Honourable employment required

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Dashing_Chap, Sep 2, 2008.

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  1. Evening chaps!

    Alas & egad! Today has been the most awful day in the life of Dash! The economic situation has finally taken effect & my supposed promotion backfired with great effect… I ended up losing my job. :omg:

    Now I’ve lost everything! I’m going to lose my flat, (moving I’m afraid is irresistible) my social life & I shall even have to face the dread of moving back in with dearest Mater, which means I also lose my liberty. :x

    Of course the only answer to this is to rush out & get another job asap! Unfortunately this proves easier said than done, I perceive it will be quite difficult in our current economic climate.

    I have 3 things to help me in my gallant cause:

    1.) A train ticket to anywhere in London lasting until Sunday

    2.) A paid work phone which I conveniently neglected to hand back in, but I suppose they shall realise it’s MIA at some point

    3.) The rent for my flat lasts until the end of the month

    Unfortunately my balance is not as robust as I had hoped, partly because this entire episode has come completely out of the blue, so I’m also going to have to ration myself. I also foolishly squandered my income on two fabulous Savile Row suits & a laptop, in the false & myopically naive belief that I would be due a payrise. :x

    Sirs, my situation is quite cruel & I know not what to do! I have never liked work & would much prefer a job where I get the maximum benefit for minimum input, although I don’t think I’m quite qualified for politics yet. I’ve spent the last 6 hours firing off my CV to recruitment agencies & tomorrow I plan to make good use of my ticket. I’ve tried searching Google for agencies in the city but I’m afraid it’s not so helpful on their location, so if anyone knows of any good ones I would be most exceedingly obliged.

    I have the honour to remain your most troubled yet obedient servant, &tc.

  2. Sodexho are looking for pan bashers at St. Omer Bks.
  3. DC it may help if you let people know the type of work you would be looking for, this would allow them to point you in the direction of the correct type of agency, etc
  4. As usual I’m touched by your endearing kindness Mr Jarrod but I’m afraid I tend to shy away from manual labour as it ruins my manicure & I end up with frightful blisters. 8O

    Mr Daz that is rather a good idea, my preference would be management of some sort, albeit with an emphasis on project work & maybe even construction. My last station involved my sitting around & drinking copious amounts of tea whilst everyone else took care of things, I find I was well qualified & quite suited to it.

    A curious proposition Mr Tiger, do they do any work in Val d'Isere?

    I remain, &tc.

  5. I want to kill you with my bare hands just for talking like a knob
  6. You can earn a living at Kings Cross talking that shite.
  7. It's interesting you should say that sir as it was the location of my last place of employment.

  8. I don't suppose you weren't once a potential cavalry officer per chance? I'd sack your arse if you worked for me too.

    Although I do feel your plight old boy and came up with this after a bit of digging around. I sincerely hope it helps you out.
  9. Jesus f*cking christ my keyboard is covered with tea!
  10. sell your arrse on the street, someone is bound to kick your back door in for a few quid
  11. I cannot be held responsible for any spillage of hot beverages, and I like my shed so leave it the fuck alone Tankie. I've heard about you.
  12. I thank you for your kind note sir, & shall bear it in mind, I have an old uniform that I’ve no use for, but I daresay such carnal actions were rarely considered for Her Majesty’s glorious service.

    I think my biggest ailment now is that I no longer know what to do, I have no desire to be restricted to a desk, yet I also want to be satisfied with wealth. I would have dearly loved to be a pilot, but it is unrealistic & I do not possess the fortune required for training...

    I doubt there are any jobs that are gratifying in the city!


  13. If qualifications and work ethic are on the thin side, then it's either the civil service or a PCSO's job for you.

    HMRC specialise in gobledegook that resembles a Microsoft end user's licence and nobody understands, although I rather gather that the form of dress is more turban than Saville Row nowadays.

    PCSOs apparently do bugger all and get paid loads for doing it, sounds ideal and you would probably get first dibs on "essential worker housing".

    Alternatively, perhaps become a tour guide and spend all day confusing johnny foreigners?
  14. Get out of the "City" would be my advice, you have to go to work..work dont go to you
    Flog the laptop, say hello to your mum then get your arse in gear and go searching me old son, If need must..move town!