Hookers

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cessna123, Feb 9, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. OK, it's well known that young military folk (and old ones) visit the girls who practice the oldest profession.

    So let's hear the stories of the best and the worst hookers you have ever sampled.

    I'll add my observations (and pictures) if the thread gets interest.
     
  2. As a young Sapper I was taken to a place in Hamburg by some of the lads and shoved into a room with a horrendous fat old slag. Ach meine liebling, du bist so shon she grunted hoarsely whilst fitting me with a Ruhr valley grade industrial condom. Jah, jah fich mich liebling, nein, nein nicht im arsch minem snooky pookey and much more. I could scarcely stop myself from giggling. Eventually I squirted into the condom and made to whip it off and spread the contents over her sagging tits, but she rolled off the bed with surprising speed for one so old and fat, saying nein danke liebling, and zwanzig mark bitte. Grabbing the condom off me she popped the lid off a small plastic bin and dropped it in with the other 20 or so used rubbers in there. Giving my cock a brusque towelling with a paper wet wipe, she parted her greying badgers arse pubes and gave herself a wipe with the other side of the wet wipe. I could hardly walk out of the door for laughing. Still it turned a shiney blue balloon back into a wrinkled sack, so it was time for a beer.
     
  3. A 'friend' was being initimate with lady of the night when she remarked "It's a bit small isn't it?" Somewhat taken aback my 'friend' replied "Sorry, that's as big as it gets". The lady first looked confused, then shocked, then laughed "I meant the bed". I was so relieved, err, my friend was relieved.....