Horrid Porn movie story

#1
I came across this somewhere else anmd I had to share it here. This truely must be what the NAAFI was created for, the discussion of topics such as this. Allegedly this was posted on a BBS for adult movie makers to share their tricks of the trade etc...

You know every now and then you meet someone that proves blonde jokes are real.

Ok, this girl from Florida is on vacation in france.

I met her and she said she needed money. She spent most of her's already.

So I said, I can use you in a video or two. Scared to do porn?

She responds, "Hell no! My fiancee is in Iraq he won't know." (Whatever I don't care)

Ok, 2 days later she shows up on set. (On time!)

Both my stud and I notice a slight smell. We ingnore it and go to work.

Things progress without a problem until anal.

Stud goes to stick it in her has feels major "obstruction" asks if she needs an enema.

Dumb Blonde reponse. Response, "Nope I did one this morning. Don't worry no poop in there."

Stud responds, "Ok but there is something big in there and you might want to try and push it out before I start."

Dumb Blonde response, "Oh that... Don't worry about it, thats just part of a potato. Go right ahead, it's not bothering me any."

Now I should have just kept my mouth shut. I should have just minded my own fucking business. But I just had to fucking ask.

"POTATO!?"

Dumb blonde response, "Before I left Florida I was fooling around with a couple of people and we stuck half a potato in my ass for fun. It's kind of stuck there."

My Stud now just has to ask, "You fool around with a potato? How long has it been in your ass?"

Dumb blonde just flips us out with this response, "Well we wuz just being silly, you know how it gets. (Sorry no I don't) It's been about 3 weeks or so I recon."

Me again, (I need to learn to shut up.)
"Can you shit?"

Dumb blonde finishes the conversation with "Yea I don't seem to have any problems with that. I go regularly but I think the potato is starting to go bad because it just won't come out."

My stud looks me in the face and says "I'm out of here... no way am I sticking my cock in that." (I don't blame the guy.)

I paid the girl, said the scene was over and told her to see a doctor. I will not use her again.
I feel sick. :oops:
 
#5
I will email this to the team on Gardeners Question Time with two questions:

1 given that we are not sure wether it is an early variety that has been planted at what point should we earth up?

2if they are earlies, and I am sure we all hope they are,what yield should be expected from this type of container planting?

I look forward to receiving a response from the organic guru Bob Flowerdew. I wonder if he has considered sticking a spud up Ann Swithenbanks claypit?
 
#6
Sounds great fun.

Right I'm off home to turn my hoop into a human spud gun and fire tin cans off my garden wall.

Will report back tomorrow morning. :lol:
 
#8
And don't stretch that ring too much.

I plan on having a good time with it. 8)




Edited for Spelling.
 
#11
Munter? You wouldn't say that after a few halves of Stella (women shouldn't drink pints). :lol:
 
#14
Dozy B, you were right...I shouldn't have looked and that is wrong, wrong wrong...

Interestingly, it is grape jelly - is that American for grape jam or is it something you put on piles and the poor chap didn't realise you have to remove the packaging?? No explanation for the spud sir, accept your award...oh and what a hairy ARRse!!

8O 8O 8O :twisted:
 

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