how bone is your missus.

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
Not exactly bone, more like a visitation from the Emperor, but the Beast From The East has done something remarkable.

We went on a visit to Lille, nice place, hot weather. After our morning argument, we went around Lille. Had lunch, and being a hot day she had a half litre pichet. All well and good thought I. I stuck to beer. On the grounds near to the Citadel there was a fun fair. As we were walking round she looked at an attraction which was like something out of NASA recruitment. She looked at three rides and said I want to go on that one. Maximum 5g, 125 KPH, 60 meters up. Normally I would have dissuaded her from this, but as we had had a barney, I was overwhelmed by schadenfreude and coughed up 5 euros. Being of the observant type, I noticed a beer stall not far from the ride. She got on the ride, I went to the beer stall, and watched with interest.

I watched as she got thrown around with amusement. I waited for her when she got off. She had some difficulty walking. Medusa haired and eyes sticking out like bullmastiff's balls. She asked me if we could sit down. Back to the beer stall. I got a glass of beer and almost immediately she took it off me and downed it. Highly unusual, as I have only ever seen her drink beer once before in the 10 years I have known her, and that was due to us walking in 35 degrees for some hours. She asked me how far it was to the hotel and I said not far. She got back to the hotel and said "I have to lie down" So caringly I said fine, and left her there whilst I went to the cafe to sit in the hot sun, drink wine and look at girls. I think that qualifies as a result.
 
Not exactly bone, more like a visitation from the Emperor, but the Beast From The East has done something remarkable.

We went on a visit to Lille, nice place, hot weather. After our morning argument, we went around Lille. Had lunch, and being a hot day she had a half litre pichet. All well and good thought I. I stuck to beer . . . .

"After our morning argument . . . "


Same here :( .

She spends most of her time arguing . . . usually on her own, as I have (eventually) learnt NOT to respond, as it only encourages her/them :( .
 

NSP

LE
After our morning argument
Your marriage appears to be an allegory for WW1 - during the stalemates both sides used to have a morning argument, too.

Only they called it the morning hate....
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
"After our morning argument . . . "

Same here :( .

She spends most of her time arguing . . . usually on her own, as I have (eventually) learnt NOT to respond, as it only encourages her/them :( .
That is the problem with women. Cant live with them, cant shoot them.
 

Gubmint_Agent

War Hero
Finally got around to watching 'Chernobyl' on Sky (which, if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend, btw).
We're 35 minutes in when she asks me "whereabouts is this place?"
"It was in the Soviet Union babe"
"So they're Russians?"
"Well, Russians, Ukrainians, all sorts".
"So why are they speaking English then?"
"Eh?? Because they're all actors babe, and if they weren't we wouldn't know what they were saying."
"Oh."
 

Mike Barton

War Hero
You know Oscar Pistorius? Wow.
No just a wannabe "Quick on the Draw" McGraw, showing off to his bird when he was 17. He was demonstrating how he could spin a revolver in his bedroom and it went off. Got her smack in the right tit (is there such a thing as a wrong tit?).

Apparently teaching weapon safety to new recruits wasn't a high priority for the INLA in the 1970s.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
A mate helped me do some DIY the other day
The OC informed that she decided against the message she had typed while reading it.
Cheers John for helping ExREME sort my back door out
 

Kirkz

LE
A mate helped me do some DIY the other day
The OC informed that she decided against the message she had typed while reading it.
Cheers John for helping ExREME sort my back door out
If your mate sorted her back door out who was it that smashed it in?
 

DaveDaffe

Old-Salt
Asked if she wanted to go to OktoberFest in Shrewsbury and she said "odd how its ALWAYS in October!!"

Much slapping of head!!
 
Asked if she wanted to go to OktoberFest in Shrewsbury and she said "odd how its ALWAYS in October!!"

Much slapping of head!!
Isn't Oktoberfest in Sept?
 
Heading out to do some load development in a little while and I'm printing out some targets when SWMBO hands me another pearl of wisdom.

Her..."To save paper why don't you print the targets on both sides of each sheet".

Me...:blank:
 

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