how bone is your missus.

True. If they're not yammering and flapping their gums they may have to start thinking. That means they'll be getting ideas and that's even more bloody dangerous
I'm going to inject a bit of black humour here.....

My wife has suffered from a lesser-known branch of dementia called NPH (Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus) for a number of years. As her health degrades certain features become highlighted.

The latest is that she can't think and do something else at the same time. For example, if she's walking she has to stop, think and then carry on when that thought has passed. Or, if I'm unlucky, she'll talk about that thought which normal constitutes her standing like a bloody statue for as long has she articulates that thought.

Most of the time it's funny but sometimes she stands in doorways and becomes a mobile chicane, which means if I need to make a quick dash to the bog things could become difficult :)
 
Why do they do this? Similarly, I got (I hadn't asked and wasn't remotely interested) a blow by blow account of a movie she'd watched on Netflix.

I shit you not, it would have been a LOT quicker if I'd just watched the movie myself!
I have tried to get my own back by telling her the gruesome details of any little trip out of the house.
I even bore myself while doing it. However it seems that she pretty much expects the report.
Dunno.
 

Helm

MIA
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Book Reviewer
I'm going to inject a bit of black humour here.....

My wife has suffered from a lesser-known branch of dementia called NPH (Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus) for a number of years. As her health degrades certain features become highlighted.

The latest is that she can't think and do something else at the same time. For example, if she's walking she has to stop, think and then carry on when that thought has passed. Or, if I'm unlucky, she'll talk about that thought which normal constitutes her standing like a bloody statue for as long has she articulates that thought.

Most of the time it's funny but sometimes she stands in doorways and becomes a mobile chicane, which means if I need to make a quick dash to the bog things could become difficult :)
Mount her on one of these, job jobbed
 
I'd probably have to extract her from the bushes in the garden every hour
Or you could pretend you haven't noticed the predicament she's in and just leave her in the bushes. It's what I'd do.
 
...Most of the time it's funny but sometimes she stands in doorways and becomes a mobile chicane...
They all do that. Any kind of bottleneck is where they'll stop and go blank. If you ask them to move, or in the case of a stranger, a pointed 'Excuse me!', laying on the sarcasm with a trowel, you're quite obviously an extremely rude idiot for even stepping off the escalator behind them in the first place.

In a just universe they'd all be put to work digging ditches, and the little treasure between their legs would be available in a microwaveable cardboard carton for single use and disposal.
 
I have tried to get my own back by telling her the gruesome details of any little trip out of the house.
I even bore myself while doing it. However it seems that she pretty much expects the report.
Dunno.
I was talking to a bloke I know about my last shooting trip out and the critters I had bagged when his ball & chain stuck her nose in for no other reason than an excuse to start talking. I just kept going thinking it would make her clam up and piss off.

It didn't. She started telling me I was a sick cnut for shooting poor innocent foxes in a country that has them listed as feral pests. This is the same dozy cow that told me about her cat constantly bringing dead birds home for her.
 
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After almost three months on furlough and having to suffer SWMBO day and night she Today broke silence with the best thing I have ever heard from her mouth "Shall we have a chippy tea on Friday?"!! Knock me down with a feather! I didnt need to think twice before answering :)
 
Careful @DaveDaffe,
She has obviously got something planned for you and it ain't going to be nice!
 
Careful @DaveDaffe,
She has obviously got something planned for you and it ain't going to be nice!
Yeah took me about 3 seconds to think "hmmmmm what's has she done or wanting to do or about to do?" But it's now been 5 hours since the convo and I'm keeping an eye on the bank account and nothing going on there....

Winner Winner Chippy Dinner?
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
I have tried to get my own back by telling her the gruesome details of any little trip out of the house.
I even bore myself while doing it. However it seems that she pretty much expects the report.
Dunno.
yore lucky mate even after 40 years when watching a film its still
whose he / whats just happened ? have we seen this before ? why are his jumpers red ? an so on an so forth.
Also when she comes into the room why does she have to stand between me and the telly for five minutes to check whats on and if she wants to watch it !!
 
I've just had the full resume of last night's 'Holby City' since it hasn't been on for a few weeks.

WTF she thought I'd be interested I have no idea!

I'll watch a couple of Luthers back to back on Netflix tonight and tell her all about it tomorrow....... ;)
 
Yeah took me about 3 seconds to think "hmmmmm what's has she done or wanting to do or about to do?" But it's now been 5 hours since the convo and I'm keeping an eye on the bank account and nothing going on there....

Winner Winner Chippy Dinner?
Strangely still nothing has happened....
 

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