how bone is your missus.

A shed.

Filled with whisky/rum/libation of choice.
Nah not got a shed filled with booze mate, I gave up the drink the day after our first kid was born.
 
Just out of interest, was Tom Sharpe popular in SA, in the pre-Rainbow nation days?
About as popular as most other run of the mill authors. Big seller at the time was Wilbur Smith as I recall.
 

NSP

LE
Just out of interest, was Tom Sharpe popular in SA, in the pre-Rainbow nation days?
I believe not (at least with the government) as they ran him out of the country for sedition. He settled in Bridport, Dorset and died there a few years back.
 
Oh dear there is going to be tears here later on this afternoon. Herself told me on Friday that two of the older hens have stopped laying. I've just finished sharpening the axe and about to have a brew, will get to the hens after my brew.

Herself will insist on giving the hens daft names and getting all attached to them.

Chicken soup for lunch tomorrow.
 
Oh dear there is going to be tears here later on this afternoon. Herself told me on Friday that two of the older hens have stopped laying. I've just finished sharpening the axe and about to have a brew, will get to the hens after my brew.

Herself will insist on giving the hens daft names and getting all attached to them.

Chicken soup for lunch tomorrow.
Can you not just stick them in a plastic bag for a couple of days?
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
Was it you?
The clue is in the thread title ;)

She waved a tin of tomatoes at me the other day, saying 'do you want me to put this in the bin or do you want to do something with it?' I looked at the tin, which appeared to be fine and within date and asked why we couldn't just use the contents for cooking with?. Apparently the ring-pull had come off without breaking the seal on the lid so it was now unable to be opened....
We have many other tins that come without a ring-pull and she's 'of an age' where tins with ring-pulls were not a 'thing' until she was well into double figure age.
I had to demonstrate how the tin opener worked on the ring-pull tin. Which unsuprisingly was the same way it works on any other tin.
 
Apologies - a double post, here and the Baking thread.

Today she said she was going to bake us some bread. Dived into the 'baking' cupboard and emerged with some flour and a can of yeast….. What can possibly go wrong?

Well, she has never made bread before, so she spent ages in the interweb finding out how to do it. I of course showed her Effendi’s entry in the Baking thread, which even has photos. ‘Let’s do this one’ says I. Nope - she already has a recipe.

I did the wise and correct thing and went to work in the garden. Some time later I heard a cry for help. As I was inside a Bougainvilla at the time, I ignored it, as it wasn’t a ‘real’ cry for help. This happened a couple of times more before I gave in and went to find out what disaster had befallen her. I found her sitting with a huge bowl full of very sticky dough, in which her hands were stuck! I suggested that it wasn’t dough, more very thick liquid - didn’t get a laugh.

We eventually freed her and added more flour to the mix, then left it to prove - I foolishly suggested 3 or 4 hours….. That got a damn good ignoring too! The next thing is she has two ‘loafs’ in the oven. Now I have to say they smelled great, but shortly afterwards I was presented with a slice of, well, I don’t know what. It was about an inch and a half high, brown on the outside and raw dough on the inside. Being a gent I took a bite…. I had to spit it out and gave it to the dog - who passed on it!

The dog has now sampled a bit, but he’s not happy!



The tin of yeast was unopened, however, I checked the BBE on the bottom….. 2008! So possibly not all her fault. But she did supposedly check that cupboard just last week, just not the bottom of tins.

We are out of bread! On the plus side she made a gorgeous Stcky Toffee Cashew Tart!
 
My buddy Douwe comes from a small coastal town in South Holland, their accent and dialect of Dutch is reckoned to be one of the oldest in existence.
He lives in Leiden now, one day someone else from his home town came in to his local and they started talking in their own dialect.
After a few minutes they realised someone was watching them open mouthed. He asked if he could help the guy who was a studenty type in his 20s, "no I just realised you don't come from here", the visitor replied no we come from somewhere really exotic, about 10km from here.
I never knew Barnsley was in Holland and exotic*.





*for a certain type of exotic obviously.
 
That's not going to get them laying again.
They weren't going to lay again anyway, so it's into the soup pot they go. Herself told me later that they stopped laying a couple of weeks back but she didn't want to tell me because she knew what it meant for the two chooks.
 
Not a whisky cave that you'll admit to in front of the missus, in any case...

Ragnarok may not be the reason to clean your tools, but I find it quite peaceful doing a repetitive task like that. In any case, guns are a bit loud. It's way more fun to sneak around with a carefully sharpened implement being the thing that goes bump in the night.

RE Afrikaans, quite correct. In fact, while Dutch has evolved, Afrikaans is closer to Flemish these days. Cloggie colleagues sometimes leave me behind when they select rapid fire, but sitting getting pissed in their RIBs on Lake Tanganyika with the Belgian embassy security blokes, there was little discernible difference in what we were saying apart from accents.
Anyone else remember the scene from "Breaker Morant" where Morant tells the interpreter to find out the identity of the Boer prisoner.

The interpreter asks, "Vutt ees yur nomm?" (phonetic transcription on my part).

I often though it was a remarkable bit of restraint on Edward Woodward's part not to say "Ferfexache I coulda done that mesel'"
 
Not too far off 'Wat is jou naam?' phonetically. Pomgolian actor trying to speak Afrikaans without being familiar with the accent would sound similar.

The dire SA accent in the Lethal Weapon movie a case in point. It's like almost every US actor doing the mangled lovable cockerknee and thinking it applies to all Brits.
 
De Caprio wasn't too bad and seemed to have the fuck you attitude about right. The Airvan used in the movie was the one I flew for the Grahamstown Skydiving Club for a while. Local dentist did the flying for the movie.
 
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