how bone is your missus.

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Sourdough starter. Not dissimilar to spooge.

As for bone, I just sliced off the last 3mm of my thumb chopping jalapenos for a salad. Had to scratch through the chopped chilis to find my fingertip so I could tape it back in place.
The Ace of Blades.
 
Un-fucking-believable!!!

She was on the phone to her sister (who lives next door) just now "I'm going out shortly to cut down the elderberry which is poking up through the beech hedge" she says.

"Oh" says her sister "Wasn't N**** going to do that tomorrow?"

"Hold on", says I, "I cut the elderberry yesterday in front of you whilst you were on the patio - no-one needs to do it, it's already done. I'm waiting for it to dry out before I pull it out and put it through the chipping machine".

Cue a massive broadside from Mrs Dave because a) I didn't tell her I'd cut the elderberry (even though she saw me do it) and b) she had written the job on her whiteboard yesterday and I should have seen the note.

She's still going on about me being a controlling **** and she shouldn't need permission to do things......

Bewildered? Moi? She's difficult enough to live with as it is with her suffering from NPH (a form of dementia) but this is taking it to a different level. I have to say that most of the time she'll have forgotten this spat by tea time, but this may just linger in her memory bank for just a few hours longer.

Ho hum, let's see what tomorrow brings.
 
Un-*******-believable!!!

She was on the phone to her sister (who lives next door) just now "I'm going out shortly to cut down the elderberry which is poking up through the beech hedge" she says.

"Oh" says her sister "Wasn't N**** going to do that tomorrow?"

"Hold on", says I, "I cut the elderberry yesterday in front of you whilst you were on the patio - no-one needs to do it, it's already done. I'm waiting for it to dry out before I pull it out and put it through the chipping machine".

Cue a massive broadside from Mrs Dave because a) I didn't tell her I'd cut the elderberry (even though she saw me do it) and b) she had written the job on her whiteboard yesterday and I should have seen the note.

She's still going on about me being a controlling **** and she shouldn't need permission to do things......

Bewildered? Moi? She's difficult enough to live with as it is with her suffering from NPH (a form of dementia) but this is taking it to a different level. I have to say that most of the time she'll have forgotten this spat by tea time, but this may just linger in her memory bank for just a few hours longer.

Ho hum, let's see what tomorrow brings.
A call to the police making a complaint that a thief has stolen the elderberry bush?
 

Blogg

LE
Getting stressed over the whole Covid19 thing (ever present gloom from media fcukwits not a help) and getting snappy because, horror of horrors:

"I am risking my life going shopping and all you two (self and No.2 son) do is eat and drink it all!"

I didn't help by laughing
 
Getting stressed over the whole Covid19 thing (ever present gloom from media fcukwits not a help) and getting snappy because, horror of horrors:

"I am risking my life going shopping and all you two (self and No.2 son) do is eat and drink it all!"

I didn't help by laughing
Sounds like my SWMBO shes getting very snappy, stompy and slamdoory and getting worse by the day TBH!

Personally the social isolation isnt bothering me to much at all as I am an anti social bastard at the best of times :)
 
SWMBO and I went for daily exercise, a long (6 km) walk along the beach from Carnoustie to West haven. Lovely day. Sun shining, gentle breeze and the sea is almost calm.
SWMBO decides she wants to take a photograph out towards the sea, showing some seagulls perched on tall crab fishing poles, using her phone.
I wait patiently.
I'm still waiting 5 minutes later, then enquire gently;
"Everything ok my Poppet?"

"No" "This stupid phone keeps showing my face"

"You don't have it in selfie mode, do you, my Beloved?"

"Of course not. "I'm not an idiot"

"Then how is it showing your face?" "The lens is pointing away from you towards the sea"

"That's why I'm asking you" " I keep seeing my face on the screen, and I only want those stupid seagulls"


*Silence for a couple of minutes as my brain tries to process the information, aware the data is coming from a questionable source*


"Ehhhh. . . Are you talking about the reflection of your lovely face on the glass screen of the phone?"


"Of course, what else could I be talking about" "All I want to know is how to stop it from being in the photo"


"Don't worry about it my Love, it won't show"

"You're sure?"

"Yes my Flower" "I am completely sure"



I think where we went wrong was allowing them anything more complex than a rolling pin.
 
Me and herself were wandering in the garden last night enjoying an unusually clear night sky for these parts, perhaps a result of less air pollution as a result of the lockdown, says she, "Look at the moon, lovely, why don't you get that fancy camera of yours and take a picture of it?"

I agreed that I hadn't seen such a bright moon in a long time and it would be a good excuse to try out my photography skills so I wandered back inside to get my camera. I came back out and stood at the kitchen door to get the perfect shot of the beautiful lunar orb.

She by that stage had wandered to the end of the garden and when seeing me said:

"You're too far away over there, come here and get a closer view."

I was taking a picture of the moon.
 

Blogg

LE
Sounds like my SWMBO shes getting very snappy, stompy and slamdoory and getting worse by the day TBH!

Personally the social isolation isnt bothering me to much at all as I am an anti social bastard at the best of times :)
Does not bother me either. I work from home as much as is possible and probably getting on for a month now since I set foot in my workplace.

But Mrs B....

Oh dear. Getting quite twitchy and irritable which is not merely tiresome for me but making dogs a bit stressed as well.

IMG_20200402_111313.jpg
 
SWMBO announces she is going to walk to local shop for some essential but unnamed items that she cannot s
do without and arrives back with a bottle of bleach and 3 bottles of white wine!

I fall over laughing pointing out that wine is hardly an essential to which her reply is "but we needed bleach!".

Ya just cannot reason with her...
 
SWMBO announces she is going to walk to local shop for some essential but unnamed items that she cannot s
do without and arrives back with a bottle of bleach and 3 bottles of white wine!

I fall over laughing pointing out that wine is hardly an essential to which her reply is "but we needed bleach!".

Ya just cannot reason with her...
Watch out if your glass of Sauvignon Blanc smells of chlorine.....
 

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