how bone is your missus.

The not being able to go spend money and not being able to meet up with the other members of her Coven is getting to herself as well.

Now I've never been the yappy type, I only speak if I have something to say but apparently now I'm not very good company either according to herself.
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
The not being able to go spend money and not being able to meet up with the other members of her Coven is getting to herself as well.

Now I've never been the yappy type, I only speak if I have something to say but apparently now I'm not very good company either according to herself.
She's absolutely right of course. SWMBO says so.
 

ericferret

War Hero
I think my missus would find stuff to do during a nuclear strike.
I can hear the brush cutter working hard slashing it's way through the area of primeaval jungle we laughingly call the orchard.

Meanwhile I am doing important stuff like posting on arrse.
 

Gustinkovski

Old-Salt
Not mine but neighbour that lives opposite, where we all share a small courtyard. I heard a car horn for a few minutes until two cars appeared in the courtyard, the rear one being towed. They stop and the neighbour, Mark in the one being towed, jumps out clearly annoyed and asks wife if she had not heard the beeping to get her to stop. You could have heard it from quite a distance. "Oh I wondered why you were beeping ?!" face palm. A couple of days later, neighbour is working on the car and we got talking, turns out she only went and put 50 ish litres of unleaded in their diesel car. Saving grace is that when she went to pay was asked, "isn't your car diesel because your paying for petrol?". Luckily she didn't start it and he managed to drain the tank.
 
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The not being able to go spend money and not being able to meet up with the other members of her Coven is getting to herself as well.

Now I've never been the yappy type, I only speak if I have something to say but apparently now I'm not very good company either according to herself.
SWMBO has put together a HUGE list of things she wants to get done around the house while I am off for 6 weeks so I told her "Hey jog on and enjoy!!" and that went down like a lead balloon!!
 

Kirkz

LE
SWMBO announces she is going to walk to local shop for some essential but unnamed items that she cannot s
do without and arrives back with a bottle of bleach and 3 bottles of white wine!

I fall over laughing pointing out that wine is hardly an essential to which her reply is "but we needed bleach!".

Ya just cannot reason with her...
She lives with you I'd say it was fucking necessity.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
SWMBO has put together a HUGE list of things she wants to get done around the house while I am off for 6 weeks so I told her "Hey jog on and enjoy!!" and that went down like a lead balloon!!
Mrs F kindly suggested I put together a list of all the jobs I want to do.

Didn't bother with my own list as she keeps me supplied with "suggestions"
 
They do it because they are female.
A short dit.
My young brother separated from his wife and moved to Australia.
He has been living there for quite a while and had purchased and set himself up in a home, and eventually met another female who after awhile moved into his house.
The day after she moved in when he arrived home from work he found that all the furniture throughout his house had been moved and repositioned.
This caused him to blow his stack and made her put everything back to where it was originally, simply because it was his house and he had everything placed the way he wanted it.
She eventually did so under protest, once everything was back in its original position he screwed it all to the floor so that she couldn't move it again.

I don't know how long she lasted there with him, not long I wouldn't think.
Fúcking this.
Why is it that women have to redesign a man's chez so that it suits some nebulous set of female rules that us testicled people are not privy too?

The sofa has to have scatter cushions all over it so sitting down is impossible without moving them. It's a sofa. It's already fúcking padded!

And the khazi. Mysterious fluffy objects hung all over the show. What do they actually do? Does anyone know?

I live on a 50-year old narrow boat, and had a couple of females come round recently. Most blokes just sit down and drink the beer I give them. Not women, it's a bloody inspection: "You need to to get rid of that" "Don't like that", "Where are the scatter cushions?" etc.

I have a rack of spanners in the part of the boat nearest the engine. "You need to get rid of them."

The spanners for the 60-year old Lister engine? No thanks. It explains why whenever I have to fix a bird's boat, I'm expected to do so with their 'tools', comprising a hammer, a set of rusty mole grips and an axe.

