Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Sparky2339, Jan 25, 2009.

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  1. Forget yer Sunday Roast...

    It's Haggis, Tatties n Neeps thi day!!!

    Dinny forget yer C.ock a Leekie soup, nor yer Cranachan and oatcakes n cheese to finish. Veggies can have TUC or cheesie biscuits...

    And if yer havn a few drams it has to be the Macallan.

    Whaes like us?....
  2. The Soldier's Return[align=center]

    When wild war's deadly blast was blawn,
    And gentle peace returning,
    Wi' mony a sweet babe fatherless,
    And mony a widow mourning;
    I left the lines and tented field,
    Where lang I'd been a lodger,
    My humble knapsack a' my wealth,
    A poor and honest sodger.

    A leal, light heart was in my breast,
    My hand unstain'd wi' plunder;
    And for fair Scotia hame again,
    I cheery on did wander:
    I thought upon the banks o' Coil,
    I thought upon my Nancy,
    I thought upon the witching smile
    That caught my youthful fancy.

    At length I reach'd the bonie glen,
    Where early life I sported;
    I pass'd the mill and trysting thorn,
    Where Nancy aft I courted:
    Wha spied I but my ain dear maid,
    Down by her mother's dwelling!
    And turn'd me round to hide the flood
    That in my een was swelling.

    Wi' alter'd voice, quoth I, "Sweet lass,
    Sweet as yon hawthorn's blossom,
    O! happy, happy may he be,
    That's dearest to thy bosom:
    My purse is light, I've far to gang,
    And fain would be thy lodger;
    I've serv'd my king and country lang-
    Take pity on a sodger."

    Sae wistfully she gaz'd on me,
    And lovelier was than ever;
    Quo' she, "A sodger ance I lo'ed,
    Forget him shall I never:
    Our humble cot, and hamely fare,
    Ye freely shall partake it;
    That gallant badge-the dear cockade,
    Ye're welcome for the sake o't."

    She gaz'd-she redden'd like a rose -
    Syne pale like only lily;
    She sank within my arms, and cried,
    "Art thou my ain dear Willie?"
    "By him who made yon sun and sky!
    By whom true love's regarded,
    I am the man; and thus may still
    True lovers be rewarded.

    "The wars are o'er, and I'm come hame,
    And find thee still true-hearted;
    Tho' poor in gear, we're rich in love,
    And mair we'se ne'er be parted."
    Quo' she, "My grandsire left me gowd,
    A mailen plenish'd fairly;
    And come, my faithfu' sodger lad,
    Thou'rt welcome to it dearly!"

    For gold the merchant ploughs the main,
    The farmer ploughs the manor;
    But glory is the sodger's prize,
    The sodgerpppp's wealth is honor:
    The brave poor sodger ne'er despise,
    Nor count him as a stranger;
    Remember he's his country's stay,
    In day and hour of danger.[/align]
  3. Gawd bless ye Tiger Stacker!!!

    Ne Obliviscarus neebs :D
  4. Does this mean all the Sweaty Socks will go back over the border,and stay there?

    Please make it so.
  5. And leave ye un-educated??? Have ye nae culture??

    Yer signature block says it all... lmao

    aulder but nae wiser.....
  6. Can you do your threads with sub-titles,please.Thank you.
  7. And leave you un-educated by jove!!??

    Have you no culture my good man???

    Your signature block says it all, old chap.

    As i said before..

    *cough* Aulder but nae wiser :D !!!

    Top-hole, what?? Absolutely capital!!!

    Gawd Bless Flanagan n Allen, Dickie henderson n Arthur Askie :D :D

    edited to add; how Passport to Pimlico didny get an Oscar, I'll never know..
  8. Haggis Heads the Menu in Helmand

  9. Many thanks for posting that Fair Maid fi Perth.

    To see us as ithers see us eh?? The world is missing out on a cultural gem if they dinny join in.

    A man's a man for aw that.. n wummin well.. a wummins a wummin for aw that anaw, as well n trannies tae.

    As the song in jesus christ superstar/spoap star says "tae ken him is tae blow him".

    If Abraham Lincoln n Barrack Hussein Obama can clue intae it...

    When will other folk learn?? :D
  10. Are you still living in 1943? Oh,you're in Edinburgh,of course you are.
  11. Embra!!! Embra??? Oh.. aye.. ermm. welll... *cough* mea culpa mea culpa.

    I may sound posh, as if I live in the suburb known as Morningside, but I reside atwixt the bridges of the Forth, on the south side. Edinburgh is easier for google-less folk to pin point.

    I can remember when wireless meant WIRELESS, never mind yer lap top shennigans!!!!!!!!!

    Radio Luxembourg and Helvetica (I had them as type faces on word perfect I'm sure too) on the sideboard radiogram.

    When we bought a "man portable" suitcase record player (78, 45 n 33 rpm) wi stacking capability we thocht we were the bees knees...

    It's just a pity we didny have electricity at the time.....
  12. This has been fun,but the dog won't walk herself.
    Enjoy your Burn's Night,and have a dram for the boy's and girl's who won't be able to!
  13. Traditional Easy To Make Atholl Brose Recipe

    This easy to make Atholl Brose recipe can be made in a few minutes and can be made on the day it is to be drunk but tastes much better if stored for a week.

    Ingredients For Atholl Brose

    One bottle of Scotch whisky
    10 fluid ounces (Half Pint) of double cream
    450g of clear Scottish honey
    The whites of six large eggs
    One handful of fine ground oatmeal

    Directions To Make Atholl Brose

    1. Soak the oatmeal with the Scotch whisky and set aside.

    2. Beat the egg whites until they become stiff.

    3. Fold the cream into the egg white mixture.

    4. Add the honey.

    5. Blend in the whisky and oatmeal mixture at a slow but steady pace.

    6. Pour the liquid into some bottles and set aside for one week. Shake each bottle of Atholl Brose each day.
  14. Cheers Vvaannmmaann :D Slainte!!!!

    To absent friends...


    Get yersel a Border Collie, when yer hungover they'll nip oot the back n do their biz in 30 seconds [5 mins if yer soft wi them] n comfort you in yer misery.

    When yer giving it big zzzzz's in the chair they'll chew yer slippers n sh.ag yer leg.. but apart fi that they're the mutts nutts. :D
  15. Address tae a fart

    Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
    Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
    As ye sit doon amongst yer kin
    There sterts tae stir an enormous win'

    The neeps an' tatties an' mushy peas
    Stert workin' like a gentle breeze
    But soon the puddin' wi' the sonsie face
    Will have ye blawin' a' ower the place.

    Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
    A'body's gonnae hae tae pay
    Even if ye try tae stifle
    It's like a bullet oot o' a rifle

    Haud yer bum tight tae the chair
    Tae try an' stop the leakin' air
    Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
    Pray tae God it disnae reek.

    But aw yer efforts gan asunder
    Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
    Ricochets aroon' the room
    Michty me! A sonic boom

    God Almichty, it fairly reeks!
    Hope I huvnae s**t ma breeks!
    Tae the bog ah'd better scurry,
    Ach, whit the hell, it's no ma worry.

    A'body roon aboot me chokin'
    Yin or twa were nearly boakin'
    I'll feel better for a while
    Cannae help but raise a smile.

    Wis him! I shout with accusin' glower,
    las! Too late! He's just keeled ower
    Ye dirty bugger, they shout and stare
    A didnae feel welcome ony mair

    Where e'r ye be let yer wind gan free
    Sounds like just the job for me
    Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
    Ower the sake o' one wee farty.