how bone is your missus.

It also has a taller tower than Latina, something the Mayor is always spouting about.
Ponte Rosso is a resteraunt across the lake from the town . . . .
and if you visit the Cathedral, look up above the doors, uncle Benito is up there with his sheaves of wheat, the fat rapey git and Latina has prostitutes all over the place . . .
Can you two get a "Gîte" together . . . ;) ?!
 
I would suggest a much better way of doing things is to employ head teachers who can run a school properly.
Oh hang on, Mrs Meaty might be very strict, wears crisp white linen shirts, horn rimmed spectacles, pencil skirts, hair tied back and requires lots of attention!
 
Re previous comment on Mrs G and her lawn mower .......
,
Noticed her lawn mower was not cutting very well due in all likelihood to the fact her attitude is similar to that of the hoover use ......it will pickup/mow anything that happens to be on the floor/ground so therefore the 20mm gravel on the drive is regularly mowed with obvious affect on the blades.

At this point the story could be in either this thread or the EM thread .......

Because I took the blade off and sharpened it but didn't refit it.

I then watched a puzzled Mrs G "mow" one lawn ....checking part way through the mulching thingy wasn't fitted but still no grass in the collector ...... this is where EM comes in because I then showed her the newly sharpened blade and mentioned it might cut better with it fitted .

Seemingly what I thought was a very funny prank wasn't and I'm a stupid pranker or something ......
 

Helm

MIA
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Re previous comment on Mrs G and her lawn mower .......
,
Noticed her lawn mower was not cutting very well due in all likelihood to the fact her attitude is similar to that of the hoover use ......it will pickup/mow anything that happens to be on the floor/ground so therefore the 20mm gravel on the drive is regularly mowed with obvious affect on the blades.

At this point the story could be in either this thread or the EM thread .......

Because I took the blade off and sharpened it but didn't refit it.

I then watched a puzzled Mrs G "mow" one lawn ....checking part way through the mulching thingy wasn't fitted but still no grass in the collector ...... this is where EM comes in because I then showed her the newly sharpened blade and mentioned it might cut better with it fitted .

Seemingly what I thought was a very funny prank wasn't and I'm a stupid pranker or something ......
 
I am however, deeply worried about SWMBO, who has done NOTHING in the least bone in the past 3 weeks.
It has been rather quiet on the bone front in Hogg Towers, that was until now, we were sat watching a young starling eating a bit of bread on the lawn, when a big crow landed on the fence, she said, oh look, here comes mamma bird looking for her baby" :D
 
It has been rather quiet on the bone front in Hogg Towers, that was until now, we were sat watching a young starling eating a bit of bread on the lawn, when a big crow landed on the fence, she said, oh look, here comes mamma bird looking for her baby" :D
Then, CHOMP!
 
You’ve got to love them, Mrs had to buy plant pot holders for plant pots on the deck, she proceeded to assemble said plant pot holders and proudly sat down very pleased with her work, “I didn’t notice that” she said “what’s wrong I replied” her “that one has ‘welcome’ on the little sign, but the other one is blank” I looked at her quizzically and she held my gaze as I waited for a punch line that didn’t come “the blank one is the back of the welcome sign dear, if you look round the othe” I didn’t finish my sentence before I started another 3hrs in the silence cooler.
 
The tranquility that has been the homestead is soon to be shattered as herself announced this morning that she will be home next week. She's tested negative for the kung flu last week and will have another test tomorrow with the results back in a couple of days.

I suppose I had better put her life insurance policy back in the safe then.
 
Meanwhile back at the ranch, the long haired CO is awaiting a telephone call on the house phone , so rather than sit and wait at the house her ladyship informs us that she has put the house phone on divert to her mobile, and off she toddles.
Later she appears a tad annoyed that the f*ckk$s+ have not called back , so deciding to give the poor sods a piece of her ( sometimes small ) mind she phones them to be informed that they did try and call, but the number was unavailable many times.
A look at the phones speed dial entry reveals that the number for diversion was her old phones number form about seven years ago.
It's my fault , I must have entered the old number, with the fingers I dont have .
 
Meanwhile back at the ranch, the long haired CO is awaiting a telephone call on the house phone , so rather than sit and wait at the house her ladyship informs us that she hat put the house phone on divert to her mobile, and off she toddles.
Later she appears a tad annoyed that the f*ckk$s+ have not called back , so deciding to give the poor sods a piece of her ( sometimes small ) mind she phones them to be informed that they did try and call, but the number was unavailable many times.
A look at the phones speed dial entry reveals that the number for diversion was her old phones number form about seven years ago.
It's my fault , I must have entered the old number, with the fingers I dont have .

You have my sympathy about the fingers. But you were clearly at fault anyway, so apologise.
 

wheel

LE
Me : Why is there a small dirty wooden pallet on the back seat of our nice clean car dear ?.
Mrs: Its for ....
Me : Why is it there not what is it for ?
Mrs: It was easier to put it there than in the boot.
Me: Really the great big hatch back boot with wipe clean covers. That would not be covered in dirt and wood splinters like the back seat now is. OK . What is it for ?.
Mrs: Its so that you can make some seat slats for the planters that I want to turn into garden benches.
Me: I have plenty of wood that I can make slats out of. That will be far more suitable.
Mrs: I was just trying to be helpful.
Me: It might have been more helpful had you shared this bright idea.
Mrs: Death stare begins.
The two planters she purchased a year ago January yep nearly 18 months ago. She had me drive 35 miles to a garden furniture place to buy planters. They were 3ft x 3ft x 18 in. With a 6ft high trellis that attaches to each of them. They obviously would not fit into our car so I had to drive home (left her at home) then drive back in my van to collect them. 140 miles FFS. They have since been in several locations around the garden but never had any plants in them. I am thinking of re laying the patio.
 
SWMBO ain't the sharpest spoon in the drawer bless her but for some reason I am on total radio silence again. Started Monday I think and still unsure why but I must admit I am enjoying it as so far it hasnt led to a reduction in rations just silence. Same towards Mini Daffe and she is loving it too :)
 

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