how bone is your missus.

She's on the phone to the daughter at the moment. Her side of the conversation is basically, "Yes, yes", "No, no", "Yes, yes". I'm guessing the daughter is doing exactly the same at her end.

Irritating? Oh no. Not even a little bit. TF for whisky.
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
She's on the phone to the daughter at the moment. Her side of the conversation is basically, "Yes, yes", "No, no", "Yes, yes". I'm guessing the daughter is doing exactly the same at her end.

Irritating? Oh no. Not even a little bit. TF for whisky.
The time to note a change is imminent is when they interrupt the conversation with "I know".
 

Blogg

LE
Been camped out on WhatsApp all afternoon, endless debate.

What to do now concerning her Mother's birthday?

All so difficult and uncertain

It's at the end of October.
 
She's on the phone to the daughter at the moment. Her side of the conversation is basically, "Yes, yes", "No, no", "Yes, yes". I'm guessing the daughter is doing exactly the same at her end.

Irritating? Oh no. Not even a little bit. TF for whisky.
A bird I was knocking around with who was also a boater would bend my ears with hour-long phone calls punctuated with "....and another thing" time and time again. These would be jobs for me to do. Usually wood to chop in the píssing rain or a mechanical job that would be easy for anyone but her.

By the time the call ended, I'd be an hour behind with work/everything else, plus 10 jobs on her boat would have materialised. She didn't last long. Another period where I'd made work for myself by being just too lazy to wánk.
 
A video of the sex pistols Anarchy comes on
who the fucks singing - its sod it, whats his name (FYI John Lyndon) says I struggling to put name to face - Its not sid its the other one

Que a 10 minute argument with her indoors because Syd Vicious wasn't in the sex pistols - he was in another band.
It was the Sex Pistols - No it wasn't - I cant remember who it was ad nauseum until the light of my life eventually remembers Floyd Sid Vicious was in Pink Floyd.

Obviously I gently corrected her thus- Oh moon of my stars, queen of my empire etc I believe that just possibly you have gotten slightly confused and have perchance through no fault of your own have mistaken Sid Vicious with another artist with the same forename. or words to that effect.





Ok I my actual words were that's Syd Barret you dopey cnut -
 
She's on the phone to the daughter at the moment. Her side of the conversation is basically, "Yes, yes", "No, no", "Yes, yes". I'm guessing the daughter is doing exactly the same at her end.

Irritating? Oh no. Not even a little bit. TF for whisky.
Irritating is the fact my missus talks to me and I have to strain to hear her across the room. If shes on the phone I need to leave the room and wear Amplivox in order to hear myself think.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
She's on the phone to the daughter at the moment. Her side of the conversation is basically, "Yes, yes", "No, no", "Yes, yes". I'm guessing the daughter is doing exactly the same at her end.

Irritating? Oh no. Not even a little bit. TF for whisky.
Mrs F can speak to either Eldest or Middle Miss F for upwards of an hour on occasion.

If questioned afterwards if there's any news from them, the answers usually no!
 
SWMBO will talk to her sister for an hour or so, and if I ask her what her sister was saying she will give me a ten minute blow by blow conversation (ignoring the fact that I was in the same room as her and already heard both sides of it} then stop.

If I ask her if her sister said anything else later on the answer is usually "well, no..apart from..." and then repeat the headlines of the previous description....

It's like getting the news headlines every hour
 
I've got a live one here.
I have just said to er "it would be a good idea to go out and start your car and let it run for 10-15 mins seeing that it hasn't been started since this lockdown has been in place".
Good idea says she and off she goes, starts the car and sat beside it.
Why are you sitting there I ask?
So no one can steal while it is running, says er.
Fair enough I reply, but how can it be stolen from the driveway when my car is right behind it and locked with no room whatsoever for your car to be manouvered around it.
Oh says er, I feel so silly now.
Dopey cow.
 
