how bone is your missus.

Speaking to my missus earlier and she starts talking about the environmental protestors idiots in London. What did she call them?

Extension Redemption.

*Facepalm*
Hmm Extension Rebellion that would make a good slogan for the Conservative Party right now
 
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Credits are rolling on Avengers Endgame
Wife says, " So who is Robert Downey Jr's dad then?"
"Er, I mean if I had to guess babe, Robert Downey Senior? "
 

Sammer

War Hero
Just been out whale-watching with herself. I’m actually working, she’s just tagging along. (I very rarely let her come on my work trips, she’s a bit excitable.).

Settle my clients into their hotel, and herself wants a romantic moment watching the sun go down...

“Sam,Sam, SAM!!!” “Look, there’s a whale!”

“Were?” I ask, politely.

“There,” pointing generally westwards, “by that big wave!”

I took a picture of the big wave...

0D68F418-ABF6-44E3-AFA6-5537C22DD2BA.jpeg
 
Went for a walk with SWMBO around the lake yesterday. She asked me to take a photo of her while she was sat on a rock. After looking at the photo she asked me to email it to her when we got home. I have to admit it was a nice photo and the sun really caught her red hair just nice.

Later I did as she asked and sent the photo. Now I can't understand why she's mad at me.







72643258_10221723592665602_2467607626658086912_n.jpg
 
Off work at the mo so I accompanied the current mrs_mush to the gym where we had a session booked with a personal trainer.

Sitting outside the gym at stupid o'clock she says "I'm not looking forward to this, maybe you could distract him for 15 mins or so to use up some time"
"Distract him, how so, light of my life"
"Oh you know, just regale him with one of your amusing antidotes"
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Going on holiday with MrsF is fine enough but she never adjusts to the time differences.

Currently persuading her that there is no point getting up at 0545 in a tourist area where nothing opens before 0900 at the earliest.
 
Off work at the mo so I accompanied the current mrs_mush to the gym where we had a session booked with a personal trainer.

Sitting outside the gym at stupid o'clock she says "I'm not looking forward to this, maybe you could distract him for 15 mins or so to use up some time"
"Distract him, how so, light of my life"
"Oh you know, just regale him with one of your amusing antidotes"
Why not just fuck off back home to bed?
 

Tool

LE
HiD has 5 projects to complete before our holibobs the week after next. Arrives home yesterday and proudly tells me that she has finished one off. "Ok", says I, "you're 20% of the way there." Cue an argument about 1 in 5 not being 20% . The sprog walks in about 5 minutes into this kerfuffle, and says "Yes mum, 1 in 5 is 20%". She takes his word for it. I take the dog for a walk.
 
I am getting worried, SWMBO hasn't had a blonde moment for at least 3 weeks.

There must be a big one on the way.
 
Went for a walk with SWMBO around the lake yesterday. She asked me to take a photo of her while she was sat on a rock. After looking at the photo she asked me to email it to her when we got home. I have to admit it was a nice photo and the sun really caught her red hair just nice.

Later I did as she asked and sent the photo. Now I can't understand why she's mad at me.







View attachment 422067
Dipping her toes, eh? Seems every bit of water we pass, the present Mrs R says “oh, I’d love to dip my feet in there”. I always say “go on then”. She changes her mind, but her feet are still hot. Not at four am when she plants them on me they ain’t. Women and foot temperature: utterly baffling.
 

NSP

LE
Dipping her toes, eh? Seems every bit of water we pass, the present Mrs R says “oh, I’d love to dip my feet in there”. I always say “go on then”. She changes her mind, but her feet are still hot. Not at four am when she plants them on me they ain’t. Women and foot temperature: utterly baffling.
And at 4am you are not sans duvet with arse hanging in space off of the edge of the mattress...?

No?

You really have fuck all to complain about!
 

Just_plain_you

War Hero
Going on holiday with MrsF is fine enough but she never adjusts to the time differences.

Currently persuading her that there is no point getting up at 0545 in a tourist area where nothing opens before 0900 at the earliest.
Did her army training just kick in?
 

