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how bone is your missus.

She has a tendency to go for that 'bad' boys...but those are addicts with no work history who have been looked after all their lives whether they care to admit it or not. The latest one was carved from the same branch; rake thin, rotten teeth, but a bit of a lad. Then the jealousy and insecurity came to the fore, and the facade slipped.

@NSPgood words, I will.

Those are not bad boys, they're just cunts.

The real bad boys are the quiet ones who mow the lawn on a Saturday afternoon and wear a mil issue Rolex.
 
Those are not bad boys, they're just cunts.

The real bad boys are the quiet ones who mow the lawn on a Saturday afternoon and wear a mil issue Rolex.
Correct, but try telling that to them. I knew one lass, all you had to do was stand on a stage with a guitar round your neck. Being able to play it was optional.
 

Tool

LE
HiD has had Flu innoculations every year since about forever. She phoned the docs about 3 weeks ago, and they told her the earliest appintment was yesterday (as in "Saturday 3 weeks time") for the jab. She accepted, and told me not to forget. She also put a reminder into her phone and set two alarms. Friday night was chaotic - called at 10:30PM by a family member in trouble, so spent most of the night driving around the county. I'm sitting in the lounge at 9:30 AM in a zombie-like state when she comes storming down stairs. She then has a go at me about it being my fault that she missed the appointment, and it will be MONTHS before she can get a new appointment, and ... how she missed the alarms. After a faff, she tries to get hold of the clinic, but it's Saturday and there is no reception on a Saturday. The Clinic phones to remind her that she should be there, and she explains that we are only 5 minutes away (true) and we're on our way (ummm). She then tells me that there is time for her to have a shower... I did manage to talk her out of it, as the clinic would have been closed by the time she finished drying her hair and doing whateverthefuck females do in the bathroom for an hour in the morning.

Later yesterday, she turned the volume up on her phone and took it off vibrate. Somehow, she can now hear her reminder chimes and alarms.
 

wheel

LE
HiD has had Flu innoculations every year since about forever. She phoned the docs about 3 weeks ago, and they told her the earliest appintment was yesterday (as in "Saturday 3 weeks time") for the jab. She accepted, and told me not to forget. She also put a reminder into her phone and set two alarms. Friday night was chaotic - called at 10:30PM by a family member in trouble, so spent most of the night driving around the county. I'm sitting in the lounge at 9:30 AM in a zombie-like state when she comes storming down stairs. She then has a go at me about it being my fault that she missed the appointment, and it will be MONTHS before she can get a new appointment, and ... how she missed the alarms. After a faff, she tries to get hold of the clinic, but it's Saturday and there is no reception on a Saturday. The Clinic phones to remind her that she should be there, and she explains that we are only 5 minutes away (true) and we're on our way (ummm). She then tells me that there is time for her to have a shower... I did manage to talk her out of it, as the clinic would have been closed by the time she finished drying her hair and doing whateverthefuck females do in the bathroom for an hour in the morning.

Later yesterday, she turned the volume up on her phone and took it off vibrate. Somehow, she can now hear her reminder chimes and alarms.
The alarm should still function even if volume turned down or on silent
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
She has a tendency to go for that 'bad' boys...but those are addicts with no work history who have been looked after all their lives whether they care to admit it or not. The latest one was carved from the same branch; rake thin, rotten teeth, but a bit of a lad. Then the jealousy and insecurity came to the fore, and the facade slipped.

@NSPgood words, I will.
he needs educating
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
That is the sad truth of it.
Lass I know seems to go for that type
last one knocked her around very badly
he is always on facebook putting pictures up of himself looking hard in a leather waistcoat, with the hells angels letters around him, and befriending hells angels online
the thing is when I helped her out, i had to fix the toilet seat, he had one of those things with handles and a raised lid as he could not use the toilet, his motorcycle was a Honda Deaville, a perfectly nice machine, but not a hard assed bikers machine
odd that you never see the whole bike in his pictures
I was sorting her car out for her and he appeared, in his bloody motability car, I had reffited the loo seat and left the old persons shitstand outside, he got out of the car and was a bit rude to me, so I asked loudly ( never very diplomatic me ) you come for your shitstand you fat cripple

it all went downhill after that
he even uses his brother name on facebook
trouble is she has picked another one the same, he has already releived her of her motorcycle, and shows no signs of paying yet
so thats another visit I am going to have to make
after that she is on her own
 

NSP

LE
She has a tendency to go for that 'bad' boys...but those are addicts with no work history who have been looked after all their lives whether they care to admit it or not. The latest one was carved from the same branch; rake thin, rotten teeth, but a bit of a lad. Then the jealousy and insecurity came to the fore, and the facade slipped.

