there, I've just managed to talk her into getting a 100 watt sound bar for the TV on Prime (and it didn't take that much to convince her how much we needed it either) :mrgreen:
 
Day one of Amazon Prime Day deals, OH spots a new vacuum (she managed to kill the other one somehow), Shark cordless stick jobby, reduced from £379 to £199 and asks if she should get it. I point out that it won't matter as she'll be the only one using it (unless she pops off early) and it'll have to suit her (as my opinion doesn't really count when it comes to domestic goods).
Ex Doris had problems replacing the bag in vacuum cleaners (that she often bought because she didn't like the old one) despite the many attempts at showing her what to do. After a while I got the shits and bought a water filter vacuum cleaner. Just fill the tank up with water, vacuum and empty when done.

Bloody hell, was that a mistake.
 

Blogg

LE
Mrs B been in conclave with sisters for days. Eventually a puff of white smoke and lesser mortals, like me and my brothers in law,, can be informed of the great "decision"

"We are going to have to do something" about the state of the road to her mothers house, which is now so bad after the heavy rain it is impassible to most cars and many delivery drivers won't even attempt it. He has a RAV4 and that is grounding out in places. Their cleaner and gardener have blown them out as a direct result. The horror!

That would be the private round she and idiot husband (despite both being well minted in own right) refused to contribute to having resurfaced some years back. Since they are last house on road the lovely metalled surface all the others chipped in for stops a fair way from their house and becomes the washed out mess of badly patched potholes, water filled craters and erosion channels it now is.

Since the BIL population includes 2 Civil Engineers, somehow they will" sort it out" and we will all pay for it. Obviously.

Imagine the shock, horror and surprise when that gets met with blank refusals all round. One BIL will assist in getting non stupid quotes for work to a proper standard via his contacts but that is it. They can pay for their own arrogance and stupdity in full. Oh and BTW, don't expect anything can get sorted this side of Christmas.

Gasp. That can't be right! Can't we just fill the really bad bits in? No.

Requires a lot of material, equipment hire + maybe a weeks worth of labourers just to do a shit job and will be rubbish in months because main problems are compounded by no effective drainage. Waste of time and money. They will have to lump it until it can be done properly. (That's from somebody who does Highways design and construction work)

Wobbly noises. How can we be so horrible? Must "do something"! Don't we care about their precious mother?

No. Never have, never will.

She is a mean, emotionally manipulative woman who, having fcuked up the life of their father and made their teenage years hellish by buggering off into a multi year silence without so much as a single word, has been playing them all like fiddles since she resurfaced

Once again I am A Very Bad Person and sniffy upset rules

At least I have something in common with my BIL's at last
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
weve been in deep lockdown since march. I have decided today to grow a Hitler mustache to see how long it is before she notices.
so this morning she say , oi you've got a Hitler mustache ! Hooray says I , you now go in the Arrse book of records ! what i written above .
oh I spotted it during the week so's theres no need to tell Arrse in fact I noticed it twice .
Aha says I it only counts when you mention it .

Her response was unprintable and she will; pull my knackers off and use them as clackers I f i mention it on here .
 
Mrs B been in conclave with sisters for days. Eventually a puff of white smoke and lesser mortals, like me and my brothers in law,, can be informed of the great "decision"

"We are going to have to do something" about the state of the road to her mothers house, which is now so bad after the heavy rain it is impassible to most cars and many delivery drivers won't even attempt it. He has a RAV4 and that is grounding out in places. Their cleaner and gardener have blown them out as a direct result. The horror!

That would be the private round she and idiot husband (despite both being well minted in own right) refused to contribute to having resurfaced some years back. Since they are last house on road the lovely metalled surface all the others chipped in for stops a fair way from their house and becomes the washed out mess of badly patched potholes, water filled craters and erosion channels it now is.

Since the BIL population includes 2 Civil Engineers, somehow they will" sort it out" and we will all pay for it. Obviously.

Imagine the shock, horror and surprise when that gets met with blank refusals all round. One BIL will assist in getting non stupid quotes for work to a proper standard via his contacts but that is it. They can pay for their own arrogance and stupdity in full. Oh and BTW, don't expect anything can get sorted this side of Christmas.

Gasp. That can't be right! Can't we just fill the really bad bits in? No.

Requires a lot of material, equipment hire + maybe a weeks worth of labourers just to do a shit job and will be rubbish in months because main problems are compounded by no effective drainage. Waste of time and money. They will have to lump it until it can be done properly. (That's from somebody who does Highways design and construction work)

Wobbly noises. How can we be so horrible? Must "do something"! Don't we care about their precious mother?

No. Never have, never will.

She is a mean, emotionally manipulative woman who, having fcuked up the life of their father and made their teenage years hellish by buggering off into a multi year silence without so much as a single word, has been playing them all like fiddles since she resurfaced

Once again I am A Very Bad Person and sniffy upset rules

At least I have something in common with my BIL's at last
Sounds very familiar...
 
That's spooky. The solar panels on our roof are doing quite well this month, although, not surprisingly, as the daylight hours get shorter the production rate falls. This morning, Mrs W casually mentioned that there would be quite a big drop in the figures from tomorrow as a result of the clocks going back.

I laughed, then realised she wasn't joking. I patiently explained that whatever hours we choose to call it when the sun rises and sets, the effect of the sun on the panels remains the same.

She still can't accept it. And she is a trained teacher.......


Nearly a year later, and I thought she had finally come to terms with the basic principles of the length of time between sunrise and sunset, and how that time varies through the year. The solar panels are doing quite well again for October, and over breakfast I mentioned that they had chalked up nearly 12 kilowatt hours yesterday.

"That's good", she said. "But the clocks go back again soon. Spring forward, fall back."

I was taking a swig of tea, and she detected a very slight snort from me. She gave me a hard stare. "But the days are getting shorter, aren't they?" she said.

I settled for: "Yes, dear."
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
so this morning she say , oi you've got a Hitler mustache ! Hooray says I , you now go in the Arrse book of records ! what i written above .
oh I spotted it during the week so's theres no need to tell Arrse in fact I noticed it twice .
Aha says I it only counts when you mention it .

Her response was unprintable and she will; pull my knackers off and use them as clackers I f i mention it on here .
No way are you getting a "Seig" :)
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
She's decided she's going to retire at the end of March.

This morning she came downstairs with some paperwork in hand that tells her how much pension she will be getting. "I'm worried I won't be getting what it says here, because I'm part time".

"Why would that be the case when the paperwork clearly says you're part time and thus this is what you'll be getting", caused much brow furrowing until dawn finally broke. "Oh yeah". FS

I'm really going to enjoy having her at home all day aren't i?

Can't recall if I have already posted this.

April I said to Mrs F that she should contact the public pension agency. Told no need.

Repeated in May and June.

Mid June was her hitting her work pension age.
Nothing happened.

End of July she finally contacted them to be told they need 90days notice.

Not idea what paperwork she filled out but it appears that she was back in touch this week as it's not quite right.

And she returned to work in August!
 
Can't recall if I have already posted this.

April I said to Mrs F that she should contact the public pension agency. Told no need.

Repeated in May and June.

Mid June was her hitting her work pension age.
Nothing happened.

End of July she finally contacted them to be told they need 90days notice.

Not idea what paperwork she filled out but it appears that she was back in touch this week as it's not quite right.

And she returned to work in August!
Let me guess, "Oooo, you're so clever, aren't you? My mother was right about you, etc., etc."?
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Let me guess, "Oooo, you're so clever, aren't you? My mother was right about you, etc., etc."?

I get the former thrown at me all too frequently!
 

Latest Threads

Top