Gubmint_Agent

War Hero
We're driving along, at night, in her car and she's behind the wheel. It's a fairly windy country road, but still a reasonably busy one, and she's using her main beam headlights a lot but having to go back to dipped beam when oncoming cars appear.
I notice that whenever she puts the main beam back on she only has one hand on the wheel so I enquire, as you do when you'd rather not die in a night-time fireball of twisted metal, why this is?
"Because my other hand is making the lights brighter".
"What do you mean?"
"I have to keep the stick (she means the headlight stalk) pulled towards me or the headlights go dim again".
"Eh??"
It transpires that despite having a licence for 25yrs+ she never knew that pushing the stalk away from you kept the main beam active, until you pulled it backwards again to turn it off again, and has been using the 'headlight flash' feature instead.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
More airport lols today.

It’s half term so we’re going on a little jaunt away.

There is a new little airport at Carlisle that opened a few months back and we thought we’d try it out. It’s small, small planes, small terminal etc.

Of course 3 nights away requires 4 giant fucking suitcases. Despite my suggestions that we really don’t need all this shite, she was having none of it.

So we get to the airport (2.5 hours early, obviously because that’s how much time you need at airports). Again I try to emphasis the point that these are small planes with about 20 seats. Only 2 or 3 fly out of the place a day. There is no gift shop or duty free, you can park right outside the check in building and just walk in. But still, we need to be there 2.5 hours early.

So we get to the check in desk, of course we’re first, there is no queue. Normal people understand that 45 mins is more than ample time at small airports like this.

One of the many bags that she’s planning to take on as hand luggage doesn’t fit in the cage thing. There is panic as we have to decant luggage into another suitcase, while the check in desk girls look on in disdain.

Our flight is about an hour, but she’s brought enough snacks, magazines and books to keep an entire scout troop entertained on a trans Atlantic haul.

The mere suggestion that we could leave some of this crap in the car is meant with much hostility.

I’ll add that she’s travelled to over 85 countries and used to be a senior product manager in the travel industry.

You’d think she’d never been to a fucking airport in her life. We have this shit every time we go away.
 
More airport lols today.

It’s half term so we’re going on a little jaunt away.

There is a new little airport at Carlisle that opened a few months back and we thought we’d try it out. It’s small, small planes, small terminal etc.

Of course 3 nights away requires 4 giant ******* suitcases. Despite my suggestions that we really don’t need all this shite, she was having none of it.

So we get to the airport (2.5 hours early, obviously because that’s how much time you need at airports). Again I try to emphasis the point that these are small planes with about 20 seats. Only 2 or 3 fly out of the place a day. There is no gift shop or duty free, you can park right outside the check in building and just walk in. But still, we need to be there 2.5 hours early.

So we get to the check in desk, of course we’re first, there is no queue. Normal people understand that 45 mins is more than ample time at small airports like this.

One of the many bags that she’s planning to take on as hand luggage doesn’t fit in the cage thing. There is panic as we have to decant luggage into another suitcase, while the check in desk girls look on in disdain.

Our flight is about an hour, but she’s brought enough snacks, magazines and books to keep an entire scout troop entertained on a trans Atlantic haul.

The mere suggestion that we could leave some of this crap in the car is meant with much hostility.

I’ll add that she’s travelled to over 85 countries and used to be a senior product manager in the travel industry.

You’d think she’d never been to a ******* airport in her life. We have this shit every time we go away.
You should have used the Sopwith........
 
We're driving along, at night, in her car and she's behind the wheel. It's a fairly windy country road, but still a reasonably busy one, and she's using her main beam headlights a lot but having to go back to dipped beam when oncoming cars appear.
I notice that whenever she puts the main beam back on she only has one hand on the wheel so I enquire, as you do when you'd rather not die in a night-time fireball of twisted metal, why this is?
"Because my other hand is making the lights brighter".
"What do you mean?"
"I have to keep the stick (she means the headlight stalk) pulled towards me or the headlights go dim again".
"Eh??"
It transpires that despite having a licence for 25yrs+ she never knew that pushing the stalk away from you kept the main beam active, until you pulled it backwards again to turn it off again, and has been using the 'headlight flash' feature instead.
Obviously too young to remember when the dip switch was foot-operated, located on the floor, to the left of the clutch pedal.
 

Kirkz

LE
Obviously too young to remember when the dip switch was foot-operated, located on the floor, to the left of the clutch pedal.
My moggie minor was like that.
 
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