Hoon's poison pen

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Dr_Evil, Nov 8, 2004.

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  1. "UK troops are to get the most advanced and effective respirator in the world to protect them from chemical and biological warfare agents in a contract announced today by the Ministry of Defence".

    Three questions:

    1. Why do we need protection from chem/bio agents in a contract? Has Hoon been trialling some new bit of kit from the Bulgarian secret service?

    2. (Dons lawyerly wig) If UK troops are to get the said respirators as a result of a contract announced today, (doffs wig, dons helmet) does that mean that we should expect to be going anywhere where they might come in handy?

    3. If so, will they fit this time?
  2. You think he is preparing the troops for a visit to tehran or Pyong-Yang along with our cousin in the stetson and spurs?

    agent smith
  3. Guess so. Rollout is due in 2007, apparently.

    Korea 2007, eh?

    Squaddie: "I'm not going anywhere without one of them Gucci ressies."

    MOD person: "Not to worry. You'll get it in theatre."
  4. how true!
  5. Perhaps its to be available should their be a terrorist chem/bio attack upon the UK ?
  6. so the contract says that now...

    What we will actually get is something that costs five times as much as it should, wieghs 50 pounds and is as much use a wet bag.

    I for one want to put Hoon in a chamber full of sarin and then see if the thing works.

    PS why don't we have them already as we just faced a supposed NBC threat?
  7. So will this be vastly over budget and 3-4 years behind schedule as well?
  8. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    Never a truer thing said in jest! If the people responsible for procuring the kit actually had to use it do you think they would be so keen to saddle us with crap?

    If Hoon and the shiney arses in the MoD had to use the ressies would they leak? If they had to use the kevlar vests do you thikn there would be a shortage? If they had to fire the weapons would there be a need for a mid-life upgrade?

    Somehow I doubt it.
  9. Let's hope that this proposed ressie will allow you to breathe under 'load' without 'beating the valve' and half choking for want of air!