How bone are your kids?

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
Just sat with wifey and kids, enjoying a post swim drink.

Son pipes up (fucking random I know)

"Dad"
"What"
"Dad, Have you ever had chocolate, chlli and Coca Beans together?"
"What do you think chocolate is made of"
"uuummmmm"
"TWAT"
"Your always picking on me"
"Grow a set"
"Fine, I will"
"Can I have a Euro"
"Why"
"Cus I can"


Christ I wish I had understood what birth control was.
 
#2
B_AND_T said:
Just sat with wifey and kids, enjoying a post swim drink.
Son pipes up (fucking random I know)

"Dad"
"What"
"Dad, Have you ever had chocolate, chlli and Coca Beans together?"
"What do you think chocolate is made of"
"uuummmmm"
"t**t"
"Your always picking on me"
"Grow a set"
"Fine, I will"
"Can I have a Euro"
"Why"
"Cus I can"


Christ I wish I had understood what birth control was.
"Post swim drink"? Not another bottle of voddy......
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
The_Snail said:
B_AND_T said:
Just sat with wifey and kids, enjoying a post swim drink.
Son pipes up (fucking random I know)

"Dad"
"What"
"Dad, Have you ever had chocolate, chlli and Coca Beans together?"
"What do you think chocolate is made of"
"uuummmmm"
"t**t"
"Your always picking on me"
"Grow a set"
"Fine, I will"
"Can I have a Euro"
"Why"
"Cus I can"


Christ I wish I had understood what birth control was.
"Post swim drink"? Not another bottle of voddy......
Not yet, but heading that way!
 
#4
Thats verbal abuse. You should have your kids taken from you and placed with a nice pakistani family who will nurture their individuality
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
Flagrantviolator said:
Thats verbal abuse. You should have your kids taken from you and placed with a nice pakistani family who will nurture their individuality
Only if they are gay:
 
#6
My little darlings are trying to set up Mousetrap. Its a fcuking nightmare, and they keep bothering me to help.

DO NOT buy this game for your kids.
 
#7
B_AND_T said:
Just sat with wifey and kids, enjoying a post swim drink.

Son pipes up (fucking random I know)

"Dad"
"What"
"Dad, Have you ever had chocolate, chlli and Coca Beans together?"
"What do you think chocolate is made of"
"uuummmmm"
"t**t"
"Your always picking on me"
"Grow a set"
"Fine, I will"
"Can I have a Euro"
"Why"
"Cus I can"


Christ I wish I had understood what birth control was.
B&T u nasty pasty! The child has seen it somwhere, I think it might be M&S that do chilli and cocoa bean chocolate and the other day someone on the telly was making their own version, its got bits of cocoa bean in it.
 
#8
Have Walkers not just brought out chilli and chocolate flavoured crisps?
 
#9
Dont know about bone, but,

Out sledging wth my boy dand he decided to have a crack at the biggest, steepest hill, in the local area.
Hes nearly four, and most kids dont try it until they are at least 7-8.

Mrs Skjold ripped me a new one :x , and although I had to take the boy in for his own safety. I am proud as punch for him, because, as I informed Mrs Skjold.
"I refuse to wrap him cotton wool, and I WOULD OF DONE THE SAME THING".
SK
 
#10
Well, this is how bone I was as a kid. My must asked me to go close the front door before a draught got in. She found me two minutes later slowly edging towards the door, terrified of the giraffe who was trying to get into the house any second. I still remember the fear :oops:

edited for shite spelling
 
#13
My ex had a large reptile collection. Mainly large boas and pythons. To provide them with wholesome food required keeping around 400 breeding rats as comfortably as possible in the shed. Consequently much sawdust was used. This arrived from the pet shop in huge packs. As a young kiddie, my daughter was used to sawdust.

When she was around 9 or 10 years of age, I got the tree surgeon round to remove a tree for me.

She came home from school and asked, "Why has the man put sawdust all over the garden?"
 
#14
we were out near charleville , staying with the kids for a few days, my nearly 4 year old grandson came in crying , said god had made a big Bumburp and the sky had started Leaking :p it was the first time he had ever seen rain :) look what happened to his sister
 

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seaweed

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
Small cousin of mine aged about 3 (this is way over half a century ago), puts his hand down the back of his shorts, 'There's a hole in my bottom!!!!'
 
#16
My kids have grown up and flown the nest. My youngest came into our bedroom when she was about 18 months old, I can still see her little blonde head walking around the room.

She started walking around the the bed and I said to her, " Do you know what a 'lay in' is on a Sunday morning'. She replied, " Yes, daddy - a big Lion " then she gave a big Lion roar.
 
#17
acidedge said:
Well, this is how bone I was as a kid. My must asked me to go close the front door before a draught got in. She found me two minutes later slowly edging towards the door, terrified of the giraffe who was trying to get into the house any second. I still remember the fear :oops:

edited for shite spelling
Just not very well :lol:
 
#18
bovvy said:
My ex had a large reptile collection. Mainly large boas and pythons. To provide them with wholesome food required keeping around 400 breeding rats as comfortably as possible in the shed. Consequently much sawdust was used. This arrived from the pet shop in huge packs. As a young kiddie, my daughter was used to sawdust.

When she was around 9 or 10 years of age, I got the tree surgeon round to remove a tree for me.

She came home from school and asked, "Why has the man put sawdust all over the garden?"
I hope you told her it was because the giant snakes liked it. :twisted:
 
#19
Once convinced daughter giant bar of tolberone in fridge was cheese.

Got my come upence though when I went to open it wife had opened it from other end and guzzeled half of it .

Daughter is destined not to go far in life has joined marine cadets and believes royal marines are better than the army no hope for her is there :cry: .?
 
#20
ah i remember when i was 6 and i encountered my first bully, i ran into the kitchien after being on the arrse end of an arrse kicking crying to my mum, my old man handed me a rolling pin and forced me out the front door, ...
he closes the door and leaves me standing there facing 3 kids with this rolling pin, they laugh and close in, i drop the rolling pin and run away screaming, i don't think he ever really forgave me. :(
 

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