Household Words

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Cuddles, Oct 16, 2006.

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  1. In the lair of Cuddles we have a number of words which are used daily which would, if used externally, probably result in major political correctness poice action.

    For example we eat a lot of curry. With the curry we eat a variety of chutneys and pickles, including the unbiquitous mango chutney. Over the years the cry modified from:

    "Pass the mango chutney"


    "Pass the mangoloid chutney"

    to "

    "Pass the mongoloid chutney"


    "Pass the mong chutney" or just "pass the mong".

    So if, when performing a drive-by shopping I shout from my car to the wife, "Don't forget to get the mong", she knows what I mean, I know what I mean - but the occupants of Melksham Sainsbury's car park do not...

    Anyone else damned by their own thought processes as soon as they open their mouths outwith the domestic castle??
  2. Doall the Trolley attendents all come over??
  3. snake & pygmy pie is eaten at Chez Sako
  4. There was the time I had a very odd look from one of Mr Tesco's employees upon enquiring where I should find 'Biscuits, Fruit'. Fine for me I suppose but my children are now convinced that these fine comestibles, which masquerade under the trade name 'Garibaldi', have no other name.
  5. Mince pies always mice pies chez nous.
  6. Saying 'Shukri Effendi' as I receive change from the proprietor of my local Convenience Store.
  7. Mong Chutney - from the same manufacturer as the Fijian Cannibal Relish? Easy to prepare - one large vat of vinegar, one diving board with bag of sweeties suspended at the end, chuck in other ingredients when you hear the splash. Ferment for a few weeks and then serve.


    I believe referring to your nearest and dearest as a Spacktard is non PC. Or the standard greeting of 'ello fatarse'.

    Also no 1 son is the spaniel, whose current preferred breakfast is scrambled leg. Breakfast also involves healthy butter substitute known as grease.
    When serving veggies, the phrase 'do you want p1ss on that' refers to your personal desire for a serving of peas.

    Oh no, I'd forgotten cowflaps. And dead pig butties. And rat stew (ratatouille).

    I am starting to worry myself.
  8. As per mukhabarat2003; Vielen dank always works at my local Llidl shop. The girl is a Herrenfolk speaking Pole, though.
  9. Always tell the enemy to "Don't forget the shirlys"
    Shirly Bassy = black bag = refuse sacks, black in colour, loved by all CQMS's

  10. Beg leave to disagree. The correct description is of course Minced Eyes.
  11. My Mother-in-law bought me a pair of socks for Christmas. I faked my delight as I unwrapped them before the whole family with 'oh luvely, a pair of suck my c0cks'.
  12. when we have lasagne for dinner my wife always says that Les and agnes are coming for dinner.

    (they never do though) :?

    O and the country has gone to hell in a handbag. Apparrently

    When not feeding my face my wife likes to surf the interweb

    And my children mistake me for the governor of the bank of cheers easy :D

  13. ...Always ask Miss Devil to pass me a "SHIRLEY" when changing the bin...Shirley she asks!..Yes i reply..Shirley Bassey....BLACK BAG.... :wink:

    Also have a nice "Snake & Pigmy" pie...

    Or "Babies Heads" In- laws haven't an igloo, what im saying...LOL... :lol:
  14. Anyone who deals in illicit substances is of course a 'Smug Druggler.'