Hoop Virginity

#1
As probably the only female on Arrse who still has her hoop viginity, I need to ask you male Arrsers a question.

What is the fcuking fascination?

My other half has been going on about taking my hoop virginity on and off for about 5 years and my answer to him is always the same, 'feck off you dirty cnut'

I'm no prude, but I just can't stand the thought of it.

But its got the the point where he is bringing the subject up every day. He walks round the house singing the '(s) hoop, (s)hoop song' and calling himself the hoop burster.

Even his ring dhobie's are getting increasingly intrusive, to the point where I recoil so violently I practically fall off the bed.

But, after 5 years of nagging, it's starting to wear me down. But, before I make my decision I need to know why it's so bloody important to a bloke.......Arrsers, it's over to you.......
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
If we penetrate the ring, we are very happy. Fascination? No its an obsession. Why? Because its naughty, it means your woman is a bit kinky and its f*cking great!

Hope it answers the question. My advice: Give Herr Moodybitch what he wants, but make a trade. is there anything you want from him? (Divorce, shopping, jewelery, etc don't count). If so, trade........
 
#3
Do you mean in general or just your hoop. In general it has to be the fist tight grip and the fact that it hurts the bird there is nothing quite like power over a lass in bed. For you maybe he is a closet bender and the fact that you look like a bloke is what gets his rocks off. He merely wants to complete the gay fantasy by hanging out of your hairy hoop for a few hours if he starts to make you wear a beard in bed and call you Alan then you know I am right.
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Hey, just because you get refused any form of sex, leave us to get some anyway we can. Go on MB, give him your hoop, you'll love it.
 
#7
jimmys_best_mate said:
It's tight, it's warm and it's more humiliating
I am sorry are you talking about giving or taking.
 
#9
I believe you mate millions wouldn’t but I do.
 
#10
Moody, use it as a useful negotiating tool. Anyway, the secret to hoop-raiding success for both parties is a bottle or two of champagne and a handful of KY.

You know it makes sense.

V!
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
Less of Jimmy, more of you taking it up the hoop, well are you going to do it or not?

If so, we want proof, hard evidence, you know what I mean?
 
#13
Damm right we need evidence a written blow by blow account will do for a start but picture of your you hoop before during and after are essential.
 
#14
Why are men obsessed with trap 2 action? Well, simple.

All men love sex- proven fact.

All men love dirty sex- all real men anyway.

Trap 2 is considered dirty and tabo- therefore, men what part of that.

Virgin hoops will be tight- oooh the joy.

The final reason is that we know most ladies recoil at the thought of blood sports. Therefore, gaining access to full hoop privilages means that when a red flag is flying on A range, you can fire on B range.
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
Well Said Adjt, well said.

But we also know is that women actually love it. The voyage of the unknown, a little pain followed by the pleasure, the howling like a banshee.

Oh, I need to take a little lie down or cold shower...........
 
#16
Vegetius said:
Moody, use it as a useful negotiating tool. Anyway, the secret to hoop-raiding success for both parties is a bottle or two of champagne and a handful of KY.

You know it makes sense.

V!
Well the advice (or rather lack of) has nto really helped. All I have gleaned so far is that most men only want to do you in the arse because it is humiliating for the woman and makes them feel like 'real' blokes.

Feck that! Unless someone can convince me otherwise, there is not a bloke on this earth who is busting into my back door love tunnel
 
#17
If there is no KY to hand then WD40 make an excellent lube
 
#18
Vegetius said:
Moody, use it as a useful negotiating tool.
V!
He's right girl, the most i've ever coughed up for a bit of 'Jimmy Krankie PT' is a weekend for two in Paris, two Steaks Tatare, a bottle of merlot and a starlit trip on a bateau bus along the seine. You no longer have your looks, dignity and zest for life, so you might as well cling on to the one thing you can bargain with until it's really worth your while.
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
How do you want convincing?

"But we also know is that women actually love it. The voyage of the unknown, a little pain followed by the pleasure, the howling like a banshee."

That could be you...........

You can't scoff at something you ain't tried now can ye?
 

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