@NSPgood words, I will.
If she needs someone who won't treat her like a doormat I'm free.

If she's buck-toothed, knock-kneed and doesn't take it up the wrong'un I might have to dip out, though.

;)
 

NSP

LE
Atrocious humour notwithstanding, just make sure she's safe, mate.
 
Lass I know seems to go for that type
last one knocked her around very badly
he is always on facebook putting pictures up of himself looking hard in a leather waistcoat, with the hells angels letters around him, and befriending hells angels online
the thing is when I helped her out, i had to fix the toilet seat, he had one of those things with handles and a raised lid as he could not use the toilet, his motorcycle was a Honda Deaville, a perfectly nice machine, but not a hard assed bikers machine
odd that you never see the whole bike in his pictures
I was sorting her car out for her and he appeared, in his bloody motability car, I had reffited the loo seat and left the old persons shitstand outside, he got out of the car and was a bit rude to me, so I asked loudly ( never very diplomatic me ) you come for your shitstand you fat cripple

it all went downhill after that
he even uses his brother name on facebook
trouble is she has picked another one the same, he has already releived her of her motorcycle, and shows no signs of paying yet
so thats another visit I am going to have to make
after that she is on her own
A Honda Deauville??? I wouldn't be seen dead on one, rideable bidets.
 
She was still wittering on about goat pregnancy testing at 04:00, then it went quiet.
I fell out of bed at 06:00 to walk the hounds and was scolded with " Dont you know I',m trying to sleep "

I've kept out of the house until now , just to be sure.
Christ, I thought I was the only one who had to put up with females getting up at insane oclock in the morning to do something bone like start the dishwasher so it would be done in the morning because she gave up trying to learn the timer feature on it.

Me, I'd have the dishwasher loaded before I went to bed and set to start for midnight. Wake up and everything was done
 
Last edited:
Lass I know seems to go for that type
last one knocked her around very badly
he is always on facebook putting pictures up of himself looking hard in a leather waistcoat, with the hells angels letters around him, and befriending hells angels online
the thing is when I helped her out, i had to fix the toilet seat, he had one of those things with handles and a raised lid as he could not use the toilet, his motorcycle was a Honda Deaville, a perfectly nice machine, but not a hard assed bikers machine
odd that you never see the whole bike in his pictures
I was sorting her car out for her and he appeared, in his bloody motability car, I had reffited the loo seat and left the old persons shitstand outside, he got out of the car and was a bit rude to me, so I asked loudly ( never very diplomatic me ) you come for your shitstand you fat cripple

it all went downhill after that
he even uses his brother name on facebook
trouble is she has picked another one the same, he has already releived her of her motorcycle, and shows no signs of paying yet
so thats another visit I am going to have to make
after that she is on her own

Ja, a mate's sister has form for attracting the type. She's married to one now who shot his mouth off about being an aerobatic pilot until he clocked her brother as an aircraft engineer and me as a pilot, at which point he wound it down in front of us, but apparently still tries to impress the gullible elsewhere.

A previous one spent an afternoon at a braai wibbling about being a tandem instructor until he was quietly put right and had it pointed out to him her brother and I both have connections to what is a very small community.

None have tried to chuck her around from what I know, but I think the thought of her ex para brother taking offence might have had some bearing on that.
 
Picked her up from work this evening and as we got about a quarter of a mile from home there's a burglar alarm going. Then another. Then another. "Sounds like a power cut", sez I.

Sure enough we got home and the power was off. So she sits down and picks up her Kindle.

"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm going on the intern-oh yeah", she says as she puts the Kindle back down.
Then reaches up above her to turn on the standard lamp that is directly over her head.
Cue flicking of switch a couple of times until dawn breaks.

So she asks me if I'd make her a coffee, as she'd been on her feet all day. "How do I do that?" resulted in a puzzled expression for a couple of seconds then another "Oh yeah". FS.

A little later I noticed that the lights on the modem had just come on, so I say, "Looks like the power is back on, the modem has just started back up". Fuck me but that Kindle was back in her hand quicker than a Scotsman picking up a dropped penny.

"It's not working", she says. "You need to give it a minute or two to boot up, especially as the whole system outside of the house is also probably booting back up", was me "Being a clever sod". Again.
 

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