how bone is your missus.

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
Ref the post by @SONAR-BENDER and baking, I said earlier upthread that I'd be teaching SWMBO to make bread, managed to get hold of some yeast and brought out the bag of strong flour that had been sitting in the cupboard for around 6 months. At this point, sh epipes up "we can't use that, I've got some breadmaking flour coming". Turns out, she's ordered some breadmaking flour from a miller Oop North and is waiting for that to be delivered before she embarks on her baking adventure. All well and good you may think, but she's ordered 25Kg to be delivered, I only wanted to show her how to make a couple of loaves, not feed the f'kin neighbourhood!
 
Ref the post by @SONAR-BENDER and baking, I said earlier upthread that I'd be teaching SWMBO to make bread, managed to get hold of some yeast and brought out the bag of strong flour that had been sitting in the cupboard for around 6 months. At this point, sh epipes up "we can't use that, I've got some breadmaking flour coming". Turns out, she's ordered some breadmaking flour from a miller Oop North and is waiting for that to be delivered before she embarks on her baking adventure. All well and good you may think, but she's ordered 25Kg to be delivered, I only wanted to show her how to make a couple of loaves, not feed the f'kin neighbourhood!
Put me down for a large white unsliced and a granary mate ;-)
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
I'll have a San Francisco sourdough please dear boy (Jeebus, have I caught the ghey?)
 

NSP

LE
Not too far off 'Wat is jou naam?' phonetically. Pomgolian actor trying to speak Afrikaans without being familiar with the accent would sound similar.

The dire SA accent in the Lethal Weapon movie a case in point. It's like almost every US actor doing the mangled lovable cockerknee and thinking it applies to all Brits.
Brion James' character in Tango & Cash starts out cod-SA and then oscillates between cod-Cockney and cod-Zaffa. I think the actual characterisation is supposed to be Australian!

Which reminds me of James Coburn in The Great Escape...
 

Kirkz

LE
Ref the post by @SONAR-BENDER and baking, I said earlier upthread that I'd be teaching SWMBO to make bread, managed to get hold of some yeast and brought out the bag of strong flour that had been sitting in the cupboard for around 6 months. At this point, sh epipes up "we can't use that, I've got some breadmaking flour coming". Turns out, she's ordered some breadmaking flour from a miller Oop North and is waiting for that to be delivered before she embarks on her baking adventure. All well and good you may think, but she's ordered 25Kg to be delivered, I only wanted to show her how to make a couple of loaves, not feed the f'kin neighbourhood!
Now you have some yeast make a "plant" and keep it fed you'll never run out.

How to Make Yeast
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
SWMBO: Quick quick! get on the tesco site, there's delivery slots, daughter just got one for next week!!!
Me: Daughter lives in Worcester we live in East Sussex. There are no delivery slots here.
SWMBO: Oh
 

Dennis48

War Hero
Not my wife but my older sister who lives in Sunderland and I Skype every Sunday just to check up on her she's in her late 70s. So I ring her on Skype she accepts the call and her face appears on my screen and she's wearing a surgical mask. I ask "What you wearing that for?" she replies " I don't want you catching anything". I choke on my coffee and spit all over the screen, she jumps back from her screen as if she is going to get covered in it. Mean while I'm creased up trying desperately trying not to piss myself.
 
Mrs ODC got up yesterday morning around 8 and immediately popped the TV on to a news station for the 10,000th & 38th day in a row, doesn't matter whether I am watching something else or not the channel gets changed.
What follows is hour after hour, one news station after another of COVID, COVID, and nothing else but COVID. I don't mind I'm working on a spreadsheet for some extra cash.

Anywhoo, around 2pm she pipes off with:

"My god, I can't stand this, it's too depressing, is there no other news, is there nothing else going on in the world?"

"You can always change the channel you know"

"Well, I need to know what's going on"

"OK, then don't complain about the news"

"It's too much to take in though"

Flick - I switch it to Discovery Channel. A mindless prog about bigly boats.

"Whatya doing!!.. I'm not watching this shit" and promptly fires it back on CBC News. COVID, COVID, and nothing else but COVID.
1585572379470.png
 
Mrs ODC got up yesterday morning around 8 and immediately popped the TV on to a news station for the 10,000th & 38th day in a row, doesn't matter whether I am watching something else or not the channel gets changed.
What follows is hour after hour, one news station after another of COVID, COVID, and nothing else but COVID. I don't mind I'm working on a spreadsheet for some extra cash.

