Best laugh out loud today. ThanksI’m away at the moment and received a call from my lovely lady in tears that someone two doors down had hung themselves from a garden tree...she immediately called the old bill, 6 turned up plus paramedics....
Turns out the neighbours were drying a wetsuit out. View attachment 505968
Picked her up from work this evening and as we got about a quarter of a mile from home there's a burglar alarm going. Then another. Then another. "Sounds like a power cut", sez I.
Sure enough we got home and the power was off. So she sits down and picks up her Kindle.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm going on the intern-oh yeah", she says as she puts the Kindle back down.
Then reaches up above her to turn on the standard lamp that is directly over her head.
Cue flicking of switch a couple of times until dawn breaks.
So she asks me if I'd make her a coffee, as she'd been on her feet all day. "How do I do that?" resulted in a puzzled expression for a couple of seconds then another "Oh yeah". FS.
A little later I noticed that the lights on the modem had just come on, so I say, "Looks like the power is back on, the modem has just started back up". **** me but that Kindle was back in her hand quicker than a Scotsman picking up a dropped penny.
"It's not working", she says. "You need to give it a minute or two to boot up, especially as the whole system outside of the house is also probably booting back up", was me "Being a clever sod". Again.
Honda Deauville, Yamaha Virago and Suzuki Intruder TART'S HANDBAGS !!!!! Gayer than a gay thing from gaysville gaylandshire.Lass I know seems to go for that type
last one knocked her around very badly
he is always on facebook putting pictures up of himself looking hard in a leather waistcoat, with the hells angels letters around him, and befriending hells angels online
the thing is when I helped her out, i had to fix the toilet seat, he had one of those things with handles and a raised lid as he could not use the toilet, his motorcycle was a Honda Deaville, a perfectly nice machine, but not a hard assed bikers machine
odd that you never see the whole bike in his pictures
I was sorting her car out for her and he appeared, in his bloody motability car, I had reffited the loo seat and left the old persons shitstand outside, he got out of the car and was a bit rude to me, so I asked loudly ( never very diplomatic me ) you come for your shitstand you fat cripple
it all went downhill after that
he even uses his brother name on facebook
trouble is she has picked another one the same, he has already releived her of her motorcycle, and shows no signs of paying yet
so thats another visit I am going to have to make
after that she is on her own