how bone is your missus.

Discussion in 'Now That's What I Call NAAFI Bar' started by SLUDGE, Aug 22, 2006.

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  1. dont know if this as been done guys, but you got to admit , they are prone to the odd howler.

    check this out .

    missus had another prang in her motor, got the civy equiv[ fmt 3, 3] was filling it out for her as you do , she,s firing all the facts to me im writing it down, all going well so far , then i gets to the picture , draws the cars stage by stage until said prang , then showed her the final draft being pleased with my artistic flair, she blew up in my face and said " SHE WAS GOING A LOT FASTER THAN THAT" god bless her, .
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  2. Went camping with my ex t'other weekend (fcukin bizzare situation goin on there for a kick off), set up one of those cheap disposable bbq's and got the bugger lit. Prevailing wind was blowing majority of smoke into the tent, where she was sat looking into a mirror. She turned to me and said, quite seriously, 'I'm getting smoked out here, would you turn the bbq around so the smoke goes someplace else'. Bless.
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  3. did you give her a comforting hug , god bless em all.
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  4. Not my missus but her maternity replacement (so near enough)

    Anyway, head of company taking a short jolly to Europe on business turns to said replacement and asks her to book him and his 3 associates a hire car to pick up from the airport on arrival. 'Any particular sort?' She asks. 'No, just a nice smart car will do.' Yes you guessed it she did just that and booked them a nice 'SMART' car.
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  5. sorry mate you walked right into that one , bet it was ur fault .
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  6. My missus thought that she really was in control of the satellite when on Google Earth ........
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  7. LO VERY L .you surely jest.
  8. My girlfriend is adamant she wants a car just like James of those new Austins!!!!
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  9. I sh*t you not.... I have witnesses
  10. babys looking at me like im a deranged imbacile still laughing mate thats quality
  11. My wife was describing the convertible a bloke down the road bought for his wife to her friend on the phone

    'Oh aye, it's a lovely red colour, it's one of those Toyota MP3's'
  12. Ok not my Missus but my best mates we'll say Dave's missus.

    Three of us are at a cash point myself my mate (not Dave) and her. I'm in the process of getting my money out when she pipes up "I really like this cashpoint", hmmm a bit of a strange one I think so I ask her why's that Vic's, "I like the bleeps it makes". My mate goes "Ohhh little things for little minds", so trying to be witty I go "yeah that's why she's with Dave" her response - "but Dave doesn't bleep!" She honestly didn't get it for about an hour!
  13. my missus actually thought Peter Sellers was French in the Pink Panther fillums
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  14. also, when in California, we pulled into a motel car park. I pressed the tit that opened the boot. She said, "oh my god, the boot just opened itself!"

    I explained that the car had a special sensor, and it knew that we had pulled into a hotel car park.
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  15. A few years ago my ex-wife called me in a fit of fury and much gusto saying that the car would not remotely open.

    I suggested calling out the BMW Emergency service and let them rectify the problem, the car was only a couple of weeks old.

    I arived home as the BMW guy got there. Problem..........BMW's don't open with a VW key fob 8) 8)

    My ex had a Phd.........not in common sense though :p :p

    The BMW techie laughed, made diplomatic comments/suggestions and smiled all the way to his car. The bill for the callout was not funny at £125.00 :oops:

    Bless her.........she is now making someone else unhappy :p

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