Anywhoo, around 2pm she pipes off with:

"My god, I can't stand this, it's too depressing, is there no other news, is there nothing else going on in the world?"

"You can always change the channel you know"

"Well, I need to know what's going on"

"OK, then don't complain about the news"

"It's too much to take in though"

Flick - I switch it to Discovery Channel. A mindless prog about bigly boats.

"Whatya doing!!.. I'm not watching this shit" and promptly fires it back on CBC News. COVID, COVID, and nothing else but COVID.
View attachment 461140
Tell her if she watches the news too much she'll catch the virus. She sounds stupid enough to believe that.
 
Tell her if she watches the news too much she'll catch the virus. She sounds stupid enough to believe that.
On the contrary she isn't stupid at all it's just the way she is, a worry wart. She doesn't read a work schedule to see what shifts she is on, oh, no, she needs to know what shift EVERYONE else is on as well and woe betide the scheduling guy if Tess has one more shift than Vanessa or Dave has one more than Billy and those are people who are NOT in her department. No need to describe what happens to the guy if Mrs ODC shifts are wrong.
 
On the contrary she isn't stupid at all it's just the way she is, a worry wart. She doesn't read a work schedule to see what shifts she is on, oh, no, she needs to know what shift EVERYONE else is on as well and woe betide the scheduling guy if Tess has one more shift than Vanessa or Dave has one more than Billy and those are people who are NOT in her department. No need to describe what happens to the guy if Mrs ODC shifts are wrong.
In that case I suggest you cough a lot and complain about not feeling well. Take her mind of the tele sort of thing. You'd be doing her a favour. Sorta.
 

NSP

LE
Mrs ODC got up yesterday morning around 8 and immediately popped the TV on to a news station for the 10,000th & 38th day in a row, doesn't matter whether I am watching something else or not the channel gets changed.
What follows is hour after hour, one news station after another of COVID, COVID, and nothing else but COVID. I don't mind I'm working on a spreadsheet for some extra cash.

Anywhoo, around 2pm she pipes off with:

"My god, I can't stand this, it's too depressing, is there no other news, is there nothing else going on in the world?"

"You can always change the channel you know"

"Well, I need to know what's going on"

"OK, then don't complain about the news"

"It's too much to take in though"

Flick - I switch it to Discovery Channel. A mindless prog about bigly boats.

"Whatya doing!!.. I'm not watching this shit" and promptly fires it back on CBC News. COVID, COVID, and nothing else but COVID.
View attachment 461140
Take advantage of the lockdown to dig the foundation out for that new patio.
 
In that case I suggest you cough a lot and complain about not feeling well. Take her mind of the tele sort of thing. You'd be doing her a favour. Sorta.
Maybe not.

She might just decide on euthanasia to keep things nice and tidy.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Not my wife but my older sister...
...in her late 70s.
Thought you were continuing from the previous post and describing your own yeast plant.
 
Mrs ODC got up yesterday morning around 8 and immediately popped the TV on to a news station for the 10,000th & 38th day in a row, doesn't matter whether I am watching something else or not the channel gets changed.
What follows is hour after hour, one news station after another of COVID, COVID, and nothing else but COVID. I don't mind I'm working on a spreadsheet for some extra cash.

Anywhoo, around 2pm she pipes off with:

"My god, I can't stand this, it's too depressing, is there no other news, is there nothing else going on in the world?"

"You can always change the channel you know"

"Well, I need to know what's going on"

"OK, then don't complain about the news"

"It's too much to take in though"

Flick - I switch it to Discovery Channel. A mindless prog about bigly boats.

"Whatya doing!!.. I'm not watching this shit" and promptly fires it back on CBC News. COVID, COVID, and nothing else but COVID.
View attachment 461140
Put her onto Al Jazeera, it carries more non-coved stuff, also from other countries
 
Put her onto Al Jazeera, it carries more non-coved stuff, also from other countries
I forgot to mention she's reading News compilation sites at the same time she's listening to the news on the telly aaaand bitching about them too.:(
 
Take advantage of the lockdown to dig the foundation out for that new patio.
Can't do that, I'm an easy going guy but the patio is already maxed out with two ex wifes, a couple of batshit crazy ex girlfriends, one or two people I owed a tenner to, oh yeah, and a kid that came out ginger.


Memo to self: move house again.
 

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