Homemade Contraception Ideas?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PrepareToDouble, Mar 29, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. My girlfriend just suggested dipping my cock in candlewax and letting it dry. Any suggestions?
     
  2. chop your cock off at the point where it is attached to your forehead.
     
  3. Clingfilm- 60% of the time it works every time...
     
  4. in_the_cheapseats

    in_the_cheapseats LE Moderator

    For someone like yourself, simply jumping off a cliff would help the gene pool.
     
  5. Sticking your bollocks in a meat tenderiser?
     
  6. up the bum - no harm done!
     
  7. Her on top. Something to do with gravity I'm reliably informed.
     
  8. An empty crisp packet and a rubber band, but make sure that the salty side in facing outwards. If she's got sores she'll scream a good'un.
     
  9. Give her a false name. (Doesn't protect against STD though)
     
  10. Form a mental image of Anne Widdecombe and Jaqui Smith getting it on.

    Stop a charging rhino that will.
     
  11. Just marry the stupid blart.
     
  12. Tie a knot in it... :D

    Litotes
     
  13. get a blowjob instead
     
  14. Get her to take off her makeup. Normally works when my missus does it :twisted: