Horrific things you've found in public toilets.

#1
Public toilets here in Barcelona are far from places for the fainthearted...I refrain from blaming the locals entirely, but then again, on numerous occasions when using the bogs in reputable international companies I have come across signs in Castllian and Catalan imploring the users not to behave like farm animals. There are, shall we say, an interesting mix of cultures here, so it would be wrong to pin the blame on any group in particular. It has become my philosophy to believe that a large portion of humanity have never been toilet-trained but I was quite unprepared for what I experienced this morning. Using a station toilet, late Victorian, large space containing only a porcelain throne and close to the door a washbasin, just in front of the toilet, sat on the floor, was a turd the like of which I have never seen. Turds are sometimes called logs, and indeed this one looked like a large piece of gnarled, dark wood. In fact, considering it's proximity to a perfectly serviceable shite-dumper and it's colour, which was a kind of charcoally Khaki, that's what I initially took it to be. My rough estimate would put it at around six inches long, three inches thick and shaped, as I said like a literal log. Not being entirely daft, rather than touching it with my delicate hands I decided to establish it's identity by giving it a hoof, which detached it from it's main anchor point an sent it rolling, leaving a dark, limpet-like crust attached to the floor and revealing a kind of dark, yellowy-green interior. It was not the sheer fact of meeting this ' thing' that unnerved me, but the immediate question of what kind of creature produced it. I feel when I next go in that district I shall carry a shorthandle clawhammer for protection...
 
#2
Things I have found in public toilets. 2 dead junkies, several overdosed near dead junkies, junkies fuçking.
A dead baby.
Lots of needles.
 
#6
Suicide by gunshot
 
#12
Things I have found in public toilets. 2 dead junkies, several overdosed near dead junkies, junkies fuçking.
A dead baby.
Lots of needles.
There is a book waiting to be written about your life experience.
We have all seen some of the photos ( bet you are not showing some ).
Write it . Get Quentin Tarantino to direct it.

(Cut me in on the film Rights )
 
#13
I feel when I next go in that district I shall carry a shorthandle clawhammer for protection...

Even EM would not recommend using a hammer against a poo
 
#14
1. A waist high hole in the cubicle door and a note stuck to the wall in very small writing, imploring the reader to bend over.....

2. A desire to wash myself with bleach.

3. A swarm of flies.

Even EM would not recommend using a hammer against a poo
Quite right, use a potato masher instead, but keep your mouth closed.
 
#16
A human eye peering through a hole

Which regrettably beat a hastry retreat at the sight of the screwdriver attached to my keyring being thrust in its direction
 
#17
1. A waist high hole in the cubicle door and a note stuck to the wall in very small writing, imploring the reader to bend over.....

2. A desire to wash myself with bleach.

3. A swarm of flies.



Quite right, use a potato masher instead, but keep your mouth closed.
If think a German grenade is even less advisable
 
#20
A never ending supply of income, extorted from middle aged married suburban closet queens, the filthy scutters. As for overheads, I only have to cut the Romanian nine year old boy in for 2% of the gross and a bag of pick n mix, and polaroid instant film. Not horrific for me, but it could be for the punters.
 
Last edited:

Similar threads


Top