The justification for failing the inspection? ,"You'll never meet a woman with a boat like this". Thank the Gods for that. I have to make my property like they want it before they'll move in. Right. I think I get it. If I don't, they'll stay on the outside bleating where I can't hear them.

Oh, and my mate once gave me the best piece of advice: "Never show a woman or an idiot a job half finished".

And so it was that they found some bare cabin insulation with half a wall of tongue and groove half covering it. And some unsawn tongue and groove lying around. Much tutting. Do they think things just spring up by themselves?
 
Fúcking this.
Why is it that women have to redesign a man's chez so that it suits some nebulous set of female rules that us testicled people are not privy too?

The sofa has to have scatter cushions all over it so sitting down is impossible without moving them. It's a sofa. It's already fúcking padded!

And the khazi. Mysterious fluffy objects hung all over the show. What do they actually do? Does anyone know?

I live on a 50-year old narrow boat, and had a couple of females come round recently. Most blokes just sit down and drink the beer I give them. Not women, it's a bloody inspection: "You need to to get rid of that" "Don't like that", "Where are the scatter cushions?" etc.

I have a rack of spanners in the part of the boat nearest the engine. "You need to get rid of them."

The spanners for the 60-year old Lister engine? No thanks. It explains why whenever I have to fix a bird's boat, I'm expected to do so with their 'tools', comprising a hammer, a set of rusty mole grips and an axe.

The justification for failing the inspection? ,"You'll never meet a woman with a boat like this". Thank the Gods for that. I have to make my property like they want it before they'll move in. Right. I think I get it. If I don't, they'll stay on the outside bleating where I can't hear them.

Oh, and my mate once gave me the best piece of advice: "Never show a woman or an idiot a job half finished".

And so it was that they found some bare cabin insulation with half a wall of tongue and groove half covering it. And some unsawn tongue and groove lying around. Much tutting. Do they think things just spring up by themselves?
Dont get me started on the subject of scatter cushions!!! I'd rather be water boarded than deal with that shit AGAIN!!
 

ExREME..TECH

On ROPS
On ROPs
And SWMBOs latest genius thought is "this family is not having Chinese takeaway every again! If it wasn't for those people we wouldnt be in this mess!". I despair sometimes I really do!!
 

ExREME..TECH

On ROPS
On ROPs
And SWMBOs latest genius thought is "this family is not having Chinese takeaway every again! If it wasn't for those people we wouldnt be in this mess!". I despair sometimes I really do!!
I can see her point, you are always ordering sweet and sour bat, with egg fried rice
 

Kirkz

LE
Fúcking this.
Why is it that women have to redesign a man's chez so that it suits some nebulous set of female rules that us testicled people are not privy too?

The sofa has to have scatter cushions all over it so sitting down is impossible without moving them. It's a sofa. It's already fúcking padded!

And the khazi. Mysterious fluffy objects hung all over the show. What do they actually do? Does anyone know?

I live on a 50-year old narrow boat, and had a couple of females come round recently. Most blokes just sit down and drink the beer I give them. Not women, it's a bloody inspection: "You need to to get rid of that" "Don't like that", "Where are the scatter cushions?" etc.

I have a rack of spanners in the part of the boat nearest the engine. "You need to get rid of them."

The spanners for the 60-year old Lister engine? No thanks. It explains why whenever I have to fix a bird's boat, I'm expected to do so with their 'tools', comprising a hammer, a set of rusty mole grips and an axe.

The justification for failing the inspection? ,"You'll never meet a woman with a boat like this". Thank the Gods for that. I have to make my property like they want it before they'll move in. Right. I think I get it. If I don't, they'll stay on the outside bleating where I can't hear them.

Oh, and my mate once gave me the best piece of advice: "Never show a woman or an idiot a job half finished".

And so it was that they found some bare cabin insulation with half a wall of tongue and groove half covering it. And some unsawn tongue and groove lying around. Much tutting. Do they think things just spring up by themselves?
A builder mate of mine swore by "Fools and little children shouldn't criticise a job until it's finished".
 

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