I've got a live one here.
I have just said to er "it would be a good idea to go out and start your car and let it run for 10-15 mins seeing that it hasn't been started since this lockdown has been in place".
Good idea says she and off she goes, starts the car and sat beside it.
Why are you sitting there I ask?
So no one can steal while it is running, says er.
Fair enough I reply, but how can it be stolen from the driveway when my car is right behind it and locked with no room whatsoever for your car to be manouvered around it.
Oh says er, I feel so silly now.
Dopey cow.
Just to add.
She still stayed outside sitting by the car until she turned it off and locked though.
 
Fúcking this.
Why is it that women have to redesign a man's chez so that it suits some nebulous set of female rules that us testicled people are not privy too?

The sofa has to have scatter cushions all over it so sitting down is impossible without moving them. It's a sofa. It's already fúcking padded!

And the khazi. Mysterious fluffy objects hung all over the show. What do they actually do? Does anyone know?

I live on a 50-year old narrow boat, and had a couple of females come round recently. Most blokes just sit down and drink the beer I give them. Not women, it's a bloody inspection: "You need to to get rid of that" "Don't like that", "Where are the scatter cushions?" etc.

I have a rack of spanners in the part of the boat nearest the engine. "You need to get rid of them."

The spanners for the 60-year old Lister engine? No thanks. It explains why whenever I have to fix a bird's boat, I'm expected to do so with their 'tools', comprising a hammer, a set of rusty mole grips and an axe.

The justification for failing the inspection? ,"You'll never meet a woman with a boat like this". Thank the Gods for that. I have to make my property like they want it before they'll move in. Right. I think I get it. If I don't, they'll stay on the outside bleating where I can't hear them.

Oh, and my mate once gave me the best piece of advice: "Never show a woman or an idiot a job half finished".

And so it was that they found some bare cabin insulation with half a wall of tongue and groove half covering it. And some unsawn tongue and groove lying around. Much tutting. Do they think things just spring up by themselves?
I might get in touch with you for advice about narrow boats, thinking of living on the Forth and Clyde in one when this is over.
 
Kick them onto the floor for the degs. That way you and the furmonsters are happy and the missus can fook off and do whatever she does elsewhere, leaving you in peace.
A friend's missus got rid of all the scatter cushions, when she walked in and found her dog humping one and realised what the mysterious stains that she kept finding were.
 

NSP

LE
Mine's got the excuse that English is not her first language - and even then she rarely if ever comes out with anything post-worthy. However, in anticipation of having to go to the boat I put her on the car insurance at the weekend lest she be left marooned in the sticks with pared-back public transport.

Given that she's never driven a car that has been built with the controls actually placed in front of the driver and I'm taking her out for a bit of practice during the week it might be a case of "watch this space!"
 
Mine's got the excuse that English is not her first language - and even then she rarely if ever comes out with anything post-worthy. However, in anticipation of having to go to the boat I put her on the car insurance at the weekend lest she be left marooned in the sticks with pared-back public transport.

Given that she's never driven a car that has been built with the controls actually placed in front of the driver and I'm taking her out for a bit of practice during the week it might be a case of "watch this space!"
What size boots?
 
Mine's got the excuse that English is not her first language - and even then she rarely if ever comes out with anything post-worthy. However, in anticipation of having to go to the boat I put her on the car insurance at the weekend lest she be left marooned in the sticks with pared-back public transport.

Given that she's never driven a car that has been built with the controls actually placed in front of the driver and I'm taking her out for a bit of practice during the week it might be a case of "watch this space!"
Please explain the bit about the controls?
 
I might get in touch with you for advice about narrow boats, thinking of living on the Forth and Clyde in one when this is over.
It's great! I lived on one during the week when I was working just too far from home to commute. It was on a brilliant site at the end of the Gloucester and Sharpness canal. SWMNB used to come up for weekends, we had lots of friends visit and we even had one Christmas on there. We sold it literally the day before we left for Spain, but with the benefit of hindsight we wish we'd kept it.
 

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