how bone is your missus.

Next time you'll know, so tell her you're taking her out for dinner, let her go through all the faff.
Then, when you return home with a collection of keep-warm boxes from you're local takeaway, point out you'd said you would take her out, but that nothing had been said about not coming home with dinner.
From experience , an indeterminate radio silence will ensue.
Or he could tell her he's booked a table for a nice Italian meal and then take her to Pizza Hut.
 
I think you either need to alter the timings you've put in the above post, or accept that your table will have been given away...
That's not bone, that's just plain rude.

You're taking her out for dinner for her birthday and she's faffing about all afternoon until she's made sure she's still at the house waaaayyy past your reservation time. I think you have to face it - she's just not into you.
Yep, you are right, my rising anger caused the timings to go way off. 17 should read 15.
 
After twenty years or so most men leave the door open when they’re on the shitter!
I try to go for a shit when she's in the shower. It tends to get her out of the bathroom far earlier than if she's left to her own devices.
 
I try to go for a shit when she's in the shower. It tends to get her out of the bathroom far earlier than if she's left to her own devices.
Why would you shit in someone else bathroom?
 
I wait until SWMBO has just started drying her hair.

I carry out the full S-S-S-S routine, dry off and get dressed.

Then sit and wait for her. No concept of time. I add a half hour to all timings.......
 
... No concept of time. I add a half hour to all timings.......
SWMBO's usual routine was to get pretty much ready for departure on time then:
Make herself a coffee at the time we should be leaving the house;
4mins later (the time it takes to walk to the garage) decides to take a pee, then don shoes and coat, final brush of hair and finish off the coffee;
We're now almost 10mins past the declared 'wheels rolling' time;
Add 4 mins to walk to the garage and we're, near as dammit, 15mins late.
Immutable timetable.
So, I started the old 'add 30mins' routine. Nothing doing: as I said an immutable routine.
"WTH, we're now 45mins late, " came my plaintive yell.
"Bloody nonsense, " she yells back. "I'm not stupid. I can work out how long it'll take to get there as well as you can. All you've done is add 30mins."
There are times, really there are ... !!
 
I'm posh, me. None of this peeing in the bath malarkey.













I pee on the sponge and then wring it out in the adjacent washbasin.
 
I wait until SWMBO has just started drying her hair.

I carry out the full S-S-S-S routine, dry off and get dressed.

Then sit and wait for her. No concept of time. I add a half hour to all timings.......
After reading that I'm suspicious that I have a split personality and your account is actually me posting as my other self.


Or our respective womenfolk are both chronographically inept haemorrhoids.
 
I wait until SWMBO has just started drying her hair.

I carry out the full S-S-S-S routine, dry off and get dressed.

Then sit and wait for her. No concept of time. I add a half hour to all timings.......
What's the fourth "S?"

I do a shower-shit-shave (not necessarily in that order).
 
Shit, shave shower shampoo.
Ahhhh, I see. You may also see why I've no regard for the last "S," having laid eyes, etc...

Although I'd consider the last "S" to be part and parcel of the third.
 
She was down town again this afternoon. On her way home she phones, conversation was as follows.

Her..."Damn roadworks again, they've blocked off our road for getting home. I had to carry on down the road and then I took a left and carried on for a few miles now I don't know where I am" (she shouts down the phone angrily)

Me... Did it occur to you to turn around at one of the businesses about 100 yards on and drive back then take the road behind the Bank to get back on to our road.

Her... Dead silence for a bit then hangs up

Also when she told me she didn't know where she was, it never occurred to her to get the name of the street she was on and enter it into fecking big screen in front of her that has SatNav.

Bone as feck.
 
She was down town again this afternoon. On her way home she phones, conversation was as follows.

Her..."Damn roadworks again, they've blocked off our road for getting home. I had to carry on down the road and then I took a left and carried on for a few miles now I don't know where I am" (she shouts down the phone angrily)

Me... Did it occur to you to turn around at one of the businesses about 100 yards on and drive back then take the road behind the Bank to get back on to our road.

Her... Dead silence for a bit then hangs up

Also when she told me she didn't know where she was, it never occurred to her to get the name of the street she was on and enter it into fecking big screen in front of her that has SatNav.

Bone as feck.
I haven't seen any SatNavs that wouldn't tell you where you were by looking at the map.
 

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