Homeland Security Advice--"Take scissors to a gunfight"

#2
#3
#4
As advice goes it's not really the best is it.
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Substitute bloke on left for me in JWH, denims and DMS boots and bloke on right for crusty Scottish 'lady' in NAAFI coverall and it's almost a perfect Crimewatch re-enactment of the infamous 'Pitswamper finds he doesn't have enough cash to pay for his pie and milk stand easy scran' case.
 
#6
Saying "Don't shoot I'm a hemophiliac" could work.
 
#12
I suggest that rather than armed guards or permits to carry, one staff member in each school, business or US Postal Service sorting office should be trained in scissor skills.
Start on on something simple like cutting out papermen, then when confident they could progress to intricate Kirigami work.
Then when a nut job with a gun goes Postal while the scissor operator amuses and confounds him/her with his snipping skills other staff, children and or other Postmen/women can make their escape.
Either that or he/she will be the first to be riddled.
 
#16
Maybe homeland security could spend some of its trillions preventing nutjobs aquirring guns and ammo even our goverments have mostly managed that at least to the extent that schools and health and safety don't worry about nutter with gun scenario.
 
#17
Well, it's a Constitutional right to keep and bear scissors. As long as they're not black-painted 'Assault Scissors' which would be bad and wrong.
My dear sir you have quite exceeded your own high bar for wit. Still laughing here.
 
#18
Maybe homeland security could spend some of its trillions preventing nutjobs aquirring guns and ammo even our goverments have mostly managed that at least to the extent that schools and health and safety don't worry about nutter with gun scenario.
One of you more sensible posts BH--'not sure what that says about you but there it is. ;-) Well done.
 
#19
I suggest that rather than armed guards or permits to carry, one staff member in each school, business or US Postal Service sorting office should be trained in scissor skills.
Start on on something simple like cutting out papermen, then when confident they could progress to intricate Kirigami work.
Then when a nut job with a gun goes Postal while the scissor operator amuses and confounds him/her with his snipping skills other staff, children and or other Postmen/women can make their escape.
Either that or he/she will be the first to be riddled.
Quite excellent--my fellow denizens of ARRSE (especially in the subterranean NAAFI) are not disappointing me with their astuteness in also seeing the fatal inanity of this idea.
 

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